I don’t know, I’ve just been feeling off lately.
Like I’m not that same, fun-loving, sensuous woman in love with her life anymore, she whispered over the phone. Though she was trying to hide it, I could hear the shame she felt at admitting this, in the spaces between her words.
She felt shame because for all intents and purposes, she was extremely successful. She had created a very successful business from scratch. From the outside so many others admired her. It felt really embarrassing to reveal the truth — that what everyone saw was not what she felt behind the scenes.
What’s wrong with me that I have all these amazing things in my life and business, and yet I feel confused, stuck and like something is “off”. Business isn’t going as well as before, so many things feel like pulling teeth these days. I don’t know what is going on, why it’s suddenly so hard to make money and why I feel so lost.
I knew immediately what was wrong.
She was out of alignment with her Soul.
I opened my mouth and told her, I’m going to say something controversial right now.
You are not meant to be suffering all the time. Things are not actually supposed to be this hard. You can have clarity, you can make more money working less, you can feel fulfilled and get more meaning out of your business and your relationships. In fact, that is your natural state when you are in alignment with the truth of who you are.
I heard total silence on the other end of the phone as she took this in.
You’ve been lied to. We’ve all been lied to. We are not here to work hard all the time to prove ourselves worthy of abundance, happiness and fulfillment. Your natural state is actually to be in pleasure. You are actually built for pleasure.
My client began to softly cry on the other end of the line. Three months after that phone call, as we continued to work together, she sent me a text.
I have never felt more clear, more confident, more alive and more ME than this very moment. I feel totally aligned. I just had three clients contact me out of the blue and I didn’t even have to work that hard for it. And I’m dating this amazing guy that literally was plucked from my manifesting journal. I never knew this is what alignment feels like.
If you are a woman your body has 8,000 nerve endings on your clitoris that exist for the sole purpose of experiencing pleasure. If you research creation myths across cultures around the world, they all start with desire — the creator created the Universe and everything in it for his/her pleasure. We have five senses designed to taste, touch, feel, hear and see all of the lusciousness of life.
Being in pleasure is being in alignment with your true purpose.
And when we are in alignment, life is just… easier.
Your work, your business, relationships… they’re all more fulfilling. You feel connected to something more than you. You feel like you are contributing to the planet. You attract the right people and opportunities to you. Money flows to you without having to push so hard for it all the time. You have energy, stamina and confidence to put yourself out there. You feel clear and like you know exactly where you are going.
Things are not meant to be so hard.
You’re not supposed to “hustle” all the time in your business. You’re not supposed to be isolated and feel like you can’t trust or open up to anyone. You’re not supposed to feel overwhelmed all the time. You’re not supposed to feel like you have to wear a mask in public and fall apart behind the scenes because you’ve built a tiny version of hell for yourself by unconsciously building a business and life that wasn’t in alignment with your true self.
Pleasure is what you were made for and what you are here to experience. And when you are in alignment, you are in pleasure. You are in your natural state of flow. You are in the flow of all life. You are being who you were called here to be.
So you see, alignment is a pretty big effin’ deal. It’s why my entire business is built around helping soul-driven, ambitious women who feel called to impact the world in a big way…
Most of the time we don’t even realized that we are out of alignment, though. One of the most frequent questions I get in our inbox every week is “how do I know if I’m out of alignment?”
It’s a very important question. Because if you’re not in alignment, you’re not getting what you want in life and in your business/work. If you’re not in alignment, you’re out of the flow. Things are harder. You feel confused and stuck.
Most of us don’t even know how to identify the symptoms of misalignment. Today, I’m going to teach you 8 unexpected signs that show you are out of alignment.
These are “red flags” I look for when I start working with someone that quickly tell me whether there’s an alignment issue or not. By no means are these “all” the signs, but they are the most common ones I see.
If you have any of these symptoms, you might have an alignment problem. And I want you in alignment, because that’s the only kind of life I want you to have — one of pleasure, flow and meaning. That doesn’t mean life is all butterflies and roses. But when you’re in alignment with your soul, even life’s difficulties feel easier to manage.
Without further ado, here are the 8 surprising signs that you may be out of alignment.
1. You wake up every day feeling like something is off but you don’t know what it is.
Something is always nagging at you, though you can’t put your finger on it. Something in you doesn’t feel “totally good”. You keep thinking there must be more I’m here to do. But you’re not sure what it is yet. Sometimes you even wake up at 4am and feel your heart beating wildly, knowing that something isn’t quite right.
2. You feel disconnected from yourself.
You feel like you used to be a fun, full-of-life woman, but now you just feel a little blah. You used to hear a little voice inside of you that would guide you to your heart’s desires, but lately you don’t hear that little voice anymore. You don’t take much time to be with yourself these days and in fact, sometimes you avoid it. You wonder, where is that woman that I used to be? What happened?
3. Your external reality is not matching up with what you really desire.
This is a big one that we talk about in several modules of my 7 Soul Gates program. I believe that often the world that we see around us can be a big mirror for what is off energetically/misaligned inside of us . So for example — if you keep getting a particular type of awful client, or you keep getting people who question your prices, sometimes that tells me something inside of you is putting out the wrong “bat signal” — one that actually isn’t aligned with what you really want and who you really are.
Whenever I see this with my clients, I immediately get to doing the internal clean-up work we need to do to clear out any misaligned vibes they might be putting out that might be attracting these situations or people. Within a few sessions, I see a huge shift.
By the way — this is NOT the same as “victim blaming”. I don’t like it when so-called spiritual gurus say that everything that happens to you, you created because you are broken inside. Sometimes crazy shiz just happens to people. Sometimes people are crazy and just show up in your life because you’re there to learn how to set a boundary and send that person packing.
But if it’s not that and you are seeing the same patterns of not getting what you want over and over, it could be a sign that you’re not in alignment with your true Soul. And as a result, the vibes you put out there are not reflecting what you actually want and send mixed messages to the Universe.
4. You are getting sick a lot
Some clients of mine have had weird autoimmune flare ups, constant sore throats, frequently catch colds and more. Sometimes, it’s their body trying to communicate to them that something is not in alignment. In some sessions with clients, I have actually talked (and had the client talk) to the part of the body that is acting out. You’d be amazed at the information that comes out. Often the part of the body that is flaring up has something to say about how my client’s desires are being held back or they are not feeling expressed fully.
One time, as we spoke to a client’s shoulder, it told us she is feeling really restricted sexually around her partner and she wants to let loose. Another client’s throat told me that she wanted to tell her boyfriend she loved him but she was afraid and didn’t. She kept getting bad sore throats and colds that concentrated in her throat area because she wasn’t in alignment with her truth. She was holding back the words she wanted to say. When I gave her the homework to tell him, the issue completely cleared up and she stopped getting sore throats all the time.
5. You feel tired, sluggish and uninspired
You could need rest. Or better nutrition. Or it could be that you’ve been ignoring your real desires for so long that a part of you feels defeated. In response, it gives you nihilistic thoughts that scream at you “what’s the point” as you let out another deep sigh and wonder why nothing seems to inspire you anymore. This is because the part of you that you are holding back is depressed. And holding back a part of your true self takes a lot of energy. Misalignment seems easier to the ego, but often it’s draining and makes you feel tired.
6. You feel unclear, foggy, stuck, or like you can’t see what’s next for you.
When you’re in alignment with your soul, you are connected deeply to your soul’s unlimited wisdom. You are connected to the blueprint in your soul that has all the step by step instructions for what’s next. You are meant to be able to easily access this info when you’re aligned and have no problem creating a clear vision. If you’re having trouble feeling clear or “seeing” what is next for you, something might not be aligned. Often, when a client of mine is not in alignment, her ability to see what is right and true for her is diminished. Lack of alignment “clogs up the channel” so to speak.
7. You’re not attracting what you want
It seems that everyone out there is just creating what they want left and right, but you feel like you’re pulling teeth just to get one tiny thing that isn’t even what you actually want. You used to be good at manifesting things, but now everything feels really hard. Alignment gives off a very powerful vibration. A vibration that says to the Universe “THIS is what I want. I’m ready to receive it.” When you’re out of alignment, the Universe doesn’t receive a clear signal and as a result your manifesting results might be lacking or confusing.
8. No matter what you do, it’s not working out.
Like I said before: your true nature is not one of struggle and exhaustion. It’s pleasure and flow. If you have been racking your brain trying to get an offering, a relationship or a project to be successful but no matter what you do it doesn’t seem to work out, chances are that you are not in alignment with that offering, relationship or project. When you’re in alignment with yourself and the thing you are here to create, it flows naturally and easily to you. And when you DO work hard on it, it doesn’t feel like awful, hard work. It feels exhilarating and exciting, even if you’re a bit tired afterwards.
Bottom line: alignment changes everything. It makes life more enjoyable, meaningful and pleasurable. Alignment puts us closer to living our true purpose on the planet. And it reveals your true path to you, step by step, with total confident clarity.
If you’ve answered “yes” to any of the above, you could be out of alignment with your true self. So, what will you do to remedy that today?
I’d love to hear in the comments below!
PS: I want to thank my friend and colleague Kendrick Shope for inspiring this blog post.