I'm writing you today's newsletter from a chalet in the mountains of Panama.
A few of my entrepreneur friends (Mike Hrostoski, Charmaine Haworth,
Samuel Hershberger) are here to join me for 10 days of co-habitating,
masterminding and adventuring in Panama.
This morning as I woke up to the sound of roosters announcing the break
of day and looked outside my window at beautiful mist-covered mountains,
I thought of you.
A few weeks ago I sent you an email asking what you most want to learn
from me and I was blown away by the response! I love how so many of you
stepped up to ask for what you desire.
This morning I woke up thinking about one of the top things most of you
wrote me about wanting to learn. And it's one of the biggest blockages
I see women coming up against when they are starting a business or
beginning a project that is aligned with their soul's calling.
Want to know what it is? Read on…
On Tuesday, Sam, Charmaine and I went to Trump Tower to have lunch
(see top left and bottom right pictures to see our gorgeous view!!)
and as we were sitting at our table with spectacular views of the sky and
the ocean, mouth-watering food full of flavor just bursting in our mouths
and heartily enjoying each other's company, I was so overcome with an
overwhelming feeling of gratitude over the fact that this is actually
my life now.
I actually had to say it out loud to them, the feeling was so large.
I told them "you know, if you really think about where we all were just a
few years ago, and you think about the fact that we are sitting here in the
middle of the work day having a long leisurely lunch in this beautiful place,
and that we have built the ability to do things like this into our lives,
it's pretty amazing. I feel so so freakin' grateful right now".
They both looked at me and nodded in deep acknowledgment.
We had a brief moment of silence as that hit each one of us and
we each remembered where we'd come from.
Because, let me tell you, it was absolutely not
like this for me just a few years ago.
Just a few years ago, I was struggling horribly financially,
physically & emotionally as a woman trying to live her purpose
and make great money and positive impact while doing so.
I had recently been laid off my soul-sucking corporate job and was
living in a tiny one room studio with only one window, next to chain-smoking,
alcoholic neighbors who would fight loudly all day long.
Sometimes they would start fighting in the middle of me teaching a teleclass
and I would have to lock myself in my tiny bathroom and teach the class
from there so that the 20 people on the call wouldn't hear them while I
I was barely making $1500/month, was going deep into debt because
that money barely covered my rent, utilities and food and was working
12 hour days.
I gained 40 pounds from the stress-eating and often felt like I was going
to have a breakdown trying to make this thing happen.
Worst of all, I was majorly self-sabotaging my business,
especially in the area of money.
Have you ever gotten to the end of a conversation with a potential client
and when you have to tell them what your prices are, you get a tight
knot in your throat, feel like your hands are cold and clammy and just
want to hang up and forget it altogether?
Do you ever feel like people will get mad at you for charging the prices
deep down you know you deserve, so you get scared and quote them a
much lower price than what you were supposed to quote?
Or do you just have overall guilt about charging money at all?
(A lot of healers or coaches who work in the spiritual realm suffer from
this, because there is an old paradigm that healers should work for free).
Well I had all of those fears. Every single one.
I remember my first strategy session with a client.
I thought I was going to pass out when it came to the part where I
let her know what it would cost to work with me. I was shaking and
I almost lost my voice when we got to the money part.
Needless to say, she did not sign up to work with me.
I was so embarassed.
The problem is, most people are uncomfortable talking about money,
so when the person is on the other end of the phone, waiting for you to
tell them about the investment they will need to make to work with you,
if you start freaking out and getting uncomfortable too, it makes them feel
even MORE uncomfortable.
Then instead of holding a powerful space for your potential client and
creating that breakthrough you long to help them with, you are creating
a totally awkward situation for both of you.
That's when we end up discounting prices or undercharging.
Your prospective client may not know you are feeling awkward around
the money conversation but believe me, they can FEEL it.
Usually this makes them energetically contract and pull away from
working with you.
Then you hang up the phone and feel frustrated with yourself.
The thought enters your mind that you might as well give up,
because this fear of charging feels so insurmountable, there's no way
you'll be able to live our purpose.
Or worst of all, often in a session with a woman I'm working with, we will
uncover, much to their surprise, that they are actually subconsciously
sabotaging their ability to get potential clients because they are
absolutely terrified knowing that they will have to talk about money at
the end of the conversation.
Ever felt this way?
I know I did, for a very long time.
It kept me small.
It kept me undercharging.
And it did eventually lead to a big breakdown for me physically &
emotionally that made me almost shut down my business for good.
Because we cannot keep putting our heart and soul into something
and giving and giving and giving, when there is no value exchange
being created. Meaning, when someone pays you, they are energetically
valuing your time, effort & heart that you put into helping them.
But if we're feeling shame or guilt around asking for money for our
services, we're creating an off-balance value exchange, which depletes us.
And everything, everything changed for me after I had that breakdown
and looked at some of those beliefs and fears that were keeping me
from charging what I knew I was worth, but afraid to ask for.
Since many of you ask, that's how I ended up in a life where I can go to
Trump Tower for a 3 hour lunch in the middle of the day and have
great soulful conversations with people who are in a wonderful tribe
that supports me and wants to see me succeed.
It required, and still requires, constant dedication to facing fears and
limiting beliefs, and getting the help I need when I can't quite figure it
all out by myself.
So today, I want to invite you into looking within and asking yourself,
"what are the hidden limiting beliefs I'm holding onto that are keeping
me from charging the prices I know I am worth, or even charging at all?"
Write them down and take a look.
Because the minute you let those negative beliefs around money go and
start owning your worth, everything will change.
I am living proof.
With profound devotion,
Life Detox for women on the edge of liberation
ps: I'll be teaching a no cost teleclass in just a few weeks, where I will
tell the whole story of my entrepreneurial breakdown and we'll talk about
how to begin to release some of these limiting beliefs and fears around money.
Keep an eye on your inbox, the invite will be coming any day now.
pps: I listen to this song all the time for motivation and to remind me of how
far I've come. Here's a link to it for extra motivation while you're writing down
your money beliefs list today.