The past 2 months have brought the most challenging times I have been through in a while.
Within the span of 2 months:
My dog, who has been with me for 17 years, was diagnosed with chronic kidney failure and her imminent death became very real to me. I think somehow I had assumed that she would live with me forever. But the truth revealed itself.
In between having to change her diaper several times a day, sticking a needle in her every day and administering at-home dialysis treatments to flush out her kidneys while desperately trying to get her to eat and grieving the imminent loss of one of the great loves of my life, I also had the biggest launch of my entire business (Impact™).
I invested all of my savings into it (and went into some debt too) making sure we could help as many people as possible with the Impact™ Video Series. I had several nights of waking up in a panic, realizing my entire safety net was gone, and was forced to surrender and trust in the voice of my Soul telling me to do this.
And as what usually happens when you serve more people and cast a wider net, we got some of the most horrible hate emails and comments that we have ever gotten in the last 5 years of my business. Even though I have always had a tough skin when it comes to that, I’m human and my rawness over my dog slowly dying, softened some of my shields and some of the comments really hurt me.
I had to let go of several people who had been part of my life intimately for many years, but who were no longer growing with me and were more interested in staying in their old stories of projection, separation, jealousy and competition than trying to break through and connect, heart to heart. I grieved that too. And grieved for them, unable to move past their old stories and choose true, authentic connection and love.
Several people I have supported for years and given so much of my heart and time to, turned against me as they clumsily started to find their own leadership. I felt like I was caught in a real life version of Mean Girls. It sucked.
I realized it was time to cut one of my most beloved programs (and the main source of my income for the past 3 years). Another scary decision.
And I had to send a cease and desist letter to someone who was using copyrighted phrases of mine and passing off my intellectual property as her own ideas.
The amount of projection, negativity and contraction I have been experiencing in the past 2 months has felt like an onslaught of attacks. The amount of grieving I’ve had to do was more than I’ve done in many years. I usually wake up full of sunlight and excitement to start the day. Most days in the past 2 months have felt like a cloud was over my head and I had to work the tools I teach like never before. (Thank God for the tools!)
To say the past 2 months have been rough would be an understatement.
Now, I’m not sharing this with you because I’m feeling sorry for myself.
I’m sharing this with you because I don’t think this is happening just to me.
We are living through some very contracted times.
Everyone, everyone around me–clients, colleagues, family members, friends…
are ALL sending me messages that amount to a huge collective “WTF is happening??”
And when my inner Seer taps into the collective, it feels like we are in a pressure cooker.
Industries are collapsing.
The old paradigms are dying.
The ways we used to do things aren’t working.
We are letting go of things that no longer serve us.
We are dealing with feelings of disappointment and hurt.
We are dealing with betrayal.
All of our fears are coming up.
We are letting go of people.
We are feeling exhausted and in some cases burned out.
We are questioning things we have put years of blood, sweat and tears into.
We are questioning things like our very purpose.
Things that used to feel right, don’t feel right anymore.
We feel irritated, hurt, emotional, doubtful or withdrawn more than usual.
Things we invested in to help us break-through didn’t pan out and we’re angry
with ourselves for having made bad decisions.
Clients and colleagues alike have messaged me telling me, “I don’t know what is happening? The traditional things I do to market my work are no longer working. I only got half of the people I was hoping to get for this program. What am I going to do?” or “I suddenly feel like I want to change the entire message of my business, what I’m doing feels like an itchy sweater now. Will I lose all of my clients?”
I get it.
I’ve been going through the exact same stuff.
And today, I want to help you find the beauty in it.
I want to offer you words that will soothe your soul.
And I write for you, what I need to hear myself.
We are all in this together.
A few weeks ago, I released a Seer Transmission video, in which I talked about how we are currently entering into a time of the Great Mother archetype.
The characteristics of the Great Mother archetype are:
Emptiness, Nurturing (Self and Others), Surrender, Renewal and Sanctuary.
And the shadows of the Great Mother archetype are:
Self-absorption, addictions to avoid emptiness, over-responsibility, codependency,
not valuing one’s truth, scarcity beliefs, limitations, feeling “not enough”, self-sabotage and resistance.
What does this mean?
We are being asked to enter into an alchemy that is deep.
We’ve been asked to enter into this alchemical transformation for years.
And if we have not begun that journey yet, due to fear and resistance, now is the time
where we cannot resist it any longer. This is the time where we are forced to change,
whether we like it or not.
The Great Mother asks us to empty ourselves of all that is no longer aligned.
Surrender everything that no longer serves.
Purge the things that hold us back from living our true calling on this planet.
She asks us to give birth to the truth of who we are.
To trust and surrender in the deep, unconditional love of the Universe so much that we are willing to let go of our attachments to how “things should be” and instead be pure,
That means that anywhere where you have been playing small, caught in ego, addicted (physically, mentally, spiritually or emotionally), in denial, sabotaging, suppressing, self-limiting or resisting your deepest purpose….
anywhere you have suppressed your own truth & voice and replaced it with another’s,
overworking yourself to death, pushing when it’s not time to push…
it all has to go.
And yes, the things that used to work to make money living your purpose, things like–working until you’re exhausted, speaking in a voice that is not your own, following a template that isn’t you, berating yourself or staying in codependent relationships with friends and even clients…
they no longer work.
Literally–you try to do them and you don’t get the results you used to get.
The Universe will not tolerate it any longer, out of love for you.
Whether we like it or not–a paradigm shift has occurred.
It’s a paradigm where we are finally visible in our full truth.
Where we own the purpose we were put here to embody and live.
Where we honor and love ourselves deeply and protect the inner child within.
Where we grant ourselves the unconditional love of our own internal mother.
And anywhere you have resisted that shift, you are being majorly detoxed right now.
Getting into deep, deep alignment is not always an easy-breezy experience.
Letting go of old, deeply ingrained patterns and beliefs can be a very emotional journey.
Seeing certain things for the first time, and seeing the truth, is sometimes painful.
Being asked to finally stand up and be the protector and defender of yourself, instead of expecting other people to come in and save you, can create a temper tantrum in the most “evolved” individual.
But here is why it’s necessary.
Because breakdowns lead to breakthroughs.
It is one of the laws of the Universe.
All which contracts, ultimately expands.
The stars in our Universe, contract, then explode and birth new stars.
The Universe is literally always expanding (Einstein discovered that).
On the other side of this seeming grey cloud we have over us right now,
on the other side of this contraction, is the birth of your true calling.
You are a supernova, birthing new stars.
And if you look closely enough, you can see the glimmers of light through the darkness.
I’ll share mine with you:
Even though we got the most amount of hate mail we’ve ever gotten, the number of gratitude emails that came pouring in were much higher. In fact, in the past 2 months I have gotten some of the most beautiful emails of gratitude from this community than I have ever gotten.
While I detoxed a few friends that were no longer aligned, I also had some new friends step in and support me in ways I have never been supported before.
We doubled the size of our community with the Impact™ launch and that means we have more amazing people here to be in communion with and to support us.
And I have been the most creative I’ve ever been.
I can’t wait to show you the stuff that I’ve been creating, I am so excited.
And I have deep clarity on the new directions in which this business needs to go so that it can fulfill its mission of serving as many people as we can.
And life continues to move forward, the sun continues to rise, the waves in the ocean continue to roll onto the shore and we are being carried by the cosmos into the next wave of our evolution.
It’s true that anything that isn’t rooted in love, compassion, kindness and service is dying. The businesses and individuals that will make impact in the future understand this and also know how to give without self-depleting. They know it is no longer an option to sacrifice the self as a bargaining chip for more love and approval. They know how to create their calling from their own internal guidance and truth.
And that is who we are becoming.
So my charge to you is to feel it all.
Let it fall apart.
Let your internal mother hold you through it all (whether you are a man or woman).
Use this as an exercise in true trust and Surrender.
Use this as an opportunity to finally release everything that keeps you from stepping
forward, fully into the light. Alchemize this experience as an exercise in showing you how strong you truly are. What is within is resilient, can be leaned on and dependable.
For you are the Great Mother. You are empty presence itself.
And within this space we birth that which is true, aligned and holy.
So tell me, what have you been learning in these last two months and what are you doing to get through this rough time? Let me know in the comments below.