she didn’t like me


lisa fabrega

I was at a gathering recently (outside, wearing masks, very physically distanced and just five people) and I mentioned I probably wasn’t going to fly on any planes until next year and even then it would have to be on a private plane, with everyone onboard tested for COVID.

One woman who I get along with really well and just love said “honestly, I only picture you flying private” and we laughed because I felt seen! And I said “yeah one of my goals is to only fly private at a certain point.”

Immediately, I noticed someone in the group bristled. No one noticed it. This person’s face was still and didn’t show it. But I feel energy. She did NOT like that I said that. One of my gifts is that I actually feel people’s thoughts. I heard her say in her head “who does she think she is, so arrogant.”

Recently I made a suggestion to a group I’m a part of that “serial entrepreneur” or “entrepreneur” be added as a career to a list of careers for kids to learn about at an event this group was putting on. Instantly, three men in the group made jokes about what I said about how “serial entrepreneur” actually means “serial failed businesses” and “that’s a nice way to say you keep failing at business.”

They said it because THEY had failed at their businesses. I haven’t. The businesses I’ve started have all been successful. Again, I could feel the thoughts of these men under their jokes. “Your success threatens us, so we will make fun of what you said.” Interestingly, I wasn’t invited to be a part of the event. Hm, wonder why…

You’re always going to feel and hear some version of “how dare you think too audaciously? Who do you think you are?” when you know what you want and go for it. 

There’s always going to be that friend who every time you mention a fabulous experience you worked hard for, mentions her bad experiences or how “some people don’t get to have that experience” to make you feel guilty about what you’ve earned through hard work.

I have a relative who regularly scoffs at my big ideas and says “I’m a realist and realists are the people who actually make things happen in the world.” He says this with an air of “you’ll learn” and I wonder who said that to HIM as a child when his dreams were crushed. My big ideas have all come to pass, by the way.

Someone is always going to be triggered by your visibility, your way of doing things, the things that you want to create. If you don’t build the capacity to ignore and keep moving on, you’re going to get thrown by every single naysayer that shows up. And on the path to creating big things for yourself, LOTS of naysayers will show up. 

Building your capacity allows you to accept it, notice it and keep note of who cheers you and who reacts to you. Then, keep doing your thing. 

I’m always thankful when I notice someone reacts negatively to a goal I have. Those “reactors” don’t get to come near my sphere of influence. I’ll always be kind but I keep them at an arm’s length, always.

Part of having capacity is BOUNDARIES. I call it Boundary Capacity. And when you have boundary capacity, you’re extremely careful about curating your space because you’ve got big things to do in this world. And there’s zero time to get thrown off by people who are projecting their own fears and limitations onto you.

If you’re ready to build your capacity, fill out the Capacity Discovery form right here. I’ve opened up five spots this month in the Capacity Shift group program where you can start to build your capacity for less than $400 a month.

Once I review your application, if I think I can help, we can hop on the phone and discuss the best fit for you.