So a few weeks ago, I met a man on Tinder.
If you don’t know what Tinder is, it’s a popular dating app.
I stayed away from it for a long time, because I heard
at first that it was only for random hookups…
and that’s just not my thing.
But then a few friends of mine met some awesome
people on Tinder and I decided to give it a try.
Let me tell you, it is addictive.
In fact, I’m quite convinced it is the most genius app
that has ever been invented. No matter where you
are, you can basically use location services on your
phone to find a date.
I mean that is pretty cool, isn’t it?
Taking matchmaking to a whole other level.
So a few weeks ago I “swiped right” for a man who
I found attractive. This means I approve of his profile.
If he swipes right for me too, that means he would like
to be matched with me too.
Lo and behold, he swiped right too, and we matched.
We quickly began to chat back and forth and became
fast friends. We each spoke at least three languages,
we found we had some things in common…
But he was a little slow to ask me out…
so by the time he asked to meet me, I had already left
to go from the city to the mountains, 6 hours away, for a month.
(Hey, you gotta be quick to catch me!)
“Okay, well I’ll just hop on a plane and come visit you then”.
“Well this will be a fun adventure”, I thought to myself,
“no man has ever flown across a country to come see me”
24 hours later he had booked his flight, his hotel room & rental car.
It was settled. I was getting excited and a little fluttery in anticipation.
nothing went the way I thought it would.
2 days later, he asked me if he could “bring a friend along”.
Um. that’s kind of lame.
Was he afraid of meeting me alone or something?
My ego wanted to go nuts and take offense.
But a little voice inside of me said “eh, just go with it”.
“Sure, sounds fun”, I said in response to him.
Then on the day of his arrival, we had made plans to have dinner.
An hour before dinner, he texts me to tell me he met this amazing
American tourist woman while he was white water rafting with his
friend and “can she come to dinner too?”.
Oh man, I felt my ego get prickly at that one.
“Wait, you were supposed to come meet me for dinner,
and suddenly you meet some random woman and want to
bring her to dinner with us? WTF?”, I thought to myself.
My inner queen was not happy.
And my attraction suddenly began to wane.
“This guy is not very smooth at all”, I thought.
“Either that or he is trying to “friendzone” me because he’s afraid.
Or because suddenly he’s really into this woman he just met.
And that’s not very attractive either…” I mused.
And yet I heard a voice in me say “hmm…what would happen
if you just went with this experience, just to see where it takes you?”
Even though he had planned to meet me at my hotel restaurant
for dinner, suddenly I found myself later that evening,
original dinner plans totally diverted, at a whole other restaurant
in town, an hour later, sitting at a table with Tinder man,
his friend and this lovely young American woman, who I had just
met 20 minutes ago, having a fabulous conversation.
This woman and I totally hit it off as friends, within 3 minutes of meeting,
so now I had a new friend I had never planned on making that night.
And the four of us, laughed, told jokes and discussed our
favorite movies over margaritas. And all in all, I had a great night.
A night I would not have had, had I gotten all angry, let
my ego direct the evening and stayed home pouting about
“what a jerk” this guy was being by totally changing up the plans.
(even though that was just one of the weirdest “dates” I have
ever gone on… in fact, I would not call that a date at all.)
Was it a match?
Turns out, I wasn’t really attracted to him.
He smokes like a chimney (dealbreaker for me)
and generally, I like a man who is more into me,
more attentive, and isn’t afraid to go on a date with me,
alone. (and not bring random women to our dinner date).
But I actually had a blast that night when I released
my expectations of what the night SHOULD look like
and just went with the flow of the evening.
And I ended up making a new friend.
Why am I telling you this story?
Well, think about it.
The world’s most successful entrepreneurs, visionaries
and thought leaders get to where they get because they are
willing to experiment, take risks and try new things…
Is there a “Tinder man” in your business that you keep
ignoring because you think things should be “this way”
and not “that way”?
Where in your business can you relax a little and surrender
more to the flow?
What would happen if you did surrender to the flow?
Would it really be all that bad?
What new thing might you discover?
What new experience might you have?
You don’t have to marry the “Tinder man” in your business.
You can try it out, see if you like it and if it doesn’t work,
send “him” love and keep on going.
But if you’re feeling stuck, feeling like you’re spinning your wheels…
starting to feel bored in your business or uninspired…
then perhaps its time you give a delightfully quirky,
chain-smoking French man a try, so to speak, when it comes
to your business…
You never know what you might discover.
And in the end, if you get nothing out of it,
you’ll know for sure what you don’t want to do
in your business.
But we only learn by sticking our necks out there,
opening up to new experiences and trying it out.
Not only did I make new friends by applying this philosophy,
but I also got much clearer on what I “do” want when it
comes to dating. And now I am even better at picking
the right guys for me on Tinder as a result.
Experimentation is the mother of innovation. Click to Tweet
In the comments below, I’d love to know what you plan
on experimenting with in your business (or life) this week.
I’m dying to know!