Doing laser-focused, blockage-busting hot-seats during one of my 2013 Mastermind retreats.
Probably one of the most common things I hear from women
when they first come to work with me is the following phrase:
“I’ve read tons of personal development books, I’ve done yoga,
I’ve done meditation, I’ve done healing work, had therapists, took
the popular business/life coaching programs that many of my colleagues
are taking….I’ve spent thousands, even tens of thousands of dollars
and I STILL feel stuck and like there is a wall of fear and anxiety that
stops me from discovering my purpose and doing that thing that I
really feel called to do.
Lisa, nothing seems to be working. I feel like a total failure.
There is a wall of stuck-ness keeping me from putting what is in my
heart onto the page and out into the real world”.
Literally, I hear almost the exact phrase from almost every single
one of the thousands of women who I have ended up working with.
And I bet that as you are reading this, you probably feel or have felt
exactly the same way.
Stuck-ness comes up in many ways.
The top ways I see it come up are:
1. You feel foggy-headed/confused/lost as to what your real “purpose” is.
You might feel a calling, but you don’t know what it looks like or feel like
you can’t even hear that internal guidance that would lead you to your purpose.
You don’t know how to access that voice that will show you what your purpose is.
You’ve tried practically everything on the planet and maybe even had some
great adventures along the way, but you still don’t know your zone of genius.
2. You feel like there is a wall between you and what you want.
You may have an inkling about what you want to do, you may actually know
exactly what your purpose is, but every time you sit down to take one step
towards making that a reality, you feel a wall of anxiety, fear & overwhelm.
You either distract yourself with a thousand other meaningless things to do,
or you shut down with negative thoughts, tell yourself you can’t really do the
thing you really desire to do and never end up taking action towards your dreams.
3. You can’t see “how” it is possible to do what you feel called to do.
You probably see other women out there who seem to be rocking it at owning
their own business and following their calling. You compare yourself to them,
feel bad about yourself and then shut yourself down by telling yourself
“what’s the point? I can never have the energy, stamina, looks, personality
(or insert whatever word you want here) that she has, so that must mean I’ll
never be successful. There are other people out there already doing what I
want to do, so might as well forget it. Besides, what I want to do is so big and I
have so many financial limitations, time constraints and have no support group,
so I can see how it’s possible for me to do this all by myself. It will be too hard
and I can’t handle it.”
4. Your life seems perfect, but you still feel a nagging unrest in your core.
You look at your life and feel like you should be grateful for what you have,
things aren’t so bad, you have people who love you, a decent job, a nice house,
but there’s always that time of the day where you feel a hollow sort of longing
in your chest. A sense of unrest that there’s something else you’re meant to be
doing. You’re afraid to open up that Pandora’s box and see where it leads.
Identify with any of these?
Considering the massive response to my survey last week, asking you to let
me know what you’d most like to learn from me–I’d say you have at some point.
Now here’s the thing–if you feel this way, it’s imperative you understand
that there is nothing wrong with you for not knowing all of the answers or
for being in this place.
Everything about the world you live in has been set up to encourage
you to disconnect from the internal guidance that leads you to your
Whether it be the traditional schooling most of us receive, spiritual traditions
we were brought up in, over-protective family members & friends, the
encouragement of 80-hour work weeks and zero self-care time or simply our
primitive nature that fears dying if we go against the grain…
You’ve essentially been trained from day one, if you are like most people,
to disconnect from your purpose and instead follow the formulas that
others have assured you will be risk-free and “guaranteed”.
Formulas, action steps and cookie-cutter models are “safe” and “guaranteed”.
The truth is that NOTHING is a sure thing.
It used to be that becoming a doctor or a lawyer or having a 9-5 was a sure
thing that gave you stability and financial security. The world has changed.
Governments have fallen. Financial systems have toppled.
These paradigms no longer hold to be true.
(I don’t have an MBA, yet I run a very successful, purpose-driven, multi-six figure
business doing work that is highly creative, unconventional, powerful, that takes
me all over the world and that, in the old days, would probably get me
burned at the stake.)
Yet the biggest way I see people sabotaging themselves when they are
trying to find or live their calling, is that they become obsessed with getting
exact steps and formulas that will guarantee them the safety they need.
I hear this from people all the time “I bought that program because it
promised me the exact action steps I needed to take to make more money
in my business, yet I haven’t taken any of the action steps. I don’t know what
is wrong with me, Lisa!”.
So they keep buying program after program and accumulate millions of formulas
and action steps (I was totally guilty of this when I began my business by the way)
and yet they can’t figure out why they can’t IMPLEMENT all of the fabulous info
they have gathered.
If you read only one part of this email, read the below.
It is life-changing information.
The truth is, yes, action steps are CRUCIAL.
But there’s no way you’re going to take action steps if you’re weighed down with fear,
anxiety & overwhelm.
There’s no way you’re even going to be able to take one baby step towards
the successful business & life that you want, until you have gotten rid of the
wall of limiting beliefs that are keeping you from absorbing and implementing
all of those fabulous formulas/action steps in the first place.
Please read that paragraph above twice.
It is earth-shatteringly important for you to understand this once and for all.
Many programs that teach you how to find your purpose and build a successful,
heart-aligned, authentic business & life, are full of excellent formulas & action steps.
That’s totally important and that’s why in addition to helping my clients bust past
their wall of negative beliefs, we always also create a step-by-step action plan.
But many of these action step/formula heavy programs are not showing you how
to get rid of the mental, spiritual and emotional gunk that prevents you from TAKING
those steps in the first place.
Hence why you’ve read everything, done everything and still feel scared and stuck.
So if there’s one thing you can do today for yourself, it’s to sit down and write a list
of the top most negative beliefs you have and see how you can start flipping those
Now THAT, is a powerful action step you can take today, even if you have no idea
how your vision will work itself out. Just start with that.
With profound devotion,
Life detox for women on the edge of liberation
ps: If you want to learn HOW to start eliminating these negative beliefs that are
blocking you once and for all, make sure you don’t miss my emails in the next few
weeks. I’m teaching a no cost teleclass (that we co-created together based on
your survey answers last week!) where I’ll show you how to do just that and I’m
only opening up registration for it for a limited time, so make sure you stay tuned
to your inbox and don’t miss the email, or you’ll miss the chance to sign up!