Six years ago, my long-time dog, Lucy, passed away. I was so devastated that it took me a while to be “ready” to adopt another dog. Two years ago, I adopted new dogs, Luna and Sadie, from my local shelter.
I only planned to adopt one dog, but when I saw Luna and Sadie on the rescue site, I just “knew” they were mine.
My ego/brain thought, “You’re a busy person. How are you going to take care of two when you only have time to care for one?!” But, over the years, I learned that when I “know” something, I trust it.
Even if my ego tells me, “this is too wild!”
I remember vividly the day Sadie and Luna came to my house from the rescue.
What I’m about to tell you may surprise you since I’ve never told “the public” this story before . . .
Instead of feeling excited when these two little fluff bundles arrived at my home, all I felt was dread and sick to my stomach.
When the rescue dropped them off, and they were shaking on my couch, I remember thinking, “Oh God, I’ve just made a huge mistake!”
My heart began to race, and I tried to connect with them.
The reality hit me. These two furballs will be DEPENDENT on me for a long time.
On top of my fears, they were very traumatized. They were so afraid of what was happening; they spent their first night sleeping directly on top of each other.
It took a week before they’d let me reach out my hand without them wincing.
They weren’t fully potty trained. Often, I found myself cleaning up messes in my busy workday, and eventually, I replaced every carpet in my house.
They didn’t know how to walk on leashes. They were terrified of men. Luna would projectile vomit all over my car anytime we went anywhere.
“What if I never formed a connection with them? What if I wouldn’t be able to handle it? What if this had just ruined my life?” I didn’t sleep well the first few days, and whatever excitement I had was eclipsed by anxiety and worry. My ego was in overdrive.
Not the “oh yay puppies!” story you usually hear when someone adopts a dog, right?
Now let’s bring this back to you.
I’m sure you’ve had a moment where you felt fully aligned with a decision you made and KNEW it was coming from your inner wisdom . . . but you freaked out and doubted it afterward.
This issue happened to my long-time client Marie. The first time she invested in my 1:1 program, she paid in full. The next day she texted me about how she woke up at 4:00 a.m. with a panic attack.
She KNEW this was the right decision to make—I don’t do “coercive tactics” in my intake sessions with potential clients. I have a process I walk everyone through to make SURE it’s a soul-aligned decision.
So why was she so anxious?
Last year a Capacity Shift™ member asked me, “how do I know when an investment is a smart, good one to make?” I thought it was an EXCELLENT question. And my answer applies to why I freaked out about Sadie and Luna, why my client was having panic attacks about her investment, and what invests a good one.
Here’s what I answered: In my personal experience, a good investment should change your identity. It brings you closer to being the next-level version of you you’re aspiring to be.
A good investment should change your identity. It brings you closer to being the next-level version of you you’re aspiring to be.
When I say “investment,” I don’t only mean the amount of money you invest. I also mean your energy and your time, which happen to be “currencies.” The way you invest in any currencies should bring you several steps closer to becoming your future self.
It shouldn’t feel “totally comfortable.”
In the future, you handle your future self’s money, time, and energy very differently than the current you. She might have a bigger vision, and she probably doesn’t have the same fears, limiting thoughts, and beliefs.
Often people ask, “how do I get from my current self to my future self?”
One of the ways to do this is to behave like the future self you want to become. Yeah, yeah, I know, EVERYONE in “self-help” says this. But it’s more nuanced than this, and I’m aware it’s not as easy as a soundbite on an Instagram page.
Your ego doesn’t like the unfamiliar and unknown—it likes only the known because at least it knows how to keep you safe and alive in the current reality. But your future self is an “unknown” person and reality for your ego.
The way she behaves, shows up, and invests her currencies isn’t how your ego works now. This process feels complicated, and it’s common to face resistance or self-sabotage, even when you already know what you need to do to get there.
For example, your future self creates more videos or speaks on more stages.
But right NOW, you keep freezing and not doing it. You beat yourself up, feel frustrated and wonder WHY you keep doing stalling.
Because your ego isn’t used to making more videos and speaking on more stages, the unknown and not normal behaviors are of “right now.
So your ego thinks making more videos and speaking on more stages is “dangerous” and creates resistance to “unknown” activities. It’s trying to protect you, which is good on one level, but it’s protecting you from the wrong things on another level.
Start engaging in behaviors that normalize, making more videos, and appearing on more stages.
Begin with baby steps, watch people do TEDx talks on YouTube. Or binge TikTok and IG reels to get ideas.
After this begins to feel normal, move on to writing down ideas for videos.
When this feels normal, move on to making a video just for you, and ask for feedback from people you trust. Before long, you’ll begin behaving like your future self, and your ego doesn’t feel “afraid” of it anymore.
Making more videos and speaking on stages will feel less “scary” because it’s now part of your reality. After all, you immerse yourself in it in a variety of small ways.
This investment is an excellent way to help you change your identity.
Since these investments normalize your body and brain, the minor actions you take won’t resist behaving like your future self. Because it will be “normal” to act like her instead of “unknown.”
Resistance is often a result of not having “normal” future actions in your body and mind, which will lead to your higher-capacity self.
One of the most inspiring examples of this was my former client Lynne. She wanted to invest in a program I was offering, but the money wasn’t in her account. She told me, “give me 48 hours to come up with it, I’m going to do this,” and she came back to me in 24 hours with the total amount!!
As she put her deposit down, she told me, “Wow! Just coming up with the money was transformational. I never saw myself as a person who could come up with that kind of money, and giving myself the challenge turned me into the person who’s capable of raising that amount of money quickly!”
The investment grew her capacity to match her future self’s in ONE day.
It totally changed how she showed up and what she charged.
In the months after, Lynne went on to sign several $65,000 deals. She went from charging $3000 per client to signing corporate contracts worth $65,000 and being flown all around the country to work with companies.
Because the minute she invested her edge, she became her future self.
She normalized her future self by behaving like her and became her. Then she grew her capacity. Her future self quickly asks for and RECEIVES $65,000 without question.
Every time I invest at my edge, I grow significantly in my capacity.
The extra pressure has lit a fire under my booty to create more. Or, if it’s energetic or time pressure, I tend to guard my time more efficiently because I know it’s an investment in the future.
So, what happened with Sadie and Luna? Well, I accepted my new “normal” and stuck with them. With the help of baby steps, my panic calmed, and I became the person who could handle caring for two very untrained and traumatized dogs.
Now, I can’t imagine them not being part of my everyday life.
And they’re the most affectionate well-adjusted dogs ever. Though, as you’ll notice in the photo below, they’re not very good “assistants” and slack off on the job a lot 😉
And what happened to my client, who was “freaking out” about her investment?
When her soul “yes” to investing at her edge, it changed her identity, and while she may have had to drag her ego kicking and screaming. By staying in the program, she began behaving like her future self, and it paid off.
Within a few months, her capacity grew so much that she launched a mastermind and negotiated a pay raise at work. These actions doubled her original investment and continued to pay off for years to come.
That’s the power of Capacity Work™.
It changes your identity. It helps you see what you’re actually capable of—which is much more than you realize.
And when you change the way you see yourself, what you can hold, handle, and receive exponentially grows. Ready to see this kind of growth for yourself?
Your future self would probably enroll in Capacity Shift™ to get those results.