There I was sobbing my eyes out, several months ago…
in front of an entire circle of women, mascara everywhere.
Great. The ONE day I decide to wear makeup….THIS happens,
I thought to myself.
“Sometimes I feel like I have to do it ALL by myself!
It feels like I’m holding the entire world and no one
is holding me. I need more support and I don’t feel like
anyone is capable of giving it to me”, I cried.
As I heard myself say the words, a part of me marveled.
I’ve been leading groups of women and curating tribes for
entrepreneurs and visionaries that are here to change the
world, for the past 4 years in my business, and this is exactly
the same thing they mention to me before they join my group
That they feel alone.
That they have to do it all by themselves.
That it feels like the people in their lives aren’t capable of
supporting them in the way that they need to be supported…
so why ask?
This is exactly what I have been leaning into more myself
over the past 5 years…and yet here it was again…ANOTHER
layer of this same “I’m not supported enough” belief.
I thought I was past it. Clearly, I was not past all of it.
I was suddenly instructed to lie down and let all the women
in the group adore me. I wanted to bolt towards the door
and never come back…
But I did as I was told.
I lay down while a group of women surrounded me and told me
how much they loved me, how much they saw me, with their hands
on my heart, my belly and arms.
There was so much love and support being directed at me
in that moment, flooding in…
and all I could think about was how uncomfortable I felt
and how I just wanted it to stop. It was “too much love”
coming my way.
And that’s when it dawned on me.
The only reason I didn’t feel supported, or like I didn’t have
enough support, or like no one could truly hold all of me…
is because I wasn’t LETTING anyone do that.
At least not to this new level I was just now becoming aware
of, that needed a whole new deeper level of support.
Just as I had a really hard time receiving love and adoration
from this group of women, who clearly WANTED to help me
and support me, I was having a hard time truly receiving the full
support of the amazing tribes of friends that I have built around
me in the past 4 years.
Just today in calls with clients in my programs, THREE clients
told me that they were not feeling like they have enough support,
in their businesses and in their lives…
even though they were telling me this while on calls surrounded
by other people who are in the program with them who are just
dying to help them out…
if only they would just ASK.
So here’s the re-frame I want to offer you as a gift today, love.
What if the belief that you are alone, that you don’t belong, that
you have to do it all by yourself, that no one wants to support you,
that no one “gets” you…
is simply an illusion.
What if the one cutting off all the support available to you, is you?
What if you’re the one not allowing in the support that the Universe
is so desperately trying to send to you?
If you say you don’t feel like you’re getting enough support, what if, maybe,
just maybe, you’re the one blocking the vast expanse of support surrounding
you at all times?
On the calls with my clients today, I had each person in the group
with them state how much they want to support them. Sure enough,
each client experienced an entire tribe of people telling them “we want
to support you so much, but you don’t LET us”.
It was the same thing those women in my circle said to me, many months
ago, as I sat there, crying all of my mascara off.
How many times does someone tell us “Call me if you need anything”
and we assume “yeah right, they’re just saying that” and then we don’t
take them up on their offer?
How many times are we in a room full of people who want to adore us,
yet we choose to believe they don’t care and that we don’t belong?
And then we get angry and bitter at the very people who offered us
support and blame them for not offering us the support that we need
when it’s us who rejected the support in the first place?
What if you’re the only one that thinks you are unworthy of support?
And so, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy?
I would be willing to bet on this….
that if you actually chose to believe that there ARE people out there
that can support you and you chose to actively look around you for
the myriad of ways that you are supported & many people who are
around you, just waiting for you to truly ask for the support you need…
that you’d actually end up with an EXCESS of support.
It’s all in how you choose to look at it.
Trust me, I know this one from personal experience.
For years I judged the people around me as “too superficial” to lend
me the support I needed… “too self-centered”… etc…
And in reality it was me not asking for the support I needed and
not actually giving them a chance to support me…
Eventually, lying there, surrounded by my tribe on that day, getting
mascara all over everything, I allowed a whole other layer of support in.
I allowed myself to look deeply into the eyes of each woman there.
I finally saw that it was safe to surrender into their support.
I finally saw that they DID mean it when they told me “I’m here for you
whenever you need it, just text me or call me”.
I finally saw that they WANTED to support me and that there were no
bad intentions in those loving eyes. There was no dishonesty.
And I let it in.
A huge wave of love and gratitude washed over me and my heart
cracked open as tears streamed down my face.
For the first time in a long time, I felt truly, truly HELD.
At the deepest core of my being.
well that is the level of support that has allowed me
to move mountains in my life and business.
If you’re a visionary, a future leader (or a current one), a person with
a deep calling to make a difference in the world with your gifts…
then the most important thing you need to know,
is that you cannot do this alone.
So stop shutting out all the support that wants to come your way, okay?
Start learning from now, how to RECEIVE support.
It will make a HUGE difference in your business and life.
Because when it feels like everything is falling apart around you,
you will never lose your center amidst the chaos.
Because that support will be your anchor and carry you through.
The entrepreneurial journey is a crazy one.
Living your purpose is not always easy.
There’s no way I would have made it this far, without ALLOWING
myself to truly feel and make use of the support that is always around me.
So tell me, how have you been rejecting support…
and what is the one thing you plan to do today to allow in the support
that wants so badly to come to you?
Let me know in the comments below.