fear tango

A hand written note to Lisa from a client.

A few weeks ago I was outside in my robe and slippers taking my dogs for their morning walk. The morning mist was coming over the mountains and the smell of ocean salt was in the air.

When I’m in Santa Barbara, the place where I live is pretty remote. So, my mailbox isn’t right in front of my house. I have to walk down the mountain to the bottom of the road to pick up my mail, so I tend to not check it often.

This morning, I made a rare stop and found a handwritten envelope addressed to me. I don’t know about you, but I still get so excited to see anything handwritten. It means someone took the time in their busy day to handwrite their sentiments or gratitude to you. It’s the best kind of gift.

As I was walking back up the hill and past the little creek that meanders over the small road, I opened the envelope to find the most beautiful note from a client who had just completed her 1:1 work with me.

It said:

“Tonight I finished my final call with my [new] Mastermind group. When I ended the call, I felt an incredible wave of gratitude, tears and pride. I did it! I really, really did it! I am so, so grateful! And I have so, so much to thank you for. YOU helped to make this possible. YOU looked at all my challenges, supported me, didn’t give up on me, spoke to me in those places that didn’t (at first) want to listen, held the container for my messes, celebrated with me, and BELIEVED in me.

Working with you has transformed my life. You helped to see a power in me that I didn’t really believe was there. You helped to facilitate this growth in me and the ability in me to stand stronger than I ever have before. Thank you, thank you, thank you! With a heart overflowing with gratitude and celebration.”

I stopped dead in my tracks and took a deep breath. I had to allow myself to absorb it. My client’s joy and sense of accomplishment were infectious. And I felt grateful.

Grateful for the fact that I get to be a witness to such transformation. And grateful that in a decade of working with people on their capacity, I’ve seen time and time again that when you commit to it, the transformation you want DOES happen.

I was also grateful for the trust this client put in me. She took a big leap investing to work with me last year. I remember how fearful she felt at the time, how nervous and what a big deal it was for her to do this. Her ego was freaking out, but she committed to honoring her soul’s yes.

Now she’s signed on to her THIRD program with me (she’s now in the 2020 Capacity Circle™ Mastermind). She has not only made more than her investment back, but the entire way she shows up for her life and her career/business has completely changed.

It’s amazing to see what we as humans can do when we decide to go for it and smartly seek out support as we go for it. It’s a winning formula for success.

And I also know what it feels like to invest money in something not knowing what will happen and how it can feel scary. Or having invested in yourself in the past, having a bad experience, or not having gotten the results you wanted… then feeling afraid to do it again.

It’s totally understandable, especially if you’ve been burned. And it’s even harder still if you feel very afraid or don’t trust yourself to have the courage to make THIS time the time you WILL make it happen.

This is why I’m so passionate about Capacity Work™️ and have dedicated a decade of my life to it. 

So many women who come to work with me didn’t previously get results, or have bought the publicity programs and the business coaching but can’t seem to make themselves get to that next level…

It’s because the focus was on strategy, not Capacity.  

There’s nothing WRONG with strategy. We need both. But what good is a killer strategy, if you don’t trust yourself to execute it? Publicity without Visibility Capacity means you’ll get no publicity or the wrong kind. A change in your business strategy with no capacity to handle all the goodness the change will bring means you’ll lose money or sabotage your new wealth.

Making decisions from a place of fear, “playing it safe and small,” in combination with strategy is no place to make winning, successful decisions for your business or career.


And it’s definitely no way to grow in any way that would be meaningful to you and give you the sense of accomplishment you’re seeking.

Here are some examples of how sneaky capacity issues can be…

If you know your marriage is about to die because you’re so wrapped up in and overwhelmed by your business, you probably won’t implement the fabulous strategy you paid for, or you’ll drag your heels. Because some part of you subconsciously fears that when you DO execute the strategy, your marriage might fall apart. 

^^^^^ That’s a capacity problem.

If you know increasing your visibility is going to essentially make you “come out” as your FULL self to former colleagues or family members who don’t know all of you… you’ll sabotage those publicity strategies and decrease their effectiveness. Because you know the minute you’re fully visible, you might lose some friends who never actually supported you in the first place. Even if they’re not great friends, losing even bad friends can trigger our abandonment fears.

^^^^^ That’s also a capacity problem.

This is why you always hear me say, “It’s not your strategy, it’s your capacity.”

The minute you focus on expanding your CAPACITY to hold, handle and receive all of those strategies, things start moving and shifting.

You completely change how you see yourself, too, and that is a lifelong gift that never stops giving. When you change how you see yourself, what you DO shifts too. You start doing in ways that actually get you closer to your goals instead of spinning your wheels in strategies all year long.

My client who sent me the touching note had been half in and half out of her business for years. She’d been dreaming of creating a mastermind for a LONG time. She knew the strategies. It was her capacity that needed help.  

Capacity is THE missing ingredient in where you are now vs. where you want to be.

In case you missed it…

I’m so passionate about MORE women having results like this, I restructured my offerings this year and added programs that can get you working with me and expanding your capacity for less than $400 a month.

If you’ve been wanting to work with me or explore what this work can do for you, send me a reply here & tell me what capacity challenges you’re having.

Let’s see if I can support you.




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