One of the most shocking things I discovered when I decided to live the life I wanted to live (this started in my 20’s) was HOW MUCH resistance you can face not just from family members and friends but society as a whole. I wasn’t prepared for just how lonely it could feel and how it would require for me to build IMMENSE emotional and mental capacity.
As you grow up in your family and get exposed to “generally accepted” beliefs and ideas about what can and can’t be done, a lot of these beliefs get ingrained into you. Before you know it, you’re accepting these ideas as true, just because “that’s the way it’s always been done”.
These “generally accepted so-called truths” come in all shapes and forms. Just a few of the ones I’ve experienced are: you can’t meet the love of your life or have children in your forties. You can’t learn a new skill and become a maestro at it after your twenties. You can’t make six figures in your first year of business. Or you’re a failure if you DON’T make six figures in your first year of business. Men don’t like curvy women. Strong women are unattractive.
Your exposure to these “generally accepted” ideas is CONSTANT. As you venture out on your own unique path, you’ll hear the judgments from people’s minds who don’t believe in you. The silent clucking and eye-rolling of people who think you’ve gotten “too big for your britches”.
Sometimes you’ll feel people’s personal worries projected onto you and accidentally take them on as your own. This will cause you to wrestle with such intense doubt. You’ll face WALLS of people’s personal limitations presented as THE ONLY truth.
And then you turn on the TV or read anything and all of these “generally accepted ideas about what is and isn’t possible” are woven into EVERYTHING you see and read. it’s woven into so many every day sayings, behaviors, religions and organizations in positions of authority.
So much so, you start to feel like what you desire might actually be impossible. You’ll feel like your pace is “wrong” and put pressure on yourself to “get there” within a time frame that doesn’t work for you. I can’t tell you how many clients I’ve had to calm down when they’re upset that they “aren’t making seven figures yet” as if there’s some sort of established timeline and if you meet that timeline you’re somehow finally worthy.
You cut off your ability to go to your next level because when you put that much pressure on yourself to meet some “external” timeline you feel badly about yourself and you don’t show up as your most powerful. So that artificial, external pressure about how it “should be” actually slows you down.
As I struggled with this daily fight while carving out my own path and honoring my pace, I started to discover that, in reality, there are many truths and many realities.
When I didn’t feel ready to have children in my thirties, I started looking into women in their forties having children. Halle Berry had her last child when she was starting menopause! Geena Davis just had twins at age 49. Everywhere I looked there were stories of women doing what I had been told “couldn’t be done.”
I’ve met so many men and women who met the love of their lives in their forties, fifties. And even eighties! I’ve read of a seventy year old man taking up piano and becoming one of the most celebrated pianists in the world at ninety. Back in 2010, when I started my business, I was told to prepare for “not making any money for the first two years”. I worked my booty off and my business made six figures in just the first year,
If you dare go beyond the naysayer voices who want to tell you “how it is” you’ll find that what is “mainstream” actually…isn’t. So many people are succeeding doing the things you don’t think you’re allowed to do. Look for them. Find proof of what YOU want.
This is why I ended up creating the Capacity Framework™. What you need to live the life YOU want to live (not the one everyone has told you is for you) is Capacity. The greatest, hardest and most powerful work in your life is learning to turn your mind away from the beliefs that tell you what you want is “impossible”.
I seem to have chosen a life where everything I want to do has been deemed impossible. So far, it hasn’t been. The hardest part wasn’t doing the work to get there. The hardest part was battling my own mind repeating the voices of those who said it was impossible. And winning that battle by building the emotional capacity to withstand an army of generally accepted thought forms and beliefs that AREN’T the ONLY truth.
And believe me, you NEED that kind of capacity because it will often feel like it’s just you pushing back an army of 100 million. This is why I always emphasize it’s not your strategy alone that gets you there, it’s your capacity.
Strategies don’t help when you’re doubting that what you really desire is impossible. Often, strategies are created FROM those limiting mainstream beliefs, so generally accepted strategies can actually limit you. When you have CAPACITY, you can create a strategy that aligns with what YOU want, not what someone else told you you should want.
I felt called to share this with you today, because you get to create the life you want. And what you want ISN’T impossible. You just need to build the capacity to create that life. Because chances are, it WILL look different than what you see around you.
If you’re ready to build the capacity to create the life you want, fill out the Capacity Discovery form right here. I’ve opened up five spots this month in the Capacity Shift group program where you can start to build your capacity for less than $400 a month.
Once I review your application, if I think I can help, we can hop on the phone and discuss the best fit for you.