Fair warning. This is a passionate rant.
It’s a rant about a big shadow I see in our world around money, worthiness, valuing our innate and unique talents and how we allow old paradigms about “value” to make us feel small, powerless and ultimately hide out.
And it all started with a client call that I had last week.
She called me up crying. I feel so demoralized. It’s like my worst fears coming true in one conversation.
I was on the phone with a client and she had just had a call with a potential customer.
My client’s work is really, really powerful. She does deep, heart-healing work that allows women to call their power back and as a result they end up creating amazing lives. I’ve seen her client testimonials. I’ve seen the power of what she does. It’s good stuff. She is truly a cutting edge leader in her field.
But she was feeling totally worthless. Like she’d never get to step into the vision she had for her work to reach and help many people. All because of this one little conversation.
What the heck happened, I thought to myself. Then it all came spilling out.
During the session with her potential client, as she covered what their work together might look like and what it could help her potential client achieve, the potential client interrupted her.
So, am I going to make a lot of money doing this? How do I know I will get my investment back by investing in this program with you?, the potential client quizzed.
My client tried to clarify, well the work I do isn’t focused on making you more money. The work I do is more focused on looking at the ways in which you don’t empower yourself to create the things you really want in your life. That might include money, but that’s not the ultimate goal. The work is deeper than that. We’re working more on changing deep-seated dynamics that might sabotage you in all areas of your life.
The client interrupted again and said oh. Well I’m looking more for a coach who is going to give me a strategy and a step by step plan on how I can make six figures in my business this year, so I won’t be choosing to move forward with you. I don’t have time to do that work, I need to focus on getting to six figures first.
And then she promptly hung up.
Here’s what I felt hearing this story from my amazing client…and here’s what I still feel about this, because there’s a dynamic here that is everywhere and that hardly anyone actually calls out and talks about. It’s a shadow we all carry.
I feel sad when I hear someone say or think that the only truly valuable investment in yourself is one where you get money back from it or that will generate more money. I feel sad when we think that the only results worth investing in, are the tangible ones.
These days I notice a shadow in the world and in our community–a fear that says that if what you feel called to offer the world doesn’t guarantee some tangible thing like “six figures” or “a business model in 5 minutes”, then no one will want it.
I get this fear on a visceral level because it’s a fear I had to really grapple with in the last 6 years. It’s a fear that finally brought me to my knees so that I could finally release it once and for all. I suspect I was forced to deal with this fear so that I could assist my community in moving through it as well.
This fear that the only services or work people are interested in paying for is the one that will guarantee them more money or tangible results like “six figures in six months” or “your entire business plan in 30 seconds” is creating something awful.
This fear is creating an entire group of coaches, creatives, business owners and service providers that all look and sound the same. It’s causing people to deny their true gifts (which may not always be to provide a “tangible” result) and create businesses or offerings that are not actually aligned with their souls.
Haven’t you noticed how many ads on social media and on the internet are starting to sound the same? I was in this place a few months ago. Now I’m making sh&t tons of money 6 months later. You can do it too! Just follow my 6 step template for success!
Where are all the services that help you dive deep? That hold space for you to unravel? That allow you to explore the artist within? That take you on a nude body painting adventure that shifts your deepest beliefs? That allow you to put on fairy wings and frolic in the woods so that you can get in touch with your inner child and as a result have a closer relationship with your kid?
Where is the creativity? The uniqueness of each one of our souls expressed in a gorgeous offering from the heart?
A lot of it is being hidden behind a false framework that we think we have to fit into in order to “make money” and survive. It’s hidden behind cookie-cutter offerings that we think we have to create so that people will be interested in what we have to offer.
And the worst part is, we then equate our success with our worthiness.
In this old patriarchal paradigm, where only the tangible is worthy, if we create something from our deepest heart that provides powerful intangible results and no one buys it or seems interested in it, then that must mean we suck and we are not worthy because we didn’t do it the way everyone else is doing it. So we have a whole generation of soul-driven creatives hiding their true soul’s work behind a bunch of BS that is not really reflective of who they really are because they are “afraid they can’t make money doing that”.
It makes me sad that there are still people out there stuck in the mind frame that basically says if you invest x amount of money you should get that x amount of money back. Because there are things in this life, intangible results, that are far, far more important than getting a monetary return.
If you finish something you invested in, markedly more confident, happy, healthy & in tune with your truth, to me that is so much more valuable than getting your investment back within x amount of months or that you made six figures.
You can have six figures and be miserable, totally out of alignment and be plagued by insecurity. You can make a ton of money but if you haven’t done interior work that produces INTANGIBLE results, you could blow it all because you don’t feel worthy of keeping that money. You can have tons of money but your relationships are falling apart, you feel lonely & you secretly hate your life.
So many people come to me, holding back on their deepest purpose, afraid that the work they feel called to do “can’t make them money” because they can’t say that “you will make tons of money and become famous” from those services.
And so many people invest in programs that could transform them to their core, but they don’t allow the transformation because all they are looking for is whether or not they made their money back.
It’s our patriarchal culture (that is dying) that says that the only things that are of value are the ones that have a dollar sign or a tangible structured result attached to them. As a result so many people have warped their truest passion to fit into this totally imbalanced paradigm.
And so many people investing in these services never get to the root of what could really actually help them create better results in their lives.
I believe that being fully aligned with your soul, becoming a truly sovereign being, having interior peace, feeling confident in who you are and having the confidence and love for self so that you are not holding back any part of your self expression…these things are INFINITELY more valuable than you getting your money back or making tons of money or becoming internet famous.
It’s why I have removed a lot of references in my marketing materials in the past year and a half that may trigger that in people–I’ve removed the claim that you’ll make this amount if you do this work etc… I only use it in places where I feel it’s appropriate. For example, sometimes, my clients DO end up manifesting more abundance and expanding their careers or businesses because they have done the soul work to clear out limiting beliefs that could have been blocking that abundance.
But sometimes I work with a woman who finally finds the courage to follow her soul and literally decides to shut down her business for good and release all the money she was making in that business to start something new. And she is happy as hell and believes it was the best decision she could have ever made.
I want you to think about the people you admire and look up to the most. The people who are your role models. If you really look at them, what you’ll find is that they are “successful” in your eyes, not because of how much money they made or how famous they are. What you’ll most likely notice about them is that they are “successful” because they followed the tune of their soul and did what was true for them. They did it their way.
Yet we still think that we have to be like someone other than ourselves in order to interest people in our great work.
My love, what you have to do is fall in love with being yourself. Stick to your guns. Offer what your SOUL feels called to offer. And stop feeding the machine that says only the tangible matters, by letting your ego only let you invest in things that promise you tangible results. Experiment with investing in something totally intangible and see what happens.
Maybe it’s time we switch our perspective and begin to understand what true VALUE is. Maybe it’s time we realize that our worth is not tied up in how much money we make or how many people like our fb posts or how much traffic we get to our website. Maybe it’s time we realize that our worth is inherent and that investing in things that grow us and bring us back to our inherent wholeness are inherently more important “results” to get, than just a dollar amount.
You and your life are so much more than a blueprint, template or dollar amount.
Do you have this fear? How did this post help you with that fear? I’d love to know in the comments below.