We need to talk. Big time.
Please put down whatever you’re doing right now and take FIVE minutes to read this. You will NOT regret it, I promise. Even if you have ZERO interest in the virtual Capacity retreats, you will STILL learn A LOT about yourself reading this email today.
Every year when I open up the virtual Visibility Capacity retreat, I get a ton of questions in my inbox. I LOVE replying personally and helping you through your fears or answering q’s.
These questions also give me A LOT of insight into
how you self-sabotage or get in your own way.
Often, it’s SO tricky and secret (the way your ego sabotages you)
that you aren’t even aware of it until I point it out and your mind is blown.
Capacity is the greatest imperative of our time for women leaders. We need empowered, high-capacity women leading right now. Or our world is going to sh$t, frankly.
It concerns me when I see your fear-brain tricking you out of growth by giving you super logical-sounding “reasons,” when it’s actually just sabotaging you. Now THAT is scary.
So I’m addressing some of these interesting self-sabotage thought forms I’ve gotten recently via email.
Because if a few of you are having these thoughts, there are LOTS of you thinking the same thing, and you haven’t gotten the benefit of getting some coaching via email with me to realize how they’re hurting you.
Can I attend the virtual retreat via text only? Do I have to speak or be on video? or
I just don’t learn that way. I learn best on my own—
can’t you just turn this into a self-study course?
My beautiful, talented, amazing sister—stop for a moment and think about this.
This is a virtual retreat that is meant to expand your capacity for MORE VISIBILITY.
So what kind of a crappy coach and what kind of crappy container would I/this be if you came to the retreat… only to hide behind typing only into the chat room or not showing your face/letting us hear your voice?
- The whole point is to expand your visibility. That means you have to step outside of your comfort zone and let yourself BE SEEN.
I get it’s a little uncomfortable. But that’s exactly why I keep the retreat to only 6-10 people MAX. And you can hear from the mouth of a past attendee right here, how amazed she was at how quickly she felt close to the women who were at the retreat with her.
I create amazing, safe containers. You will feel right at home.
As far as “Can I just study this on my own?” No. Again, expanding our Visibility Capacity is about getting OUT of our comfort zone and doing things DIFFERENTLY. You can’t expect to get different results if you refuse to DO things differently or within your comfort zone.
I don’t have a business, or I’m in between businesses right now…
I’m not a millionaire with a super successful business yet…
I’ve just closed up a business that sucked the life out of me,
and am really foggy on what’s next…
am I a fit for this retreat?
In short. YES. I sent out two emails about this in the last two weeks. One email was about how easily we as women can “disqualify” ourselves if our current circumstances don’t look like another woman’s.
So if you’re still thinking this—I want you to notice how your ego totally bypassed that I told you EVERYONE who is COMMITTED to working on their capacity is welcome. That’s a clue about how your ego sabotages you from stepping into more visibility.
It convinces you that you “don’t have a right” or “aren’t worthy of” Capacity Work because you aren’t a millionaire with a business that’s booming.” And you disqualify yourself. You’re giving up before you even give yourself the chance to try.
I bet this is happening EVERYWHERE in your work, your purpose, your life, your money etc…
Not just in relation to joining us in this virtual retreat.
THAT IS A CAPACITY ISSUE. It’s a visibility capacity issue. You can’t SEE yourself as your future successful self, so you act like the fake small version of you that’s an illusion. And you make decisions like the fake small version of you. The result? Small results.
You tell yourself you don’t have the right to take up space or claim that you want Capacity Work. But really look at my emails to you in the last few weeks—where does it say this work is only for millionaire entrepreneurs? NOWHERE.
We have artists, auto-body shop owners, business owners, entrepreneurs, dance instructors, super successful business owners, women earning six figures, women in between business ideas and MORE—ALL ATTENDING.
If your soul is pulling you to this—YOU BELONG HERE. Period.
Stop acting like you don’t have the right to be where you want to be. Claim your space. Claim your spot in our retreat. It’s yours if you SAY its yours. Period.
Can I wait til you write a book and just get some
capacity building exercises from your book?
No. Why? Because the fact that we as a society have convinced ourselves that just reading a book is going to solve our problems is A CAPACITY ISSUE.
At some point I will write a book about this, yes. BUT, you will NEVER experience what you experience Live with Capacity Work, in a book.
That’s because Capacity Work is on a WHOLE OTHER STRATOSPHERE when you get to be LIVE, WITH ME COACHING YOU and a group of other women who are holding the space for you to soar.
A book can’t TOUCH THAT.
And that’s another way that your ego tricks you into staying in your comfort zone. By thinking that reading one blog post or one book is enough to create the huge breakthrough you’ve been waiting for.
Can you have a breakthrough reading a book? Yes.
But after that breakthrough come more shifts. And you have questions. And you need help. A book doesn’t pick up the phone and talk to you. A book doesn’t cheer you on and hold space for you.
If you think reading a book is going to give you everything you want, I want to gently point out that this might be why you’re not getting the results you want in your life and work. Because reading a book isn’t actually DOING THE WORK.
Being in a virtual retreat, DOING CAPACITY WORK LIVE—that is doing the work that won’t just be one hit of inspiration, but will be long lasting.
I’m so overwhelmed with my busy schedule I didn’t even have time to look at the dates for the retreat… is there going to be another one soon?
I have so much on my plate, I have to find my kids childcare etc…
If you have that busy of a schedule that you can’t even open up the page for the virtual Visibility Capacity retreat, long enough to scroll down one second and see the dates, click ONCE on the enroll now button and get yourself IN…
That’s a major red flag for a capacity issue.
Your busy-ness is literally stopping you from making the changes you need so that you WON’T be so busy and overwhelmed. You need Capacity Work STAT if that is your situation.
If you’re too busy to do something about being too busy, then I want you to ask yourself why you’re saying you want to be less busy, yet you’re not DOING anything to be less busy?
And listen, I work with TONS of moms. I know how hard it is to find childcare or to ask your partner to assist you for four hours. No way am I going to dismiss that.
AND I also want you to consider this: joining this virtual retreat is an INVITATION. An invitation to ASK FOR MORE HELP so that you can finally get to the next level of your work & purpose.
No (wo)man is an island. Women do SO MUCH unpaid emotional labor for others, mostly because we don’t say “Hey, I am ALWAYS with the kids. I need you to support me for JUST FOUR HOURS THIS ONE TIME so that I can achieve MY goals. Please make the time to support me.”
Consider that THIS might be the invitation to ASK your partner to step up and support you more. To start gathering your support systems so that you have the ECO-SYSTEM you need to go to your next level.
You can’t do this alone. Stop making yourself do it alone. It might be time to have some serious heart to hearts with people in you life about how it’s time for YOU to get support from THEM after you’ve supported them for so long.
I really want to attend and am on the brink of signing up…
do YOU think I’m the right fit?
Hon (and I say that NON condescendingly, but with affection)…
When I get a question like this, I also wonder where else you’re seeking validation and permission for your choices in your life and your work.
First, if I didn’t’ think you’re the right fit, I’d say so. I’m always going to be honest and tell you if I think you’re not ready yet.
Second, it’s not about whether “I” think you’re the right fit… it’s about YOU saying “I AM the right fit dammit! Because I say so!”
Society teaches us women that we have to be damsels in distress who need the permission of other people to do what our soul asks us to do. EFF THAT. You’re not a weak, distressed damsel. You are a powerful woman.
The validation you need is staring you in the face. Listen to it. Do as your soul says.
What if I don’t want to talk about my business or work, but rather want to use the Capacity Work to focus on some areas of my life I need help with?
Can I still attend if I want to talk about life things and not business things?
ABSOLUTELY. Capacity Work is for every part of our lives. Not just our careers, jobs, or businesses. In fact, you can’t really do Capacity Work and ONLY focus on your business… because that’s just not how life works.
Our capacity to hold, handle, and receive all that life brings us affects our relationships, relationships with self, emotional life, how we show up at work, our businesses… ALL of it.
There are so many calls with clients where we don’t even talk about their businesses because something in life is much more important and needs to be supported BEFORE business talk can begin.
So, no, you don’t HAVE to talk about business or work in order to attend.
This is CAPACITY Work and our visibility affects EVERY relationship in our lives, whether personal, with self or our businesses.
Did you get something out of this? Leave a comment and let me know.
Are you ready to give up your self-sabotage and CLAIM what you want?
Then join us now.
SPOTS ARE ALMOST SOLD OUT FOR BOTH RETREATS.
Just yesterday FIVE women claimed their spots.
This week’s retreat is only 3 days away!
PS: Any more questions? Leave a comment and I’m happy to help you make a decision that feels good to you.
PPS: We have payment plans as well, just email firstname.lastname@example.org and ask for it if you need it and we’ll create a link just for you.