Loving the unknown & welcoming disintegration


lisa fabrega




I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately. In the last two weeks I’ve woken up three times, sweating and gasping for air, from nightmares where my father has died in a plane crash or my 18 month old nephew has drowned in a pool.

I am not usually one to be feeling anxious about things that are out of my control (like the great unknown that is death), so I was mystified by all of this low grade anxiety lately around the unknown things of life. And then, about two weeks into this, my soul spoke up and said get off all social media. Disconnect completely.

You know by now that the soul rules here in these parts, so I listened. I recorded a video that I posted to Facebook and Instagram and let everyone know I’m going silent. And I did.

I have been in a cocoon of death and the unknown since then. Large pieces of me are suddenly sloughing off and I am in a space where I know I am awaiting instruction because something big is being birthed, soon.

It’s been five days and already I have gotten so much out of it, I can’t wait to tell you everything I’ve learned when I come to the end of it. But in the meantime, I’ve been seeing my private clients and this theme emerged again…

Death. Our fear of the unknown. And how our fear of the unknown can keep us in a holding pattern for months and even years.

You see every deep transmutation of the soul is a process with three stages:

  1. Waking up to what is no longer in alignment with our soul & holding us back.
  2. Entering the cave of the unknown and letting those things disintegrate and die.
  3. Birthing and emergence of the new creation or self.

Neither aspect of this process is simple or a breeze. But most of us get stuck on #2, because let’s face it, most of us are terrified of the unknown, the things we can’t see.

We can feel that our soul is asking us to enter the unknown but we don’t trust it. We don’t like that we can’t see what lies on the other side or that there isn’t a guarantee that all will work out as we want it to.

But the truth is, the unknown is not a dangerous or scary place. If we can learn to transform our relationship with the unknown and learn how to welcome disintegration, then we are truly free. We can feel empowered and grow during the unknown stages of our life.

So I went deep within this week and recorded an audio with all of my thoughts on the frequency of death and how to love the unknown & welcome disintegration.

My soul doesn’t feel like writing while I’m in this cocoon this week, but it does feel like recording audios for you. So this is this week’s “blog post”.

Click the player below to  listen to this week’s transmission.

And when you’re done listening, I’d love to hear what resonated with you from this audio in the comments below.

With Love,