the danger of humdrum limbo

I had a conversation last year with a potential client that broke my heart.  She had a business that was doing okay. But she knew it was time to go bigger.  To be seen by even more people. 

And yet, she had been three years in this stuck, humdrum kind of feeling about her business. That’s a long time to be feeling that way.  And it’s actually dangerous to allow yourself to stay stuck or in a repetitive pattern for that long.  

Why?

Because the longer you stay in that place of limbo, the more your confidence erodes. And the more your energy drains.  Over time you become complacent and you lose your faith that anything could ever change. 

You start to feel disillusioned and then you’re less inclined to actually get yourself out of that place into a place of greater expansion and joy. Then you settle for “decent”, instead of ecstatically great, which is what you deserve.

She was already in that place when I got on the phone with her.  But thankfully some tiny spark in her still urged her to reach out and speak to me.  As I dug deeper in our phone call, trying to get to the root of why she had been in this “blah” place for so long, a few things came to the surface.

First, she had actually signed up for some pretty high ticket masterminds to up her visibility and take her business to the next level.  But she hadn’t seen the results she really wanted. So she’d taken a leap of faith, spent a lot of money, and now felt disillusioned about investing in herself again because of those bad experiences.  

That was one thing that was keeping her stuck from moving forward: fear that she’d make the same mistake, investing in something that wouldn’t pan out, once again.

I hear this a lot from women.  By the time they find me, they’ve been wooed into investing a sh%t ton of money in fancy masterminds that promise the world, only to find that they haven’t gotten the big business or career breakthrough they were hoping for.  

If I had a dollar for every time I have heard “I’ve tried everything, nothing worked. You’re my last hope.” from a potential client…

So when she said that to me, my spidey senses perked up.  

Whenever a woman tells me she’s tried all the strategies and the brilliant business coaches and there’s just something that isn’t working for them, it’s always a capacity issue. Always.  

It doesn’t mean the mastermind you invested in previously with lacklustre results was bad or the coach/consultant was nefarious.  It’s just that most strategic/business masterminds or career coaches DON’T talk about THE most important thing you need to keep growing: capacity.  

(And FYI, one module on “mindset hacks” is NOT the same as working on your capacity).

So I asked her, “What do you suspect might be the ‘something’ that keeps holding you back and keeping you in this humdrum place?”

This is when it really got interesting.

“Honestly, Lisa, I want to grow and be seen by even more people.  But whenever I look at all the business owners online who have the level of visibility I want, they all look the same.  They’re all bragging about their Jimmy Choos and their fancy bags. Or they’re all posing for photos in Parisian cafés. I don’t have any judgment about that, but that’s just not me.  

I feel like, in order to be more visible I have to become someone that I’m not.  I’m much more of a ‘let’s sit in a circle and be barefoot together, keeping it real kind of a person’.  I want to make lots of money, yes. But I don’t care about fancy shoes and yacht trips. I want to invest that money into social causes or back into helping other women with businesses. And I see very few models of visible women out there who are wealthy AND who look like me.”

She thought that in order to make more money and she had to be an avatar of someone she wasn’t and hide who she really was because “wealthy people don’t look/behave like me”.  

So, of course, she was sabotaging visibility opportunities left and right, even when she was working with some of the best strategists out there.  Why would her subconscious want more visibility if she had to be a fake version of herself? This is the thing that every mastermind and business coach she invested in failed to see.  And it had gone undetected for three years.

Have you ever felt that way?  SO many womxn have a similar story.  And if you’ve felt any variation of this, this is a visibility capacity issue.

I want to tell you, from personal experience, that you don’t have to “be” what you think “wealthy womxn look like”.  You just have to allow yourself to be fully seen.  You can be wealthy AND let yourself be fully seen. They are not contradictory. 

Sure, will some people who have their own ideas of “what wealthy looks like” judge you and not want to work with you if you don’t look like their idea of wealth?  Yes.  

But when you have visibility capacity, you don’t give a f%&k.  You show the world a different face of wealth and as a result, you’re going to be much more financially successful than the person who is hiding behind some outdated avatar of wealth.  

The places where you’re hiding who you are underneath some idea of what you’re supposed to be are the places where you are leaving mountains of money on the table.

While I love me some fancy clothes and a business class seat, I’ve also never been one to be into the designer bags and Manolo’s.  There’s NOTHING wrong with that if you love it. I just like to invest my money in other things. Like the herbalism apprentice program, I just spent all weekend “in the field” for, hand-harvesting herbs and making teas and tinctures from.

I feel wealthiest and sexiest when I’m coming back from being on a hike, mouth full of herby flavors from things I foraged, oat straw all in my wild, windblown hair. I’m not wearing a ball gown.  I’m in sneakers, ripped up jeans and I’m a little sweaty. Yet, I’m a wealthy womxn. Doing this makes me feel wealthy and in turn, allows me to be more visible and make more money.

One of my favorite millionaires, I met in business class on my way from Los Angeles to San Francisco.  He was wearing a plain white Hanes t-shirt, Walmart jeans, and simple sneakers. He complimented my handmade Panama Guna Yala tribe shoes (that cost me $12 at the public market in Panama City).  We talked the entire flight, during which I found out he was a multi-millionaire CEO of a very successful supplement company. 

My point is: you can be super successful financially and not live in a fancy high rise apartment in Manhattan. You can be famous for your work and not own a single pair of Jimmy Choos (but maybe you make a nice stream of income from real estate you invested your money in, instead). You can have a multi-million dollar business and not have the perfect “girl in a Paris cafe” photos on your Instagram account. Hell, some of the millionaires I know don’t even HAVE social media accounts OR snazzy websites.  Performing wealth is not the same as having and embodying it.

Your success and visibility can look however YOU want it to look like. And being able to OWN that, without putting “what the world expects to see of a wealthy person” as an expectation on yourself that holds you back is true capacity and freedom.

Consider that, perhaps the reason you’ve not gotten the results you wanted yet, or the reason you’ve been feeling a little stuck is NOT that you don’t have the right strategy.  You might be subconsciously hiding or holding back because you’re afraid to let yourself be FULLY SEEN.

You can be visible HOWEVER YOU WANT. Manolos and Gucci not required. 

That’s Visibility Capacity.

 

Ps: If you know something is holding YOU back from being fully seen in your work, I’ve JUST opened up a rare opportunity to retreat with me virtually.  The virtual Visibility Capacity retreat is focused ENTIRELY on expanding your visibility capacity, helping you identify what YOUR particular visibility capacity issue might be and how to EXPAND that capacity so you can get to your next level visibly and financially. 

If you want the details, email support@lisafabrega.com and we’ll send you the info.  Heads up, we are about 50% sold out already, so this is one you’ll want to take fast action on.  

I’ve made this one super affordable because visibility capacity is a big issue affecting womxn in all levels of career or business.  I know there are lots of you out there who are curious about capacity and want to get a taste of what it’s like to work with me before you go further.  This is an excellent way to do that and see if capacity work is for you before you dive in deeper in another one of my programs.

 


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