I work with people who know that they’re supposed to be making a big contribution but for reasons they can’t quite pin down, they’re just not doing it. I help to light that inner spark that sets their revolution in motion.

9 Lessons From A Year of Epic Failure



I woke up with a start. Drenched in sweat, breathing heavily. One glance at my phone and I saw it was that time again.

4:44am. The time for my usual, nightly panic attack.

Who am I? What am I doing?
Everything is falling apart and I can’t do anything to stop it.
Everything is failing. I can’t figure it out. I can’t see.
I feel like I’m floating out in a vast sea of darkness and there is nothing to grab onto.

I would sit there in the dark of my room, listening to the fan whir. The wind outside. The bugs making their alien insect sounds without a care for the fragile state of my nervous system. And it felt like the world had sat down directly on my chest.

And no matter what I did, what personal development tool I implemented, it would not go away.

I felt like I had entered a distant planet covered in thick, dark clouds with no map or guidance and no idea when this all might end.

That was almost every single night of this year.

It started shortly after my dog passed away in my arms, leaving my heart shattered.
It wasn’t a surprise. She was 18. Her kidneys had been failing for months.
I had become her full time nurse. But just because you see death coming, it doesn’t mean you’re not shocked when she finally arrives with her sickly sweet gardenia scent to surgically remove a piece of your heart, without even caring to gauge your level of readiness.

But I guess that is how all profound transformation starts, with a profound loss, a losing of the self. A plunge into a darkness that leaves you reeling and doubting you ever had a name.

And that is how the epic year of failure began.

It was a year of complete and utter surrender.
A year when everything that had always gone right went wrong.
A year where my ego was beaten, bruised and eventually stripped away from me completely.

Many, many people I have been working with, talking to and guiding this year have had the exact type of year. They tell me it has also been one of the hardest years of their lives.

A year where it seemed like everything was taken away. A year of plunging into deep questioning of the person who we thought we were here to be. A year where no matter how hard we tried, nothing that had traditionally worked, actually seemed to work anymore.

For me it was the year where I got to fall on my ass over and over and over again.
A year where I failed. Hardcore. A lot. Spectacularly. Embarrassingly. Cringingly.

And as it comes to a close, I am finally beginning to see that it was a year that was absolutely necessary.

There were some profound, vastly important lessons I learned from the hot shame of my failures. Lessons that woke me up and helped me understand on a profound level what it is to truly live a life that is aligned with the soul. The life we were born to live. Not the one everyone tells us is the “successful one”.

Lessons that taught me that many of the things I thought about how to achieve success and happiness were not always right.

But I’ll also remember it as the year that my creativity came back to me.
The year where I finally created the space to honor my soul at its new level of evolution.
The year where everything was taken away from me so that I could be reborn, like the phoenix, rising from the ashes.

And as always, I’m constantly going through the same things that you, my soul tribe, are going through. We always teach what we need to learn. We’re always on the same soul journey that we guide others on. I would have no business standing up here and talking about the things I talk about if I didn’t.

So here are the 9 most important lessons I learned from a year of epic failure.

I hope they assist you, soul traveler, in your own journey to living a life that is aligned with the truth of who you are called to be, so that you can make the impact you have always desired.



1. Know the difference between the goals of your soul and the goals of your ego

I started off 2015 with a goal to make $500,000 in my business.

I remember the day I proudly sat down with some fellow entrepreneur friends at a restaurant and came up with the entire plan. Each program, neatly laid out with its monetary goals perfectly planned out.

This is going to be a cinch!

And none of it happened. I met none of the goals on that sheet I had proudly prepared at the restaurant and proclaimed to the women at the table.

Oh it wasn’t for lack of trying. I busted my ass and spent thousands of dollars I didn’t have and went into debt trying to achieve those goals. But after failing at yet another launch and feeling the lowest I had felt all year, I realized something.

WHY did I want to make $500,000 dollars?

I was completely surprised to find that the only answer I had was “well because at this point in my business, I should be making $500,000 dollars. Isn’t that what women at my level of business are supposed to do?”

Wrong answer, ego.

The truth is, on a totally subtle level that I was not even aware of, I was comparing myself to so many women in my circle, thinking that if I didn’t hit $500k by the end of the year, I would be an embarrassment.

I also, forgot that the model I had had the previous year to make multiple six figures had nearly burned me out completely. Yet here I was with a plan to make even more than the year before...with almost the exact same business model that had nearly drained the life out of me.

Because all I could think about was the number. $500k. That’s just what I’m supposed to be making this year. Period.

I was building a plan for what I now teach to many of the people I work with as “disembodied income”–income goals generated completely from the ego, without once checking in with what the soul actually wants.

And unknowingly, that is exactly what I had done. And after the sixth month of going into the negative or breaking even with a launch, what I realized when I checked in with my soul is that She didn’t give a shit about $500,000.

What she wanted was space to write my book, rest and find her creativity again.
She only cared about making “enough to cover the basic expenses” this year.

When you’re creating your goals–are they coming from your SOUL or are they coming from your ego that needs validation, approval, or to be “seen” a certain way by others?

I’m telling you from experience, that even totally well meaning people who DO take the time to honor their souls (hello–me!), can get caught up in disembodied goals. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement the ego feels for reaching certain numbers and forget to check in with your soul.
Your happiness is way more important than some number you can brag about in a Facebook ad, wave about as proof of your expertise or proclaim proudly to your circle of friends.

2. Above all, make the space to hear your soul.

During the darkest of times, when my 4am anxiety was at its worst and I was questioning everything, feeling like my entire world was falling apart and afraid that I would lose all my money and would somehow end up on the street with nothing…

I heard a voice in my soul say one thing to me: travel.

This made no sense. Especially because I was so worried about money. Isn’t that expensive? But I know by now, when you hear those little voices, you listen.

So I did.
I booked trips to Bali, Iceland, Panama and Italy. The places my soul told me to go.
I was invited on a trip to Alaska, and my soul said yes, so I went without questioning.
I managed to come up with the money to go on all the trips (where there is a will there is always a way).

And it was through travel that I found myself again. Travel created a vast space for me to HEAR my soul.

One thing I find is that as creative, high achieving women (and men), we tend to get so busy with all the stuff we want to create and are creating, that our minds begin to mimic our schedules and before we know it, we’ve unknowingly disconnected from the part of us that guides us in making the best decisions of our lives.

Without this guidance from my Soul, I was being led into creating a life that was beginning to look nothing like what I was actually called here to do. I was disconnecting from the valuable internal guidance that my soul holds and instead needing more and more outside advice on what decisions to make in my life and business.

Losing myself in new landscapes cleared me out, showed me new perspectives. Other ways in which people lived their lives, fully nourished and happy, and not necessarily like the sometimes burned out American dream dictated it should look like.

Then, I was truly free to make decisions from my soul and formulate a plan that didn’t include me working my ass off with no time for other things in my life, like love & lots of space to write my book.

Writing has always been one of my biggest gifts and I got so caught up in the immense work it is to build an empire that I lost all the time I had to operate in my Zone of Genius (writing) and instead spent all of my time in my Zone of Excellence (building the business, running it, etc…). Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m super badass at my Zone of Excellence and I like it. But we always need to make sure to create things that support us being in our Zone of Genius, our most aligned state of flow, more time than we are in the other zones

Otherwise, we start to feel unhappy and drained.

Gay Hendricks has an amazing book, where he explains all of the zones we can operate in. I highly recommend reading it. You can learn more by clicking here.

I’ll be writing much more in depth posts about the effect my travels had on me, because it was seriously profound. In fact, I’d say it was the #1 thing that brought me back to myself and more fully connected to my soul than ever before.

Stay tuned for more of that in early January (when I will be announcing new ways to go on Soul Adventures™ with me around the world).



photo of me in Iceland by Kym Pham

3. If you’re committed to living a life aligned with your purpose, you’re going to have to get really cozy with your old friend Trust.

Following the path of who you are called to be and committing yourself to nothing less than that, is going to, at times, plunge you into some deep, dark unknowns that freak. your. ego. out.

That’s just the way transformation and evolution work.

A caterpillar literally becomes BROWN GOO inside the chrysalis while it’s undergoing its transformation into a butterfly. The butterfly that emerges at the end of that journey is beautiful, a work of art. But it was brown goo right before it became the butterfly. And it had no idea when the brown goo phase would end, what it would become after that or if it would ever actually happen.

All it has is a fervent dream in its heart and the trust & faith that it will come to be.

There are going to be times when you are in your “brown goo phase” where you are going to feel like everything is ending. Your life as you know it is dying and you cannot see what is going to come next. I’m not going to sugarcoat it, babe.

There will be months where you’re lying in your bed, palms open, heart bleeding, begging the Universe to give you the answers you keep pleading for.

And you will be met with utter silence. Nothing.

This is when shit gets real. This is when you find out what you’re made of.
This is when you realize how committed you are to the path of being true to who you were called to be on this friggin’ planet.

It’s easy to have faith in your soul’s deepest calling when everything is clear and easy. It’s easy to move forward on the path when you’re certain. But when you’re in the brown goo phase, you’re going to be freaked. the. F. out. And this is when you find out if you are actually committed to your best life, or if you’d rather chicken out and go back to the mediocre.

You’re going to be asked to believe in yourself and your destiny, even when there is no evidence at all that it will happen or that it’s true.

Because that is literally what true faith is.
And no one on this earth is ever going to have the amount of faith in your heart’s calling that you do. So things like this happen to build your faith and make sure you’re really committed, even when shit gets rough.

I made certain decisions in honor of my soul this year. One of them was to cut a program that made me $200,000 in revenue every year. Another was to only take on clients who I felt were 100% aligned with the work I did and that felt really good intuitively to take on. And another was to stop marketing the way I had been taught and try to market in a more creative, soul aligned way–a way that most marketing gurus would roll their eyes at as “new age bs” and would warn me would ensure failure.

I turned away potential clients that no longer felt aligned with the work I REALLY wanted to be doing with my clients. I turned down opportunities to be exposed to large crowds of people, when the mission didn’t feel aligned. I began to change the way I marketed.

I trembled the entire time.

I started talking less about making six figures, being seen as an influencer and other more egoic goals. There’s nothing wrong with egoic goals. I’m not bashing the ego, the ego is an important part of our daily life. Without it we wouldn’t brush our teeth or get dressed in the morning. And wanting to make six figures and be “seen” in a certain light as an expert are also fine goals. But I realized, that’s not the way I do the work I do with my clients. That wasn’t in alignment for me anymore.

I help my clients align with their souls and do the internal, spiritual work that all those who are called to be high impact leaders must do, in order to not only sustain their impact, but to live truly nourished lives, aligned with their joy & their purpose. I help you build the epic life and know that it’s okay to dream that big.

But at some point along the way, I thought that people would only want to work with me unless I talked about things like multiple six figures and egoic goals. And at first, it felt fine and aligned. But then I started realizing that it was attracting some clients who didn’t want to surrender to their Soul’s voice and instead were so attached to the egoic goals, they didn’t want to do the internal work that I was so good at and that I so deeply loved.

So I stopped marketing that way if it didn’t feel aligned.

And at first, it was like crickets. I went into deep moments of terror that the money would completely stop, no one would want to work with me anymore and I’d be homeless.

But in the end, an amazing person would reach out to me and tell me they just “felt called” to work with me. Really badass clients trickled in out of nowhere. Really cool opportunities for me to teach classes on cutting edge leadership topics showed up. And while I may not have made as much money as I did in the previous year, I was okay.

And I finally surrendered to trusting that the answers would come. That I would know when it was time. And in September, more clarity came. I stepped out of the fog and into the clear day.

You can’t rush your creative process. You can’t rush your transformation.
There is a divine force that knows much more than you do, at what pace you need to be moving. And it’s a lot easier to just let go and trust that all is unfolding as it should.
Much less stress.

I still don’t know how many things will turn out. But the “not knowing” no longer imprisons me in a cage of anxiety and terror to the point where I freeze and can’t do anything. To the point where it makes me miserable.

I feel a peace in my body now, that I never felt before while operating my soul aligned business. Things that go wrong just don’t stress me out as much as they used to. I’m able to remain calm when things fall apart and as a result, I’m a much more effective leader and problem solver.



A photo I took of a delightfully messy and imperfect house in the mountains of Panama, during the LEAD retreat.

4. Fuck Perfect.

I watched a movie recently–Burnt (with the gorgeous Bradley Cooper). It’s about a chef with 2 Michelin stars who is going for his third star (if you are a foodie, you know that getting 3 Michelin stars as a chef is like winning gold at the Olympics for athletes). The problem is that, what he had to do to get those first two stars caused him to betray key people in his life, descend deeply into drug & alcohol addiction and burned him and his career down to the ground.

The movie starts with him coming back to France, after 2 years of being sober and putting his life back together, to try and get his third star.

I cried my eyes out throughout this entire movie because it was such a mirror for the part of me that is a relentless perfectionist and judges myself so harshly when I am not “perfect” or being seen that way by others.

As you watch the immense amount of pressure this desired “accolade” puts on him… The level of perfection it requires for him to be in, in order to win this external marker of “excellence” in a field which is actually his greatest passion and lifelong purpose…
you watch him begin to crumble. You watch him lose the joy in what he does. Never feeling good enough, never feeling happy with what he has created. Ending with him having a complete breakdown in his biggest rival’s arms after trying to commit suicide.

Now, it never got that bad for me. But I wept watching that scene. Because I could see the part of me that wanted the validation and approval of making a certain amount of money, being invited on to Oprah, being SEEN, being reflected right back to me in its most extreme form.

Right there before me was the true cost of perfection. The true cost of validating one’s life purpose through external approval and accolades.

I began to ask myself down to the minutest of levels–what is truly driving me?
I began to realize how striving for perfection was not worth it. Not at all.

Because there is a difference between busting your ass because you LOVE it and because you want to make your life’s work the fullest expression of your soul, so that it can reflect back to others’ their own magnificence…and burning yourself out in the relentless pursuit of perfection, so that others will give you validation and approval. There is a difference.

And I realized this year, that even though I have big goals of impacting millions, having best-selling books and yes, being on Super Soul Sunday with Oprah….

I don’t give a shit about achieving any of those things if it means I have to destroy my life and my happiness to do it. I’d rather not win the accolade, not get my “third star” if it means it ruins my joy. That is a non-negotiable now.

Funnily enough, in the movie, the minute Bradley Cooper’s character gives up the dream of getting his third Michelin star and realizes he just wants to be happy regardless…he achieves it.

So fuck perfect, my love. Your joy is more important than killing yourself for outside recognition. And interestingly enough, when you give up the need for that outside recognition, you usually end up getting it.

5. You are not here to be liked.

At a certain point in the year, after getting some negative, jerk-y comments from a few internet trolls, I began to feel afraid that I was “too truthful” online.
That people were actually turned off by the way that I naturally felt called to express what was in my heart, to serve my tribe.

I began to look around when I was in my period of total uncertainty about who I was and I saw people doing things one way… and I was doing things very differently.

When I saw someone with a very standard message, becoming the darling of the online world, I suddenly felt like I was doing something wrong. My usual raw, vulnerable posts (like this one!), I told myself, were just not “like-able” enough. Maybe I should try to be more like them. I beat myself up about this constantly.

One month, I had to do about 20 affiliate calls with potential affiliates for my program, Impact™,and on a few of them I was dismissed and treated as “not big enough” or “too different” to promote.

I had to deal with some clients and internet commenters who said really mean, uncalled for things and who stole and appropriated my work and presented it as their own.

All of these incidents began to make me doubt myself and my natural form of expression. We all have an inner child that just wants people to like her (or him).

Yet, when we speak our truth, it’s inevitable that not everyone is going to like what we have to say. Sometimes, when we function as mirrors for others, people get triggered. And sometimes, when we are innocently trying to follow our joy, people will get pissed off because they don’t know how to take responsibility for their own lives & their own emotions.

At some point I let this stop me from showing up fully as me. I went into hiding.
Stopped writing as much. I became afraid.

And it made me miserable. I got sick. I began to question myself and feel like a bad human. I wondered if I was just an asshole and I didn’t see it. I actually started to go against my own soul’s voice so that I would be liked more. I let people make requests of me that I said yes to, only because I wanted to be liked. I betrayed myself in tiny ways in order to get approval and love from people I was trying to impress.

And after running myself into the ground trying to please all those people, I realized, eff this.
I am not here to be liked. This was something my friend Kalila Doughty had said to me a long time ago and this time, it finally clicked.

When you’ve got big important work to do, it’s a given that you are not going to be everybody’s cup of tea. There are a lot of people out there in the world and some of them are not happy and looking to be offended. That’s okay.

You’re not here to be liked. You’re here to serve the people you are here to serve. Period.

Not everyone is going to resonate with your work. Like the way you tell your stories.
Like that you write long posts (like this one). Like the way you dress, move, talk or do your hair.

That’s okay. YOU know what you’re here to do. So do it.
If you spend all that time bending into a pretzel, trying to please everyone, you’ll lose who you are, you’ll lose your uniqueness and you’ll never create anything of value. In fact you may not create anything at all.

Create what your heart wants to create. Dare to be you.
Serve your people and forget about the rest.

Do you.



Photo by GeneticBoi

6. Your voice matters, even when it feels like nobody is listening.

Interestingly enough, as if by divine timing to deepen into my lessons, my Facebook reach plummeted. Historically, Facebook was the place I had built most of my online “fame”. It had brought me tons of clients and was one of my main places to communicate with my tribe and share my writing.

I was used to getting 45-100 likes on posts and lots of comments.
I could put up a post about some spots I had open for a program and instantly I would get 5 messages with interest. Facebook changed its algorithm and I watched my reach fall down to almost nothing. There were days when posts would get ZERO likes.
A “good” day became 20 people liking my post.

I had always used my Facebook reach as a way to gauge if my audience was interested or if I was serving them adequately. But now, I had no way of telling.

Because it seemed like people just stopped caring completely. Of course my ego went into freak out mode. I’m just not popular anymore. They’re off to the next “thing” and I’m old news now. You’re going to lose your whole audience. Nobody cares anymore.

This was actually one of the main things that came up when I was having my 4am panic attacks on the regular. It felt like I was putting my heart and soul into a black hole, never to know if anyone on the other side was receiving it.

Not only did this Facebook algorithm change force me to release any remaining ways in which I got validation from how many people liked or responded to my posts. But it taught me, once again, to do my work for the love of it and to have faith.

This experience taught me that we don’t stop putting our work out there and doing our soul’s calling when it seems like people aren’t responding. Because we can’t do our great work solely coming from the place of wanting to get a response from people.

Picasso didn’t paint his paintings so that millions of people could see them.
He painted them because it was what naturally sprung from him and he couldn’t NOT paint prolifically. NOT painting would probably kill him!

And so, I kept writing, kept putting my heart out there. Even when it seemed like not a soul in the world had read it or been impacted by it. A peculiar thing happened…
It brought back the joy in my art.

I started doing my work simply because it made my heart feel joyful to do so.

It strengthened my faith in my soul’s expression, because even though I had no visible evidence that it was making an impact, I chose to BELIEVE that there were silent people out there that it was impacting.

And interestingly enough, months later, I would run into someone and they would tell me how that one post changed their life. Or that the meditation they downloaded as the free gift for coming to my class produced a profound shift in them that was allowing more happiness into their life.

You never know who you’re impacting. Your voice matters.
Do it because you love it and trust that it’s landing with the people it needs to land with, because it is.

You may not see it at first, you may not see your ripple effect for a long time, but it IS resonating. It is reverberating. Keep going.

If you’re only motivated to express your soul and put your work out there when people are actively responding to you, then you’re not going to last very long. And you’re going to be miserable, only being able to express your soul’s art when people are watching, having to go silent when they are not.

The thing you’re here to do, is here to be expressed, whether or not people are watching. It has a life of its own, having nothing to do with other people. Stoke its flame, let it breathe and dance to the beat of its drum. The rest is just “extra”.

7. Know when it’s time to kill hope & make adult decisions

One of the most important qualities you can possess on the path to making your big visions a reality and doing your soul’s work in the world is the relentless drive that hope gives you.

Unfortunately, holding on so stubbornly to hope that you don’t know when to shift gears can really land you in a ton of hot water.

And that’s exactly what I learned when I hired a huge, fancy team to run my entire business for me in March. I invested $25,000 of credit in this team and in a big launch of a new product I was putting out there. It broke even. We made no money, but hey at least I covered my expenses.

Having had some kind of traumatic experiences with former members of my team, I was enchanted with the level of professionalism of the team I hired. I loved the team so much that I stubbornly wanted to hold on to them even when I couldn’t afford them.

I ended up racking up a ton of debt just to keep them on, instead of putting my big girl panties on and hiring a team of my own, that would cost me less money. I was holding on so tightly to the dream of having this awesome team, that I forgot to make decisions like the adult CEO of my business.

Eventually, I realized, it was time to put that dream on pause for the moment, and turn this ship around before it sunk to the bottom under a pile of debt. I kept one member from the dream team and hired the rest on my own.

I now have one of the best teams I have ever had, for ⅓ of the money.

Sometimes, you have to know when to kill hope and get real about what’s needed. it doesn’t mean you’re giving up on the dream. I have a lot of clients who quit their jobs and expect their businesses to rise to six figures in 3 months. They begin to panic when their savings are dwindling and they’re still hustling to get clients. I tell them, their is NO shame in getting a part time job so that you’re not freaking out all the time about money. Freaking out about money is going to keep you so contracted, you’re not going to be able to produce anything creative anyway. So make the choices that help you feel like you’re in expansion, instead of adding more stress to your already full plate.

Building your dream takes time. And yes it takes holding on to hope.
But making small sacrifices that will hold up the long term vision is part of the process and it doesn’t mean you’re giving up on it entirely.

Sometimes we need to take some detours on the way and kill the “hope” that could be driving the dream into the ground in the long term.



Feelin’ myself in front of a waterfall in Panama

8. It’s okay for you to love what you love.

Not everyone is here to be a teacher and impart information. Not everyone is here to stand up in front of a white board and pass on knowledge the way that most do, with a powerpoint presentation and a laser pointer.

Some of us possess gifts that go beyond the masculine world of the tangible and measurable. Not all transformations can be measured with six figure end of year results or 30 pounds lost. Some transformations are much deeper than any scale can ever measure or any end of year financial report can show.

Some of us guide our tribes by acting as mirrors. Some of us through dancing.
Some through shamanic trance work. Some through energy work. Some through simple, total silence. Some of us teach by putting out bleeding hearts on display.

Some of us are here to teach nothing, instead, we are here to hold space.

For the longest time, I have known that holding space is my zone of genius.

One time, a coach of mine asked me how I get such powerful results with my clients, and I said to her, I don’t know how to describe it, but I just sit in silence and “see” them. And while I “see” straight down to their core truth, I send a beam of energy from my stomach into the room that shakes shit up. And I let the truth of who they are be reflected in my eyes back to them and the shifts just happen. Huge shifts. Shit breaks up in their body and they can finally see themselves as the amazing beings they are. Suddenly they know it’s okay to be who they are and dream the big dreams they’ve been afraid to dream. Suddenly they know who they truly were called here to be.

But, I thought, I cannot say that is what I do because NO ONE is going to understand that or want to buy it.

For years, I have led retreats that women describe as absolutely, jaw droppingly transformational and “otherworldly”. But I couldn’t figure out why I always felt wiped out after every single retreat.

I couldn’t figure out why I felt like all the life had drained out of me whenever I would hop on the phone with someone who was interested in working with me for an initial session, and they would ask me to tell them what what wrong with them or tell them what I “saw”.

It felt icky to me because it felt like I was being used like an ATM machine for their information addiction. And my soul’s work was not about teaching people MORE information.
Precisely the reason they were coming to me was because they had too much information and couldn’t hear their soul’s guidance anymore, and therefore were not living or running a business in alignment with their souls.

It took the darkness of this year to make me realize…well, everything has pretty much failed…I have nothing left to lose, so why not just come out fully with what I ACTUALLY do and see what happens?

Having to keep up a facade that they would get some more “information” or having to keep up the pressure of “my content is totally new content that has never been heard before” in order to entice people became exhausting.

So I began to tell people flat out that that is not what they were going to get from me.

This year when I led my retreat in Panama, the first thing I told the women when I was in front of them was, I’m not here to teach you anything. I don’t know any more than you know. I’m simply here to hold the space for you to listen to your soul. Because THAT is the guidance you need most. I don’t have any “information” to give you”.

I showed up to teleclasses and talks I was asked to give with NOTHING prepared.

I simply held the space and sent the transmission needed.

The result is my best work to date and the best feedback I have ever received in my almost 6 years of business.

You might like making dubsmash videos, burning sage, collecting crystals…
you might be a priestess instead of a teacher…
you might be an adventuress instead of a workshop leader…
you might be a writer instead of a coach…

I want to tell you that it’s okay to love what you love. In fact, what you love IS the thing that makes you unique, special & amazing at what you do.

When I started allowing myself to love what I love in my work, my creativity returned to me, my burnout began to fade and I began to feel much happier.

And doing my great work began to feel like a joy, instead of one more thing on my to do list.



Some of the fabulous gals I went to Italy with Nanda Akkerman, Kym Pham, Kimmy Simi & Yishyene

9. You absolutely, 100% cannot do it alone. No matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise.

Earlier this year, during my soul searching, I went to a workshop at a massive online marketing conference. The workshop was called “What It Takes To Scale A Business To 8 Figures”.

Hmm. I definitely want to go see what this is all about, I thought to myself.

When I walked into the room and sat down, I fully expected an hour long presentation about the numbers in your business and the proper systems that needed to be in place.

Instead, the presenter, the owner of a very successful 8 figure business, spoke for an entire hour about the importance of your TEAM.

He said something that to this day, still impacts me.

He said, if there is a member of your team that is amazing at what they do, but they have a poor or difficult attitude, fire them immediately. Even if they are amazing at what they do. Fire them. Because their attitude will be like a disease that infects your entire team and it will eventually destroy your vision and your entire company.

A few weeks later, I went home and fired one of the most valuable members of my team.

The minute I fired them, I was stunned to feel what felt like 100 pounds lift from my shoulders. I realized that even though this team member was amazing at what they did, their poor attitude had kept me tap dancing for years. I was so afraid of their outbursts or their reactions, that I couldn’t step into the leadership role the company was needing, because I was afraid it would trigger this team member.

And as a result, the art I was meant to bring to this world was being held back.

So I couldn’t move my company forward into the great vision I had for it. And it had infected my other team members as well. I had a great deal of trouble hiring the right people for the job, because I was hiring people based on whether or not this team member would be pissed off about it or not.

I needed a team of people who were passionate about what we were doing, because to get the company to where I wanted it to go, to get it to that level of impact and service I would need a TEAM of individuals who cared as much about the mission of the company as I did. Who saw when I was feeling burned out and told me to go home and rest while they took over. Who strove and fought like I did for this dream to be out there in the world.

In order for the mission to reach more people, I had to let go and let a team of capable individuals have my back.

And then I started to think about my “heart team”– the friends and individuals in my life that I was surrounding myself with. Were they the “team” I needed to take the work of my soul into the next level to which it wanted to grow, to build the beautiful, epic life I had always dreamed of?

What I found was a large number of “friends” who loved me to death when I was feeling doubtful of myself, but who became extremely threatened when I was confident and fired up with passion for what I knew I was here to do. Who were supportive when I was playing small, but the minute I began to shine, passive aggressive, competitive or undercutting comments would fly.

I also had quite a few friends that I was always there for, texting them late into the night when they had a crisis or needed some advice or connecting them with someone who I think would help them further their work. But who were mysteriously absent for days when I needed some advice myself.

I had honest conversations with each one of these friends.
I let them know how their comments or lack of presence made me feel. I expressed a desire for deeper, more authentic connection and I invited them into a space where we could both fully meet each other with the same amount of energy, love & respect.

Needless to say, I lost a lot of friends that couldn’t handle that.

But what remained was a core tribe of people who had my back through this entire year.

There is no way in hell I could have gotten through this year without them.
There were nights at 2am where my ego was dying and I felt like I would surely not make it. I don’t know how I would have made it without these friends gently whispering me back to myself, reminding me of the powerful woman that I am, telling me they believed in me and that it would turn out okay.

And there is no way that I could have pulled off everything I did in getting my soul’s work out there without the amazing friends who referred people to me when I had to fire poorly performing employees and the incredible team members I ended up hiring who now make up my company’s team.

Listen up, babe–and I want you to hear me well.

You are the mama (or the papa) to the vision that was born implanted into your soul.
You are the creator and protector of that bright dream that burns inside of you.
And that means that it is up to you to protect the eternal flame of that dream by curating a soul tribe of people who will protect it and fan that flame when you’re too tired to go on.

After years of being “the nice girl” I can safely say, that after this year, I hire quickly and I fire quickly, whether it be a member of my team or a new friend.

I’ve got shit to do, people to inspire & serve and big dreams to build.
If you can’t get on board with that, I send you love, but kindly step out of my way.



Photo of me in Iceland by Kym Pham

If there’s one last “lesson” I can leave you with, it’s this.

We are not here on this planet to make six figures, be the most popular person in the world or get fancy invites to exclusive events.

What I’ve learned from this year of failure, loss & deep initiation is that we are here to LIVE. To do the thing we were put here to do with absolute love, joy & passion. We are here to connect and serve with our greatest gifts and live the epic lives we dream of in our souls.

And what that requires is something no blueprint, template, exclusive invite, accolade, income goal, award or step by step proven success system can give you.

What that requires is a relentless dedication to, over and over again, giving yourself the space for you to hear your soul. What that requires is that you relentlessly honor your soul enough to make sure that what you are building always feels in true alignment.

Sometimes life strips everything away from us to remind us of who is truly wanting to be born. Sometimes everything burns to the ground so that you can rise into your true being like the Phoenix, all aflame in your glorious, unique truth.

Before a big expansion comes a big contraction.
That is what it is to live a soul aligned life. That is what it is to walk the path of authenticity, service and love. It’s not work for the mediocre or the faint of heart.

And I am grateful for all of it. All of the ego-crushing failures.

Because everything that was stripped from me this year, was truly no longer serving the person I was called here to be.

And what is emerging now is the most soul-connected work I have created in years.

I can finally breathe again. I have my full joy and energy back. I am sleeping like a baby. I am having dreams for the first time in years.

I am more deeply aware than ever of the power of what I am here to do.
And in the last few months I have been creating beautiful things behind the scenes that I can’t wait to share with you.

I’ll be announcing one of the new and powerful ways to work with me to step into YOUR soul aligned work & leadership, next week. So make sure you do NOT miss that email.

It’s something I never thought i would bring back, but it’s back and better than ever and there are a very, very limited amount of spots.

Until then, thank you for witnessing me. Thank you for having the courage to step into this container of truth and aligned love, week after week. Thank you for daring to dream the big dreams, even when it’s scary.

You are part of my soul tribe, too. And I love you.

With devotion,





Even when shit gets hard, the sun still shines on <3


The Power Of Your Smallness


In the last 4 weeks, I’ve received a very strange request from my soul.

It has thrown me for a loop in an incredible, unexpected way.

But I followed it.  

Because if there’s anything I know after going against my soul for years and ending up sick & almost diagnosed with a serious auto-immune illness, because of that….

it’s that when your soul speaks, She/He is going to ask you to do things that your ego does not understand.  In fact your brain might think they’re downright crazy.   But every time I’ve had the courage to bypass my ego and follow what She was asking me to do, that’s when the magic has sprung forth from the fertile grounds of my life (and the lives of the people who I’ve worked with as a guide in their own soul alignment).

And so, about 4 weeks ago I got the very clear sign from my soul and my body to slow down.

And not just slow down…

but literally my soul said:  “be smaller”.

My brain didn’t know how to make sense of this.

Aren’t we constantly bombarded with motivational posts and internet memes that scream at us “go big!”, “don’t play small!” or “you weren’t born to be small!”?

Isn’t it going against myself to be small?
Isn’t that a bad thing that is all about self sabotage?

But yet, when I put my ears again to my Soul, once again she whispered…

I want to be small for a bit.  Like a mouse.
Listening to only myself and the beatings of my tiny, delicate heart.

Now, I am an extrovert, with Mercury in Leo.
If you don’t know what that means in astrological speak–it basically means I am born to be on a stage, to speak out, speak proud and put myself  “out there”.
And as an extrovert I get a lot of energy from being around people.

I do everything pretty big.   I love being “big” and I love big.
And I have a big, strong heart.

“But”, my soul said,  “You also have a tiny heart, who is quiet and delicate and lovely in a way where you just want to marvel at the perfection of her intricate, minuscule beauty.”

So I listened.
I got tiny.

And it feels so. damn. good.

Days go by and I don’t write any original content, when for years I wrote new content every single day, sometimes several times a day.  I turn down invitations for HUGE summits and events.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved doing these things.  I’m a very prolific creative and I’m always driven to share with others so I can be of assistance.  So I wasn’t going against myself by being big.  I like being big.

But consciously being small, was a revelation.

And what’s so interesting, is that I feel the part of me that is used to being BIG & being out there, loud, speaking up and taking on big challenges…

that part of me has been so used to being in charge (and effectively so, I love Her)…
that she is having a knee jerk reaction every time I go to do something, to take over and lead.
She is so used to being in the lead she has almost become my instinctive first move.

And then I feel the distinct STOP of my body, my tiny self puts a hand up to my big self.

She says “not now Lion Heart.  Time to be small.”

So I sit here, in this tiny space in which I hear my smallness fluttering like a very special, delicate thing that I want to love, embrace, protect and care for with such kindness & awareness.

The kind of tiny-ness one feels a need for when mending a broken heart.
Or losing someone we love.
We just want everything to be still and small.

I hear the silence & the lovely music of her little, knowing voice.
And I bathe in the gift of my smallness.

Even when my BIG self gets nervous, my tiny self says:
be still.
keep your energy compressed into tiny points of light.
let its compact, atomic force, feed you at such depths that starlight will burst from your eyes when it’s time to be big again.”

And so it is.

And I realize, there is such a thing as powerful smallness.

This is a whole other level of being small.

This is not being small because you don’t believe in yourself.
Or hiding out because you’re afraid.
Short-changing yourself or undercutting your dreams.

That’s not the kind of smallness we’re dealing with here.

We’re talking about the smallness that is required before a big expansion.

Before a star becomes a gorgeous supernova, it must contract and collapse into itself.
Compact all of its energy into such a tiny point of light.
And then it explodes all over, leaving beautiful formations of stardust, which births new stars.

And this is a whole other level of bigness too.
Because bigness, when ungrounded, when out of alignment with our soul can be destructive to the purest essence of our expression.

Just like smallness can take a turn towards self-sabotage and self-repression…
Bigness can turn into not trusting, becoming overly busy, needing to prove ourselves to the outside world or craving the validation of being seen or approved of by others.

In the end, the invitation from my small self to play in her world for a bit makes sense.  

Because next week, I’m unveiling some things to you that I never have before.
I’m going to my edge in vulnerability, in deep changes in some of the ways in which I offer my services and my heart to you and the world.

It’s necessary for a contraction to happen before the expansion.

All expansion is preceded by contraction.

In the contraction we give ourselves the space to gather the energy we need before going big again.  In this tiny space we can hear the voice of our Soul and honor the most essential part of our being.  We go deep into self love and self care, so that we are ready to put our soul’s work out there in an aligned, healthy way when we it’s time to go “big”.

And while bigness is traditionally viewed as more powerful, there is a quiet, still power to the trust that smallness requires.  And it can be just as magnetic.

So, this week, before I go to my edge next week and do the scary, big things, I listen to my tiny self. She says…

You don’t have to be the loudest voice.
You don’t have to be the biggest.

You can draw the things you love to you with the power of stillness & a delicacy reserved for the most precious things, like newborn children or butterfly wings.

In smallness, there is power too.


How are you honoring your smallness?  Have you found that there is power in smallness too?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.




selling honey to kings & growing moon coffee (the one true thing I know about living your purpose)


This lovely, diminutive woman with the British accent, the white button-down shirt covered in green fern prints and bright, messy blonde hair had my heart soaring under fluorescent lights in a tiny room that smelled of a fresh coat of paint and new construction.

It was the last day of the retreat I lead for women every year in the mountains of Panama and this woman who I had asked to come and give us a presentation on how she found her passion, was captivating all of us with her story of how she built a business that sells honey to kings & ex-presidents.

“I was working a very high paying job in London and I wasn’t happy.
I knew this was not what I wanted to be doing with my life.  So I quit 
my job, bought property here and spent the first year that I was here hiking in the jungle & getting massages, trying to find the answer to “what am I supposed to be doing with my life?” Logically it made no sense what I was doing, but I just had this feeling that coming here to this very remote little town in Panama was going to give me the answers I was seeking.”

She weaved the rest of her fascinating tale, sharing with us how, by a twist of circumstances, she stumbled into tasting local honey, then studying beekeeping, then discovering she actually had an incredible talent for it.  All along being led mysteriously to all of the answers, simply by following her hunches.

Even when she was cheated by a local beekeeper who sold her toxic sugar and killed many of her bees, she kept going.

“I discovered that I had an incredible palate for honey–I can taste the honey my bees make and tell you exactly what plant they fed on to produce that honey–it’s an odd thing in my physiology that actually makes me incredibly good at what I do and able to produce some of the most high quality honey in the region.

But I really discovered that this was my true purpose when some very hard roadblocks were put in my path in the beginning of my business.”

One year a man sold her sugar to feed her bees that ended up being toxic, which killed many of her bees & made her honey harvest unsellable (because the bees just synthesize the toxins in the sugar right into the honey).  While many beekeepers around her were sold the same sugar and still chose to mix the low amounts of toxic honey their bees produced with corn syrup and sold it as “pure raw honey”, she scrapped her harvest and stayed committed to only selling pure, high quality honey from well-treated bees.

“You know you really have a passion for what you are doing when things like this happen to you and you are determined to produce your work the way you feel is right and you keep going even in the darkest moments.  Some people in my industry have even been murdered and their goods stolen. You really have to have a passion for what you do, it keeps you going.”

The result?

Two years later, she is producing the most high quality honey in that region of Panama.  Kings and ex-presidents buy her honey & some even travel across the world to visit her farm and see how she does things.

When I asked her “do you ever worry someone will steal your methods and pass it off as their own?”, she said “true quality and what I do is inimitable.  I was born to produce honey in this way and no one will ever do this like I do this.  So I don’t worry.  You can’t create replicas of high quality work with cheap shortcuts and supplies.  No one can be me except me”.

When she was done telling her story, I was nearly in tears of inspiration.

And this was not the only time I felt this way during the retreat I was leading here in Panama.

A few days earlier, I had taken the participants to visit a local, eco-sustainable coffee farm, run by a husband and wife team.  


The husband led us on a coffee tour and told us the story of how he was led to his coffee business, as we sipped some of the most delicious dark roasted coffee I have ever tasted, at the top of a mist covered mountain bursting with tropical flowers and coffee plants.

Their stories were actually strikingly similar.

“I was going to retire in Italy and came to Panama on vacation.  When I saw Panama I just knew I wanted to retire here.  I began looking at properties to purchase and build a house on, where I could retire in peace with my wife.  I knew absolutely nothing about coffee.  One day a man called me to tell me there was a coffee farm for sale and did I want to look at it as a property just to see it? I instantly fell in love with the property.  I had no intention of growing and selling the coffee, but I followed my hunches and developed an interest in coffee.  

A few years later a coffee shop in Seattle bought 500 pounds of my coffee and called me a week later to ask for more because they had completely sold out of my coffee in just a few days!

When I found out they had sold it for six times what they paid me for it, it just didn’t feel in alignment to work with them anymore. Even though they offered me a lot of money to sell more to them, I turned them down.”

People from around the world flew down to Panama to visit his farm and beg him to sell them his coffee.  Each time he would turn their large sums of money down because it didn’t feel aligned. Until one day a man from Denmark arrived.

“He actually cared about how the coffee was grown and that my workers were well treated & taken care of.  He took a true interest in what I was doing to improve working conditions for coffee harvesters in this region and was fascinated over the fact that I actually grow my coffee in accordance with the moon cycles.

I think we should leave things better than we found them.  And there are so many people who come here, grow coffee and make tons of money but don’t give anything back to the community or put chemicals in the land.  I didn’t want to do things that way.  I’ve always made high quality my priority.

After that man’s visit I ended up selling my coffee for $30 a pound to that man from Denmark.

We sell out of our harvest every year since.  Coffee experts from around the world come to taste my coffee now and learn.”

My heart could have burst hearing this man’s story.

And the honey woman’s story.

This year has been a difficult year for me in many aspects and a wonderful one too.  Many things that were previously in alignment with my soul suddenly stopped being so.

At the end of last year, my dog Lucy’s death broke my heart and left me reeling, questioning so many things about who I was truly called here to be and what actually fulfilled me.  

I found myself questioning everything I had built and a bit frightened that many things that previously felt in alignment were no longer feeling nourishing to my soul.  

I couldn’t figure out the answers, but what I did know was to follow the hunches of my soul.  My soul told me to travel.  My mind said “how the hell is that supposed to help you find your answers?” But I did what my soul told me to do anyway, even though I felt afraid.  Years of NOT listening to my soul have taught me that it never ends up well when you don’t listen.

So off I went.  To Bali, Iceland, Alaska, California, Panama, Italy & Santa Fe.

To lands that took my breath away, emptied me out, filled me with rivers, star-crowded skies, ancient glaciers & the vast emptiness of the Universe.


And in each place I visited I found a little piece of my soul.  A little piece of the puzzle.  The space and silence to hear the answers I needed to mend the shattering Lucy’s death brought into my life (which I am so grateful for), Great Soul that she was in the tiny body of a dog.

And I saw myself and the stories of so many in our community here, reflected in the stories of these two amazing people.

What these two stories had in common were that NEITHER of these two amazing people had ANY idea that what they were now so passionate about was what they were meant to do.  

In fact, at a quick glance, it seemed they had “stumbled” upon their passion & purpose “by accident”.

But actually, I knew better.

I’ve been teaching creatives and visionaries how to live a soul-aligned life (and as a result create a soul-aligned business) for over 5 years now.

And as is with everything we are asked to be a mirror for in our work, I have been walking and deepening into that path myself, too.

I’ve guided a lot of people in finding their purpose by now and what I’ve discovered is that finding your purpose is not a logical process.

In fact, it is all about creating the space to hear the voice of your soul & then having the courage to follow what it says.

When you listen to the voice of your soul, you will be led into many unknown places.  Places your brain can’t “figure out”.  Your “hunches” will often make no logical sense and often the hunches reveal only the next step, not the entire plan.  

Stepping into the unknown like this can be very scary to our egos.  Our egos need security, plans & an exact “how to” guarantee that it will all turn out okay.

But finding the work of our soul is hardly ever such a clear-cut path.

We can make plans, but they won’t always go as planned.

In fact, it’s something that can never be “figured out” in the mind and guaranteed to work.  If you wait to “figure out” things before you do them, you will never do anything.

Often, doing the work of our soul looks the opposite of neat & figured out.  Mostly, it looks like messily stumbling around in the unknown, trying different things to see how they feel…until one day we find the thing that lights our life on fire, the kind of fire we long to be consumed by.

Both the honey bee woman & the moon coffee man had just followed their own internal hunches without always having the answers or the next steps in the plan and as a result had been led down a magical path of alignment.

In fact, both of them told me “it’s really amazing how when you’re doing what you’re meant to do, all sorts of helpers show up to support you and help you move forward”.

The honey bee woman has attracted heads of state to her honey and the coffee man tells me people who teach him new things about growing his coffee show up to his farm tours every month and stay afterwards to show him how to make a certain process more efficient etc…

They both care about the environment, the land & the eco-system in which they had built their businesses.  They care about high quality & leaving their surroundings in better conditions than when they found them.

There were many temptations to abandon their principles and make money the “fast, cheap & easy way”, but they chose not to do that.

Instead, they chose to do what felt in alignment and integrity with their souls.  And the results spoke for themselves–their offerings were highly regarded around the world and the blessings continue to come.

I tell you this story today, my love, because this is what it is to live a soul-aligned life.  

And this is the one true thing I know about living your purpose:

The road ahead of you may sometimes be covered with mist, the exact steps may not be clear beyond the first step, your mind might question the direction in which you feel pulled…

but if you follow the gentle pull of your soul, if you make it a priority to create space every day to hear the voice of your soul and you heed your soul’s gentle guidance, you will be naturally led into your passion AND you will succeed.

Galaxies will line up to support you in flourishing through that which is in alignment with your soul.

The same thing happened to me this year as I took one step into the other, often with no visible road ahead, just trusting my hunches as they guided me.  Little by little synchronicities showed up, people showed up to support me on the paths I felt newly called to explore in my work.  Deeper clarity slowly began to come and a stronger connection to my soul.

Because, as I reminded my retreat participants this week, the entire Universe is just waiting for you to step into alignment with your soul so that it can finally shower you with the support and abundance it was born to shower you with.

So if there is a gentle voice that has been whispering to you, beckoning you like a siren song in a new direction…

please listen to it.

The magic that is awaiting you is something that you can’t even imagine right now, but it is there nonetheless, waiting to unfold.

In the comments below I’d love to hear what your soul has been pulled to lately and whether or not you are honoring that gentle pull.  Are you struggling with fears of stepping into the unknown your soul beckons you into?  If so, how are you dealing with it?


crying in a barn in Tuscany (or why sensitivity makes you a badass)


Disclaimer: The horse whip in the picture was handed to me when I got on the horse and no I did not use it on my horse There are many ways to handle your horse without resorting to using a whip. I’m more of the horse whisperer type ;-).

There I was standing ankle-deep in manure & hay, in the middle of a horse barn in Tuscany, Italy, crying my eyes out.

It was a good deep cry, the kind you unleash as a child whenever your mother disappeared around a corner in the grocery store and you are sure she has gone forever, leaving you to die in a wilderness of brightly-colored cereal boxes and fluorescent lights.

Or the kind you usually only have when you’ve closed your bedroom door and you are finally alone.

Except I wasn’t.
I was in a horse barn with 7 strangers looking at me blankly, waiting for me to climb on my horse so our lesson could begin.

This story should start here. But first I have to take you back to 8 months ago.
When my dog, Lucy, died.

Many people just see a dog as a dog. A random pet in their home.
But I did not.

Lucy had been with me for 18 years. She had been with me through breakups, through my family practically disowning me for 6 years when I followed my soul (and subsequently went against some of their religious traditions) and through the hardest times of my business when I barely had enough money to eat.

During some of the darkest nights of my soul, Lucy had curled up next to me in bed, sniffing at me in a way that was so rude & so diva-ish that it made me laugh, immediately pulling me out of my darkness.

When she died, my heart broke in two.  I still can’t talk about it for too long without crying a lot.  The grieving process is still ongoing for this one.

So let’s flash back to the horse barn, where I’m crying my eyes out.


That day when I got to the horse farm, I was nervous.
I was born in the year of the horse (Chinese astrology) and I have always had a very strong connection to horses. They are large, powerful beings.

In fact, their power has always intimidated me a little bit.

As soon as we walked up to the horses, I noticed one of the horses.
The most intimidating looking one. And it was eyeing me up and down.

My mind said “I do NOT want to be assigned to that horse! That horse seems like my worst fear come true! Too scary!!”.

My soul said “that’s the horse you need. I know you’re afraid, but she is your medicine”.

I had no idea why my soul was saying such crazy things.
And I said to myself, “how much you wanna bet that’s the damn horse they assign to me?”.

10 minutes later everyone has been assigned to their horse, and I was the last one left.

Sure enough, guess what horse they bring in for me to ride?

The one I was most afraid of.

That morning I had been talking with the group of women I was traveling with about synchronicity. Everyone on the trip had already received a powerful, synchronistic sign.

“Mine hasn’t come yet, but I know it will”, I said to the car load of women as we made our way through beautiful Tuscan fields & hills towards the horse farm.

When the handler brought the horse I was most afraid of, to me, he said:
“this is your horse…

…her name is Lucy”.

You know how sometimes an emotion comes on so strong and so fast that your mind doesn’t even have time to think about holding it back or processing it before you express it?

That happened to me.

As soon as he said “her name is Lucy”, I felt like a punch in the gut knocked all the wind out of me.  I began full on weeping in front of everyone before I even had a chance to think about what was happening.  It was a full on bodily reaction.

Completely bewildered by this emotional reaction that had overtaken me and through heaving sobs I explained to the horse handler that my dog had died in December and that her name was Lucy.

As I cried in front of everyone in the barn, loudly, unabashedly and exactly how my body wanted to cry, a fleeting thought came to my mind… “should I be embarrassed?”.

My whole life I have been very sensitive. I have felt things deeply. I’m what you would classify as a “Highly Sensitive Person” or an empath. That doesn’t mean I’m weak.
Or that I can’t handle anything.

It just means things affect me deeply and I feel things very profoundly.
I cry at movies and seeing people cry makes me cry.  I have to avoid watching the news because it can knock me out emotionally for days.

And for years I spent my life trying to hide it, show that I’m tough and pretend like nothing was affecting me.  For years, I was mortified of my sensitivity and letting others see it.

We live in a world where showing emotion and vulnerability is viewed as weak.
Annoying. Overly dramatic.

And so from a young age I developed a false mask I like to call “I’m fine”.
I remember my mother telling me that at 7 years of age, I fell and scraped my knee very badly.  She could see the tears welling up in my eyes as she said “are you okay?” and I responded to her “I’m fine” and got up and walked away, even though she could tell I was hurting.

I maintained this mask with me most of my life. A warrior shell with a soft gooey inside only a few I trusted got to see.

Being sensitive was something embarrassing and that could be used against you.

Except that it started to make me feel numb.  And eventually, it developed into physical illness, as I waited in the parking lot of a hospital to find out if I had a life-shortening auto-immune disorder.

In my case I knew this had come upon me because I had spent so many years suppressing who I really was (including my sensitivity), in order to please others and not make others uncomfortable.

In that moment I knew things had to change. So I began to be more honest with my emotions,
I began to remove the warrior mask and let feelings flash across my face.
My health improved.
I felt happier.
I attracted people into my life who loved me for me.

And I noticed that me being honest with my emotions began to encourage others to do the same.

So that brings me back to where I was, standing in horse manure, crying with abandon, with my hands on my horse, Lucy.

I thought the horse handler would be annoyed and think I was crying because I was afraid to ride the horse, or because I was just a “ridiculous” person…I noticed myself begin to contract and admonish myself for expressing my emotions so freely.

But then something else unexpected happened.

That man gently took my hand in his.  Looked into my eyes.  And said in his broken Italian-accented English:

“We need more people in the world like you.  Most people, they just see a dog like some dog, unimportant, or a pet to entertain them.  You are not one of those people.  I have a dog, a Rhodesian, and I feel the same way about my dog.  You have reminded me that we need more of this in the world.  More like you.  Thank you for this.”

And there it was.

There were many parts of me that wanted to shut down that day.  Cover up the fact that I was crying.  My mind wanted me to be embarrassed and explain myself.

But the world is already full enough of people covering up what they really feel and pretending they’re okay when they aren’t.

The world is full of people who see vulnerability as weak and hide their sensitivity in shame.

But in this world, the truly brave thing to do is to feel.
Feel strongly. Feel openly.

Often the very thing we are most embarrassed about in ourselves is our greatest strength.

And if there is anything I have learned is that that sensitivity that made me cry loudly in front of a barn full of people I had just met, is my greatest strength.

It’s that sensitivity that allows me to be deeply intuitive & psychic and help others.
It’s that sensitivity that makes me so good at what I do (a guide for helping you hear the voice of your soul so you can live a soul aligned life).
It’s that sensitivity that has allowed me to hold space for people in their darkest moments.
And it’s that sensitivity that has always connected me to empathy for other human beings and fighting for justice for those who are in the margins of our society and mistreated.

We need more of this in the world, love.
We need more compassion, more empathy, more people feeling fully self expressed and free to be who they are, without shame.

So today, I want you to know that your greatest gift is your sensitivity.
Your vulnerability.

And that open vulnerability is the most powerful, most courageous act you can commit in a world full of warrior masks and pretend-coolness.

When we feel openly, we encourage others to break past their masks and feel their own hearts.  When we express as our bodies want to express we help to liberate others to express their deepest desires and be free.

When we are vulnerable we create powerful connection with other human beings that allow us to see that we are all one and there is no such thing as “other” or “enemy”.

This is the most amazing part of this story.
As I rode Lucy through the gorgeous Tuscan countryside, she had the exact same mannerisms as my dog.  She was stubborn just like my dog.  She was the only white and black horse (the other ones were black or brown) and Lucy was a white dog with black patches on her fur.

I felt the presence of my dog Lucy with me that entire ride.  And on and off I cried openly.
It was almost as if she was saying…

“you were afraid of this horse, because you thought it looked like the most powerful horse.
And that was intimidating to you.  But don’t fear your power, Lisa.
Your power lies in your sensitivity.  Express openly.  Feel deeply.  THAT is power.
That is power.

So this one’s for all you sensitive, deep feeling souls out there.
For all of you vulnerable beings who hide out for fear of ridicule.

Wear that heart on your sleeve.

Because that, in this day and age, is true power.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below, what is your greatest gift that you tend to feel embarrassed by?  How can you bring that gift more into your daily life & work?  Let me know in the comments below!


the thing that changed everything in my life & business


picture of me in Iceland by Kym Pham

A few years ago, I started to notice a pattern with almost all of the 1:1 clients I was working with.   I kept noticing that everyone I was working with for the past 5 years was struggling with the same basic things over and over again.  It was always a combination of these things:

1. Knowing there was something they were called here to do, but not knowing exactly what that was–feeling foggy and stuck around it.

2.  Knowing clearly what they were called to do as their purpose in the world, but not knowing HOW to say it, brand it, market it & make it happen so that they could finally live their purpose in a business that felt aligned (and that was profitable).

3.  Having already spent a lot of time, energy & effort on some of the most popular business growth/training programs out there, having read all the books & absorbed all the information possible to build what they wanted to build, yet not being able to implement all of the amazing content in these programs.  Feeling overwhelmed, stuck & stagnant as to how to apply all of this info to THEIR lives and businesses to build a truly soul aligned brand.  Not a brand that was using the same tactics that everyone else was using.

4.  Having lots of fears, anxiety & limiting beliefs that were holding them back from: taking it to the next level, getting more clarity & knowing the exact soul-aligned steps to build a life and business they deeply desired.

5.  Wanting to make a positive impact in the world but not being able to because of limiting beliefs, a business that was out of alignment or not knowing HOW to make that impact with their gifts.

Every single client would say to me “Lisa, you are my last resort, I have tried everything and I still have not gotten the results I want”.   

A few weeks to months later of working with me and going through my Soul Alignment Process, they had gotten the results they had been trying to unsuccessfully get for years.

What was creating such rapid transformations in my clients?

Well, not too long ago I had been in this place myself at the end of the first year in my business.  I had bought a lot of programs and books on how to build a business that gave me the life I wanted and that was truly nourishing to my soul.  And all I had to show for it was 40 pounds of weight gain, depression, burnout from working 12 hour days every day and barely being able to pay my rent every month.

It wasn’t until I had a total break down that I realized I hadn’t done the PRE-WORK that is the most important requirement for any successful purpose-based business.

I had never stopped to really dig deep into my soul and get really clear on what my true purpose was and HOW I wanted it to manifest itself in my business.  What was the clear picture of how I wanted that to look?  NOT driven just by my ego–but what was the clear picture that allowed my soul & ego to work together?

AND, most importantly, I had never looked at all the ways I was blocking that kind of clarity and blocking the upper levels of success, the aligned income & the recognition my work could receive so I could make more impact in the world.

I had built the business I thought would make money and most people would want, but I was not happy (and for all the money and effort I had spent I wasn’t making the money I wanted to make either!).

What I wanted was a business that really reflected the uniqueness of my soul, the beauty of the art I was here to create in the world with my work and that allowed me to make great money while serving people.

Offerings that made me stand out and felt good for me to deliver vs. burning me out in the same business model everyone else had.

Blog posts that touched people deeply down to the core.

Clients/customers that I felt jazzed up to work with.

A support team that felt like a family that had my back.

And I wanted to feel GOOD running my business.  Confident, clear, always knowing the way forward, creating things in the world that truly helped people.

It’s not that the programs that I and my clients were buying were bad (though some were), there was something else in the way. There was something we were doing in our work together that was missing from those amazing courses, that was causing everything to “click” for them in a short period of time.

It was the same work I had done on myself when I had my “big breakdown” a year and half into my business.

The work of clearing out all of the stuff that was preventing me from hearing the voice of my soul, that was causing me to self sabotage, that was causing me to stay stuck, that was creating that fogginess and overwhelm that blocked me from being able to IMPLEMENT in my business and truly put myself out there.

When I did that work, what I call now my Soul Alignment Process, my business skyrocketed within a year to its first six figures, and soon after multiple six figures.  I don’t say that number to show off–but only to show you the TRUE DYNAMICS of how to create life changing impact for yourself and others with your work.

It’s not about the blueprints or getting the right “formula”–it’s about something much, much deeper.

As I began to do this work with my clients and watched their lives and businesses take off in the best of ways, I noticed that I was working on the same things with my clients, over and over again.

I realized this was actually the symptom of a much larger issue that faces those of us who want to serve the world with our gifts, who dare to desire more fulfilling, purpose-aligned lives and who want to make a great living doing what we love.

I remember the day I realized this, I said a little “prayer” to the Universe to give me guidance on what I could create to help with the above common patterns I was seeing, on a greater scale.  The things that were causing so many of us to leave our purpose on the curb and spin our wheels instead.

At that time I only had 1:1 clients who invested in a $15,000/year program with me and I knew there was a much larger audience of people out there feeling the same way, but who perhaps didn’t have the time or financial resources available to them to invest at that high of a level in getting unstuck and making an impact.

The next morning I woke up with an entire program in my head.

In my dreams I had literally been shown the entire program, from end to end.

An eight-step process that teaches you how to clear out all of the limiting beliefs, anxiety and overwhelm that are holding you back from getting soul-deep clarity on your purpose and from there build a brand or business that is a true reflection of your soul in the world.

When you get that–you truly have it all.

That kind of alignment is what creates the TRUE life changing impact you crave in your life and in turn allows you to make that impact in the lives of those around you.

When we show up in alignment with our deepest gifts, we liberate others to do the same.

So, I pulled out my big white sheets of sketching paper, my favorite color markers and I spent the whole day dreaming this program up from the memory of my dream.

I took all of the best work I was doing with my 1:1 clients and distilled the core truths into 8 value-packed audio modules with worksheets.  I interviewed my most successful and brilliant friends and colleagues for a series of bonus interviews and the program was complete.

I launched it a few months later and it was an absolute HIT.

My original goal was to get 10 people in the program–we ended up with 50.

And in the next 8 weeks of the program, the breakthroughs that began to happen in that group were nothing short of a miracle. The forum for the program was buzzing with people having massive breakthroughs that they had been trying to have for YEARS.

I knew something special had been born.  

To this day Impact™ remains my most popular, transformative program for soul & purpose driven business owners who want to overcome all of the things that are holding them back from getting clarity, building profitable businesses & truly making a positive impact in the world.

The results have been nothing short of spectacular (you can check out all of the amazing testimonials here).

After months or even years of struggling, people come to this program and tell me THIS is the program that made all the difference for them.  

“I WISH I had this program several years ago when I started my business—this should be a prerequisite to coaches, entrepreneurs and thought-leaders looking to start or grow their business.”  -Sirena Bernal, www.sirenabernal.com

And my favorite part is that they tell me that after they get clear & soul-aligned in Impact™, they are able to return to all the old programs they bought before and never implemented and actually implement the amazing content in those programs.

This has been the most powerful program I have ever invested in even at a fraction of the cost of other trainings I have attended. There are so many specific teachings that have guided me to new insights both in my own life and ideas that I have already used with clients. It has helped me to be bolder, trust myself and move faster than before (and not only in my business). Lisa’s support was spot on, there for both good council and accountability. Thank you for the impact program!” –Elis Shine– Coach, Entrepreneur

I only open Impact™ for enrollment LIVE once a year.

And it is finally open for enrollment this year.

I’ve kind of done something a bit crazy this year–I decided to offer it at 50% off this year.

But that offer is only open until October 10 at midnight eastern time.

So, I want to invite you to come check out the program by clicking here.

And I hope to see you on the other side in our Impact™ community after you sign up!

When you join, you get lifetime membership, so you can do the program every year with the growing list of alumni of the program and get to network with an incredible community of soul-driven business owners like you.

In 8 weeks you could be exactly where you are right now, or you could be on track to finish 2015 in a profitable, soul-aligned business, with an amazing community and network of supporters you met in the Impact™ program.

You decide, love.

Come join us in the program everyone calls “the game changer” for creative, soul centered business owners.

With love & devotion,

Lisa Fabrega

ps:  Have you been catching the AMAZING live interviews I’ve been doing on Periscope this week with Impact™ alumni?  If not, make sure you’re following me on Periscope @LisaFabrega.  (You can download the f.ree app from your phone’s app store–you should have this app if you’re a business owner, trust me.)

Here are the interviews you’ve missed so far (click each alum’s name to watch their interview):

Maisha Hudson → the Impact alum who made me weep with the video she posted in our Impact forum about her incredible breakthroughs just that first week.  Click here to watch Maisha’s inspiring interview.

Nina Andrijanic → within 8 weeks in impact, she had a clear direction on her business, was no longer afraid to put herself out there, had her first clients & got invited to be part of a large international expert summit!  Two years later, she is still using the tools she used in Impact™–find out how Nina achieved results so quickly by clicking here to watch her interview.

Maia Macek → .finally stepped into the business that reflected her true calling, overcame visibility fears & booked her highest paying client with her new message, just one week after joining Impact™  Click here to see how Maia did it and watch her interview.