Yesterday I moved everything I own across the country to a place I have never visited, knew nothing about and into a home whose inhabitants I’d be meeting for the first time.
This morning I woke up to the view above. This was a decision I’ve felt very private about, so when people found out last week that I was moving to Santa Barbara, California, they were all shocked and wanted to know how I made such a quick decision and why.
The truth is, because my soul told me to.
My ego has kicked and screamed all the way.
One of the number one things that you all tell me is that you struggle to differentiate between the voice of your soul and the voice of your ego. And even when you know it’s the voice of your soul telling you to do that thing you know you must do, it feels too frightening so you don’t do it.
I get it. I really do.
I just went through it myself. I have gone through it a million times. Otherwise I’d have no business talking about this here and claiming to be an expert on all things hearing your soul and aligning with your soul.
After I decided to move here the saga that unfolded through the battle between my ego and my soul was epic.
I get how hard it can be to do what your soul tells you because often your soul does not show you how it’s going to work out and all be okay. Your soul just says “do it. Now.”
The ego wants to know the plan, wants to see ahead of time how it will all turn out. It wants to know that it will be easy, that you will be able to afford it, that it won’t cause any discomfort.
But that’s just never going to happen.
I hate to be so blunt about it, but it’s true.
The soul requires us to deepen into values like trust, loving the unknown, surrender. The ego has a total shit-fit when it is asked to just “trust”.
And it can be so hard to say yes to your soul because all you have ever known is what you have now. You’ve only ever been the person that you are right now. You’ve never been the person that already said yes to the thing your soul is asking you to do. So it’s hard to see that you will be okay on the other side once you make the leap. I so, so get it.
Up until this morning, waking up in my new home, I felt doubt. I couldn’t see how it was all going to work out. I was nervous on my flights over here to the point where my stomach was upset all day while I was flying. I arrived in my new home and I couldn’t let the reality of it in fully.
My ego’s calculations couldn’t find the guarantee enough for me to feel totally comfortable with the decision.
But here’s something magical that your ego won’t tell you until you’re on the other side… Now that I’m here, on the other side of the leap, I STILL don’t have the guarantee, but something in me GETS it. Something on a soul level says, aha I get it, it’s going to be okay, no matter what. I’m here on the other side of the soul yes and I didn’t die.
The tricky thing is that, that feeling of reassurance we need? It doesn’t really come until AFTER you make the leap.
So, often, we say no to our soul’s desire and instructions. We say no to the soul and we give in to the fears of the ego, to its desires to be comfortable and stay the same.
But the result is a life that is always nagging at you because it is not fully lived or fulfilling.
I wish I could tell you that saying yes to your soul is a piece of cake. It’s not. It’s often destructive, fearful and uncomfortable. Often you will have to let parts of you with limitations die so that the parts of you that are here to shine can live.
But the reward on the other side is nothing that your ego can ever provide for you. Nothing that can be won through being safe all the time.
Creating a life that is a thing of beauty will never, ever be a game of safety and comfort.
In the comments below, I’d love to hear what resonated the most with you about my story!