Twenty minutes into our call, she burst out crying.
Deep, heavy sobs. The kind of sobs that denote a deep catharsis or release of a frustration that has been pent up for a long, long time.
At first I was a little stunned, I wasn’t sure if something I had said had upset her or if I had royally messed up with what I had just shared and worked through with her.
But she broke the silence in between the sobs by saying “Lisa, I’m crying because I have literally spent thousands of dollars trying to resolve this and have spent two years feeling completely lost as experts bombard me with templates and tactics…
[more sobbing and deep breaths]
and this is the first time I feel like someone has actually listened to me and helped me listen in on what my soul wants to do in my business and what is actually, truly aligned for me! We’re only 15 minutes in and I’ve finally gotten the clarity that I’ve been seeking for years.”
I honestly couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
Listen, I might piss some people off with what I’m about to say, but it’s a pattern that has become so prevalent, that I feel it’s worth mentioning.
Time and time again, in the last 5 years, I have had business owners come to me telling me they worked with someone who pushed them into a template or blueprint, pushed them into a niche, or pushed them into a business model that didn’t feel right for them.
This was the blueprint that had worked for that expert
This was the expert’s proven success model.
They then end up spending a ton of money on graphic designers, website, systems and a team, built up around the business model & message they had been pushed into… and it’s usually a business model and message that is totally out of alignment with them.
By the time I meet them, they have spent a few years struggling in their business. Not making enough money, not attracting enough clients, feeling weird about marketing themselves in general, feeling confused about what to share with their potential clients, riddled with self-doubt and desperately craving clarity and alignment but not knowing where and how to get it.
Or they’ve created a business that made a lot of money, but they are burned out, exhausted, miserable inside and want to shut down their business and walk away from everything. There is something “missing” in their business and a large part of them feels suppressed and unexpressed.
And almost every time in our first few sessions they tell me…
“Lisa, you’re the first person who has actually listened to me in years, instead of pushing some proven system on me without asking me what I think, feel and want first.”
To be honest, this ticks me off and makes me kind of sad.
Why do I keep hearing this over and over again?
I’m certainly not arrogant enough to think I’m the only one telling people to listen to their intuition when they are making decisions in their life and business.
But the barrage of comments like this from my community in the last five years leads me to believe that there are few who do. And I really, really don’t want to believe that.
Now let me be clear–I truly don’t think that the business strategist or coach who was previously helping my clients with those blueprints and strategies actually meant any harm. I think there are people out there who have systems that worked really well for them and that can work really well for a lot of people who work with them, if they happen to be aligned with that same system for success.
But that doesn’t mean it will work really well for every single person.
Businesses and people’s purposes are not one size fits all–they are living, breathing, mutable entities.
And secondly, it boggles my mind how many experts push entire success systems and models on their clients, without ever stopping to address the soul level matters that have to be addressed first before you can build a truly successful, fulfilling & aligned business.
To go along with that point, it baffles me how many of us business owners so easily abdicate the authority of our own soul’s voice, and allow a business model & message that is out of alignment, to be thrust upon us…and just “do as we’re told” without saying “hey this doesn’t feel quite right to me!”, so that the person who is helping us can say “okay, let’s pivot and see what will feel right to you”.
Furthermore, I still get super frustrated when I see business owners actually think they can “skyrocket to success” by skipping the deep soul work that is needed to have a long-term sustainable & successful business.
Strategy, blueprints, systems & flashy promises of “it girl/it guy status” get placed above soul alignment. We think that there is actually a one size fits all template that will get us the results we want, that will be the “easy pill” we get to take to solve all of our problems. The ego loves that stuff.
So we fall for the “quick fix” hook, line and sinker…and before we know it, we’re sitting on a heap of confusion, mis-alignment and misery and we don’t know why we’re not getting the results we want in our business, why we feel more confused than ever and why we feel deeply unhappy in what we’ve spent all that time, money & energy to build.
Here’s the straight truth.
You can have the most elite coaches, the best programs, the most popular books…but if you have not looked within to address the soul matters within BEFORE or WHILE you start using all those systems and strategies…
none of those things will work. Period.
If you haven’t done the work to find out what it is that you want to do, what is actually aligned for you, what your true calling is…
then all you’ll be doing is superimposing other people’s systems onto your calling. That’s like trying someone else’s custom fit clothes on your frame and expecting them to look as fabulous on you as on them.
And listen, if there’s one thing I know about you–you’re not a cookie cutter model of someone else’s template or blueprint.
And yes, some of those blueprints and templates can generate a lot of money–I’m not bashing systems & models for good business. But at the same time, what makes your business a long term success has much more to do with the unique expression of your essence/self shining through in everything you do.
That’s what makes your business “stand out” as a unique brand.
A “proven system” without you, fully aligned in your message, in it, is just a system. It’s robotic. There’s no soul.
And if you were just in this to create a robotic system for the money, you wouldn’t have found your way over to me anyway. This I know.
Running your own business is a spiritual process.
All of your shit* comes up when you run your own business.
*Shit = limiting beliefs.
Beliefs that say:
“am I good enough to put myself out there?”
“Does anyone actually care what I have to say?”
“Am I worthy of success and financial abundance?”
“No one really wants to pay for what I REALLY want to do”
“Do I really have what it takes?”
“She’s doing it so much better than me, so why try?”
These voices will be LOUD every time you try to move forward.
They will sabotage you, keep you stuck, foggy-headed and confused.
They will keep you from moving forward, because we ALL hit ceilings as we sprint forward in our personal growth, no matter what level we are at in our businesses (and owning a business is one of the biggest personal growth accelerators that exist!).
And owning your own business is like being on a roller coaster–some months you’re coasting along, some months you’ve got tons of money, some months you’re freaking out wondering how you’re going to pay your team…
and as your business grows, as your visibility increases, you will have to deal with all of the trappings that come as an influencer and leader in your field.
So if you haven’t taken care of the internal, non-tangible, spiritual aspects of being a business owner, if you haven’t learned how to not let your limiting beliefs sabotage you, if you haven’t learned to not let your emotions make you suffer as you navigate the ups and downs of business ownership…
well, then, to put it plainly, you will not survive.
And no system, blueprint, “proven success template” or strategy addresses THAT.
A “proven success system” in a one size fits all template doesn’t stop to ask you what YOU want.
It doesn’t teach you how to dive deep to access the voice of your Soul and listen to your soul’s instructions on what your purpose truly is in this world and how that looks when it’s merged with your business message & model.
It doesn’t sit with you, dig deep and pull out the threads of your purpose so you can weave them into a beautiful web that expresses your unique art in the world.
A template doesn’t teach you how to work with the limiting beliefs that will come up as you proceed in your business & hold you back from living your purpose.
Yet, time and time again, I see business owners picking strategies and templates and superimposing them on their businesses, before doing the soul work that will actually allow them to apply those templates in a way that is unique to them and that helps them build a business that is truly soul-aligned and fulfilling (and wildly successful too!)
I think this is one of the biggest problems I see in the world of entrepreneurship and owning a business. The placing of strategy above soul.
The obsession with getting to six or seven figures fast or becoming a celebrity coach spawns a variety of quick fix offerings that don’t actually stop to ask you first, what is true for you and what is it that you are truly called to create.
And we allow that obsession to take over what our Soul wants and forget to check in with ourselves before we spend thousands of dollars on getting famous overnight in our businesses or whatever other impossible promise we have invested in.
And for those of us who are guides for other business owners in the process, I think it’s time we stop and ask ourselves–are we serving our clients when we are pushing a system on our clients without asking them what they truly desire?
Are we taking the time to ask them what they want?
Are we helping them tap into their OWN intuition and soul’s purpose or at least guiding them to something/someone that will before they begin to use templates & blueprints?
Are we checking in to see if their limiting beliefs are handled before we push them into another “proven system” that has worked for us?
I think if we are truly here to give our clients value and to create transformation, we’ve got to be asking these questions of our clients, before asking them to spend thousands of dollars on programs that they will not be able to implement because they have not done the work of connecting with their soul’s voice & clearing the limiting beliefs that will sabotage their ability to succeed with the systems we teach them.
I for one, am tired of seeing us all–coaches and coachees, business owners & customers, shortchange ourselves by constantly choosing the mindless plug and play system as a priority over the voice of our Soul.
That’s what has created so much of the burnout and disillusionment I’ve been seeing lately in our industry. So many people are feeling it right now.
In the end, do we want to build/help people build legacies?
Or do we want to sell them some quick fix solution that might help temporarily, but in the end leave them feeling more confused and out of alignment than ever before?
Are we here just to collect people’s money?
Or are we here to truly serve them by making sure they have the things in place first, that will set them up for success (the non-tangibles like soul-work & working with limiting beliefs).
I’d love to know in the comments below if you’ve ever placed strategy above soul and what the results were, or if you’ve recently decided to start placing soul over strategy & seen any difference in the results you’ve wanted?
ps: This discovery I had many years ago in my business led me to an aha that caused me to create something a few years ago to address this issue of trying to run before we learn to walk.
If you want to build a soul aligned business that makes money and impact, then I want to invite you to my free video training series “Impact”.
Over the course of 3, complimentary videos, we will cover:
- how to clear our limiting beliefs
- how to get over money blockages that block prosperity
- how to create a soul aligned system for your business that fits your unique personality & essence.
And, I’ll be offering the most engaged participant in the series a full-ride scholarship to my most ground-breaking, most celebrated program for soul-centered business owners, Impact™ (valued at $997).
We start on Thursday September 10th.
Sign up today so you get notified as soon as we open up the first video in the series!
I can’t wait to see you there!