want to be happy? Be willfully ignorant.


lisa fabrega


Throughout my life, my friends have affectionately
called me “clueless”.

For example, when I first moved from Panama to Florida at the age
of 15, I was mistakenly held back a year by the nuns at my all-girls Catholic 
high school who thought a girl from a third world country must not have a 
very good education.  When they found out I was 3 years ahead in most of
my subjects, they scrambled to put me in all Advanced Placement classes.
When I arrived at my AP Physics class, the girl sitting behind me tapped me
on the shoulder and asked me what I was doing in this class.  I explained to
her that I had been put in the class because I was a little bit ahead of my subjects.  

She smiled at me wide as the Chesire Cat and asked, “where did you come from?”.  
I told her, “Panama”.  She looked me up and down and sweetly said, 
“well, just remember your roots.”.  Clueless as to what she meant,
I smiled at her and said “thanks”.

When I turned back around, I noticed everyone in the class was
looking at me with a horrified look.  
After class was over I found out that
this girl was a) supposedly the most “popular girl” in school and also b) the meanest.
Apparently, she was insulting me, implying that I came from a “backwards,
third-world country” and so I needed to “remember my place”.

I remember being totally shocked that this was what that girl had been implying.
I had no idea and had not interpreted what she said in that way at all!
How could I have missed that very obvious insult?
And guess what?
This is not the first time this has happened to me.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten much less “clueless”, 
(I can tell when I’m being insulted now.)
But you know what?

I could care less.

And I have found this to be one of my biggest secret weapons to
creating unshakable happiness and deep internal peace.

Let me explain further…

I was recently speaking with a client and fellow business owner about 
her experiences running her own business.  She has had a lot of
where people have betrayed her, taken advantage of
 & even has had people purposely
try to sabotage her success.

Are these experiences all in her head?  No.
She’s definitely had a lot of people do some pretty out-of-integrity things as she’s
tried to build her business,
 own her self-worth and charge more for the powerful,
life-changing work that she does in the world. (Part of our work together has been
all about getting her to own her worth.)

Recently, after experiencing yet another heartbreaking betrayal,
she called me up crying and asked me “do you think this situation is personal?”.
My answer to her was “does it matter?”.

Here’s the thing–very often we think that it’s important to “know” the “truth”
about whether we are being insulted or not, whether we are being betrayed or not,
whether that person is trustworthy or not.

We don’t just do it in business, we do it everywhere, all the time.

When we’re falling in love…
(is this person for real or are they just trying to sleep with me?)
Making new friends…
(can I trust this person with my deepest secrets?)
Having conversations with random strangers…
(why is this person being so nice to me? Hmm…)
or even checking out at the supermarket with the slightly sarcastic cashier
(is this how she is with every customer, or is she secretly bitter that she has to
work here and in return is making fun of me to get revenge?)

We think it’s really important to “know” if someone is trying to make a fool
out of us or whether or not they are purposely trying to hurt us.  
I’m asking you to consider if knowing this actually really matters at all.

The fact of the matter is that everything around us is a story.
Our brains only perceive a small percentage of what we actually see
and we can’t get into a person’s brain to read their minds and see why
they are seemingly acting like such a gigantic a-hole in that moment.
We can’t control any of that.

What we can control is how we feel.
And how we feel determines how we move through our lives.
It determines the energy that we radiate into the world and what
we radiate becomes what we end up attracting into our lives.

So, if you trust that everyone around you might be trying to deceive you,
guess what will happen?  Everyone around you will behave deceptively.
I don’t mean that you will just “perceive” these people as being deceptive.
No, I’m saying these people will actually BE deceptive with you.
Because people always rise to meet our expectations.
Expect them to deceive you, be in fear that they will deceive you, and they will.
Believe that everyone loves, adores & worships you, and they will.

So, if the story doesn’t make you feel good
why not choose the story and the feeling that feels best?

Neither story (this person is trying to screw me over vs. everyone loves me)
is more “true” than the other, because you get to create your reality.

If you want to be happy, choose to be willfully ignorant.
Because if you do that, no one can really hurt you.
You are untouchable if you are always choosing to believe everyone adores you.
No matter what they do.

Being willfully ignorant is also one of the best
creative-blockage busters of all time.

Think of the mental and emotional bandwidth that gets taken up
in your heart, body & mind when you are constantly in a state of
not trusting that everyone adores you until the end of time.
How can you create your best work, how can you do that which your soul
longs to do, how can you show up fully in the world, if you’re always worried
that someone is going to stab you in the back or hurt you? You can’t.
Whatever you create from that state will be a shell of what you’re truly capable of.

      {If you have a calling, if you have some beautiful work of art
within you that was put inside of you because it was meant
to be expressed in this world, take your focus off of the stuff
that doesn’t matter (like who’s trying to screw you over and
who isn’t) 
and instead use your whole body & Soul to love
the shit out of the world with your work.}

That’s the only thing you need to do, day in and day out.
Everything else is BS and distraction.

Assume everyone loves you and worships you, even if they do something
that blatantly defies that, right in front of your face.  (I do this all the time!)
Choose another story.
Because it’s ALL a story anyway.
And your purpose is to fully experience the lusciousness of life
so that you are fully alive while you’re living.

So get to it.

With profound devotion,
Lisa Fabrega
Life Detox for women on the edge of liberation

ps: I have the COOLEST, most INSPIRING stories to share with you, via video
in the coming weeks.  You are going to be blown away.  I am so excited!
Keep your eye on your Inbox 😉