I work with people who know that they’re supposed to be making a big contribution but for reasons they can’t quite pin down, they’re just not doing it. I help to light that inner spark that sets their revolution in motion.
The past 2 months have brought the most challenging times I have been through in a while.
Within the span of 2 months:
My dog, who has been with me for 17 years, was diagnosed with chronic kidney failure and her imminent death became very real to me. I think somehow I had assumed that she would live with me forever. But the truth revealed itself.
In between having to change her diaper several times a day, sticking a needle in her every day and administering at-home dialysis treatments to flush out her kidneys while desperately trying to get her to eat and grieving the imminent loss of one of the great loves of my life, I also had the biggest launch of my entire business (Impact™).
I invested all of my savings into it (and went into some debt too) making sure we could help as many people as possible with the Impact™ Video Series. I had several nights of waking up in a panic, realizing my entire safety net was gone, and was forced to surrender and trust in the voice of my Soul telling me to do this.
And as what usually happens when you serve more people and cast a wider net, we got some of the most horrible hate emails and comments that we have ever gotten in the last 5 years of my business. Even though I have always had a tough skin when it comes to that, I’m human and my rawness over my dog slowly dying, softened some of my shields and some of the comments really hurt me.
I had to let go of several people who had been part of my life intimately for many years, but who were no longer growing with me and were more interested in staying in their old stories of projection, separation, jealousy and competition than trying to break through and connect, heart to heart. I grieved that too. And grieved for them, unable to move past their old stories and choose true, authentic connection and love.
Several people I have supported for years and given so much of my heart and time to, turned against me as they clumsily started to find their own leadership. I felt like I was caught in a real life version of Mean Girls. It sucked.
I realized it was time to cut one of my most beloved programs (and the main source of my income for the past 3 years). Another scary decision.
And I had to send a cease and desist letter to someone who was using copyrighted phrases of mine and passing off my intellectual property as her own ideas.
The amount of projection, negativity and contraction I have been experiencing in the past 2 months has felt like an onslaught of attacks. The amount of grieving I’ve had to do was more than I’ve done in many years. I usually wake up full of sunlight and excitement to start the day. Most days in the past 2 months have felt like a cloud was over my head and I had to work the tools I teach like never before. (Thank God for the tools!)
To say the past 2 months have been rough would be an understatement.
Now, I’m not sharing this with you because I’m feeling sorry for myself.
I’m sharing this with you because I don’t think this is happening just to me.
We are living through some very contracted times.
Everyone, everyone around me–clients, colleagues, family members, friends…
are ALL sending me messages that amount to a huge collective “WTF is happening??”
And when my inner Seer taps into the collective, it feels like we are in a pressure cooker.
Industries are collapsing.
The old paradigms are dying.
The ways we used to do things aren’t working.
We are letting go of things that no longer serve us.
We are dealing with feelings of disappointment and hurt.
We are dealing with betrayal.
All of our fears are coming up.
We are letting go of people.
We are feeling exhausted and in some cases burned out.
We are questioning things we have put years of blood, sweat and tears into.
We are questioning things like our very purpose.
Things that used to feel right, don’t feel right anymore.
We feel irritated, hurt, emotional, doubtful or withdrawn more than usual.
Things we invested in to help us break-through didn’t pan out and we’re angry
with ourselves for having made bad decisions.
Clients and colleagues alike have messaged me telling me, “I don’t know what is happening? The traditional things I do to market my work are no longer working. I only got half of the people I was hoping to get for this program. What am I going to do?” or “I suddenly feel like I want to change the entire message of my business, what I’m doing feels like an itchy sweater now. Will I lose all of my clients?”
I get it.
I’ve been going through the exact same stuff.
And today, I want to help you find the beauty in it.
I want to offer you words that will soothe your soul.
And I write for you, what I need to hear myself.
We are all in this together.
A few weeks ago, I released a Seer Transmission video, in which I talked about how we are currently entering into a time of the Great Mother archetype.
The characteristics of the Great Mother archetype are:
Emptiness, Nurturing (Self and Others), Surrender, Renewal and Sanctuary.
And the shadows of the Great Mother archetype are:
Self-absorption, addictions to avoid emptiness, over-responsibility, codependency,
not valuing one’s truth, scarcity beliefs, limitations, feeling “not enough”, self-sabotage and resistance.
What does this mean?
We are being asked to enter into an alchemy that is deep.
We’ve been asked to enter into this alchemical transformation for years.
And if we have not begun that journey yet, due to fear and resistance, now is the time
where we cannot resist it any longer. This is the time where we are forced to change,
whether we like it or not.
The Great Mother asks us to empty ourselves of all that is no longer aligned.
Surrender everything that no longer serves.
Purge the things that hold us back from living our true calling on this planet.
She asks us to give birth to the truth of who we are.
To trust and surrender in the deep, unconditional love of the Universe so much that we are willing to let go of our attachments to how “things should be” and instead be pure,
That means that anywhere where you have been playing small, caught in ego, addicted (physically, mentally, spiritually or emotionally), in denial, sabotaging, suppressing, self-limiting or resisting your deepest purpose….
anywhere you have suppressed your own truth & voice and replaced it with another’s,
overworking yourself to death, pushing when it’s not time to push…
it all has to go.
And yes, the things that used to work to make money living your purpose, things like–working until you’re exhausted, speaking in a voice that is not your own, following a template that isn’t you, berating yourself or staying in codependent relationships with friends and even clients…
they no longer work.
Literally–you try to do them and you don’t get the results you used to get.
The Universe will not tolerate it any longer, out of love for you.
Whether we like it or not–a paradigm shift has occurred.
It’s a paradigm where we are finally visible in our full truth.
Where we own the purpose we were put here to embody and live.
Where we honor and love ourselves deeply and protect the inner child within.
Where we grant ourselves the unconditional love of our own internal mother.
And anywhere you have resisted that shift, you are being majorly detoxed right now.
Getting into deep, deep alignment is not always an easy-breezy experience.
Letting go of old, deeply ingrained patterns and beliefs can be a very emotional journey.
Seeing certain things for the first time, and seeing the truth, is sometimes painful.
Being asked to finally stand up and be the protector and defender of yourself, instead of expecting other people to come in and save you, can create a temper tantrum in the most “evolved” individual.
But here is why it’s necessary.
Because breakdowns lead to breakthroughs.
It is one of the laws of the Universe.
All which contracts, ultimately expands.
The stars in our Universe, contract, then explode and birth new stars.
The Universe is literally always expanding (Einstein discovered that).
On the other side of this seeming grey cloud we have over us right now,
on the other side of this contraction, is the birth of your true calling.
You are a supernova, birthing new stars.
And if you look closely enough, you can see the glimmers of light through the darkness.
I’ll share mine with you:
Even though we got the most amount of hate mail we’ve ever gotten, the number of gratitude emails that came pouring in were much higher. In fact, in the past 2 months I have gotten some of the most beautiful emails of gratitude from this community than I have ever gotten.
While I detoxed a few friends that were no longer aligned, I also had some new friends step in and support me in ways I have never been supported before.
We doubled the size of our community with the Impact™ launch and that means we have more amazing people here to be in communion with and to support us.
And I have been the most creative I’ve ever been.
I can’t wait to show you the stuff that I’ve been creating, I am so excited.
And I have deep clarity on the new directions in which this business needs to go so that it can fulfill its mission of serving as many people as we can.
And life continues to move forward, the sun continues to rise, the waves in the ocean continue to roll onto the shore and we are being carried by the cosmos into the next wave of our evolution.
It’s true that anything that isn’t rooted in love, compassion, kindness and service is dying. The businesses and individuals that will make impact in the future understand this and also know how to give without self-depleting. They know it is no longer an option to sacrifice the self as a bargaining chip for more love and approval. They know how to create their calling from their own internal guidance and truth.
And that is who we are becoming.
So my charge to you is to feel it all.
Let it fall apart.
Let your internal mother hold you through it all (whether you are a man or woman).
Use this as an exercise in true trust and Surrender.
Use this as an opportunity to finally release everything that keeps you from stepping
forward, fully into the light. Alchemize this experience as an exercise in showing you how strong you truly are. What is within is resilient, can be leaned on and dependable.
For you are the Great Mother. You are empty presence itself.
And within this space we birth that which is true, aligned and holy.
So tell me, what have you been learning in these last two months and what are you doing to get through this rough time? Let me know in the comments below.
I am floating in the middle of the ocean at 1:22 pm on a Thursday.
I am thinking to myself how vast this feels, how this feels like
exactly what I am supposed to be doing in this very moment.
In this state of salty suspension I am brainless.
I am slightly unsettled by this.
My brain is very active.
Especially during a massage.
That’s why I hate massages.
The minute I lie down a million voices inside my head compete
for attention. An hour later my sinuses have drained into the front of my face, I’m puffy and I’m more stressed out than when I lay down for this massage in the first place. No thank you.
But here in this watery expanse all that is left is a slight fuzzy staticky sound. I try to reach for the thought, but it doesn’t come.
I am the waves rocking back and forth.
I am a limitless pool of fish and wet wildlife unseen.
I am the lap of the Mother and I am nothingness itself.
I am exactly where I need to be.
But this is not a fully relaxed state.
I am aware that a small part of me wants to get out of the water.
She wants to be guaranteed safe. She wants to be in air conditioning and a soft cushy couch, where nothing ever happens.
This is the Pacific ocean. I can’t see anything. It is green and murky.
I can’t see what is at my feet. Or what is coming towards me.
A shark could feasibly be right underneath me.
I imagine what a bite and a tug would feel like and how I would react.
Would it be too late before I was completely under, unconscious?
My feet land on something hard and sharp buried in the sand.
I immediately jerk my feet up. Was that a shell? A fish?
A sting ray? Will I be screaming in pain in a few minutes?
I don’t like the unknown of the ocean.
How I can feel it is one of the most powerful things on earth
and you cannot predict how she will use that power, ever.
She is a lovely, wild beast, completely untamed.
A woman unto her own.
I am that woman.
We are that woman.
With crusted bits of salt & dried up pieces of seaweed in her hair.
And this is exactly where I need to be.
Forcing that small part of me to surrender.
To be batted around by the waves.
I am facing away from the sand, towards the grey-green entirety of it all.
Watching the growing waves coming towards me.
Huge waves that, standing on the beach, would completely tower over me and engulf my entire life in one thundering crash.
I watch the massive waves gathering way in the back towards the horizon, I watch them grow and grow as they roll towards me inviting, yet ominous.
I feel the tightening of my stomach as I unravel the part of me that knows anything could happen when that wave gets to me. And I don’t know what.
I could die. I could drown. I could completely let go.
When it finally reaches me, it gently lifts me up and places me back down, but I am never in the same position I was in. Always I am facing a different direction, my legs twisted in a different configuration, my arms struggling to catch their balance.
Deep calm and wild fear all at once.
And I’m in position for the next one.
There is no one on the beach today.
Yesterday I was in this exact spot and there was a family with 3 children, a husband and wife playing right next to me.
I watched the kids running head first into the huge crashing waves, getting completely beat up, twisted and turned, salt water up their noses and sand inside their bathing suits. They were screaming with excitement and I laughed and laughed and played just like they did.
But today is different.
Yesterday the ocean was playful and sunny, today she smells different
and isn’t sure if she wants to be menacing or nurturing.
Just like me.
I saw a movie this morning about a woman who has a wonderful life, traveling to some of the most beautiful places on earth. She reviews hotels and stays in magical places.
She is happy. She is doing good work.
She wonders what her place is sometimes.
Sometimes she meets interesting men on her travels and she wonders.
Sometimes she thinks it would be lovely to share this experience with someone.
Sometimes she can’t imagine anything better than to be having this experience alone.
Sometimes she is lonely.
Sometimes she wonders if she should have had children. There is nothing wrong. There is nothing to fix, she just is. The movie ends and there is no magical solution, she is just getting on a plane to her next beautiful destination, heading into the vast, oceanic expanse of her life.
Who knows what is next and who will cross her path. She is just diving into it without pushing herself to be anywhere other than where she is. She hopes she’s doing it right.
I feel like someone has made a movie about me.
Sometimes on stressful days, it would be nice to fall back into someone’s arms on the couch and make love, surrender to a force larger than my own.
And yet there is so much value to finding within you the strong, reliable part that will be with you no matter what. And to be able to lean on Her.
No one person will ever give you everything you need.
You are the soul mate you’ve been waiting for.
In my head a poem begins to form and a big wave catches me,
tumbles me upside down into a soundless landscape.
I keep trying to figure out what it is that you need.
I am trying all different angles and nothing seems to be working.
I am giving you my entire heart and you are withdrawn, going through
some deep and dark thing. Aligning.
At the bottom, with my face pressed against the sand and broken bits of seashells violently batting around my ears while the world is crashing around us underwater, I surrender.
There is nothing to do but this.
When I surface, the next wave hits me and this time, I invite her.
I invite her to pull all of the poison out of me.
Pull all that is not me, away, away, away.
Pull all that encumbers us and makes us small, back into her abyss.
Please, leave us clear, full of stars and tourmaline. Amen.
I say this prayer fervently as my head once again goes underwater
and the next giant wave washes over me.
I say it for myself and for all.
And suddenly I understand how to get out of the ocean.
I move forward towards the sand when the waves push me there.
I stop when she draws back in upon herself and wait.
When the next wave comes, I let her rock me towards the shore.
Little by little until I am finally on all fours, wet, trembling & panting for air on the sand.
Ready to walk.
A few days ago I was looking at my tarot deck and meditating on the
High Priestess card, as part of an assignment for an amazing class I am
taking by the brilliant Marybeth Bonfiglio. I ended up staring into that card
for 2 hours, meditating on it and downloading information into my Seer eye.
In the middle of doing that, I had a huge realization about one of the biggest
problems visionary entrepreneurs come to me for. The Fear of Visibility.
And whether you’re a man or a woman, I realized, the High Priestess can teach
us A LOT about ourselves and our fear of being seen.
In fact, she holds the key to us either succeeding or failing in getting our
Great Work out there. Want to know what the heck I realized that was so
mind-blowing and earth-shattering?
Well, my inner Seer was really talking, so once again, I turned on the camera
and free-flowed as my Seer spoke to me. PLUS I show you an amazing
meditation in the video, to help you end your fear of being visible once and for all
Check the video out below:
I also remind you in the video that I’m teaching a free webinar on Wednesday, Oct. 29
at 8pm Eastern (5pm Pacific) “How To Build A Successful Soul-Aligned Business
Without Burning Out or Selling Out”.
And rumor has it, I may be giving away private 1:1 Seer Sessions™ with me,
but only if you’re on the call LIVE.
You can register for that free webinar here.
And don’t forget that your last chance to save $1000 off of Impact™ is tonight,
October 27 at midnight Eastern time.
Click here to lock in the best price you will ever get for Impact ($1000 off)
So, what I want to know is–how did this video land with you?
Did it help? I’d love to know!
Post your realizations in the comments below.
So last week I posted on Facebook that I would use my “seer eye”
on anyone who requested me to “see them” within the next few hours…
Two hours later the post had gone viral and we had 200 people commenting.
I spent the next 3 hours responding to each person and sharing with them
what I “saw” about them and my intuitive hits about where their blockages were…
and it was amazing!
One woman, after getting my 2 sentence “seer transmission” on the Facebook
post, told me she had a fire lit under her (My Seer told her it was “time to go bigger”).
She went to her husband and they both revived and reinvested time and energy
into their blog and are super happy.
Many other people felt activated and had big breakthroughs from that post.
I’ve been really wanting to find a way to bring that to all of you…
And lately I have been getting SO many downloads about some BIG changes
I am feeling energetically in our environment and in the collective…
things that are affecting our business and are causing us to have to rethink
how we approach business in a new way.
One that doesn’t mean we have to burn out or sell out, but instead
build what we want to make impact with, in a soul-aligned, more fun way.
So I turned on my camera and just free-flowed as my Seer spoke to me
and I recorded a 27 minute Seer Transmission Video just for you with ALL
of my downloads about these big shifts that are happening.
Click on the video below to get the 411 and to hear what my inner Seer told me.
In addition to this video I’ve decided to offer a complimentary webinar,
next Wednesday, Oct 29 at 8pm eastern, 5pm pacific.
It’s called “How To Build A Successful Soul-Aligned Business Without
Selling Out or Burning Out”
And in that webinar I will go even deeper with these transmissions and
downloads I have been getting into my seer eye, so that I can help you
move through even more of the things that are blocking you from
making the income and impact you want.
Click here to sign up for this totally complimentary webinar training.
I actually do have to limit the attendees for this one because I do get tired from “seeing” a lot of people so have to keep this one a bit smaller.
So make sure you sign up now for your chance for me to See you
and to get in on this amazing content.
I’m beginning this post by letting you know that today I am “outing” myself
about something that I’ve been keeping hidden for a long time. Those who
are in my inner circle know about it and my clients have been direct recipients
of it. Still, up until now it has remained a relatively unknown secret.
But a conversation I recently had with a woman who was hesitating to join
Impact™ (now open for enrollment) made me realize this is not something that
can’t be hidden anymore, it doesn’t serve the collective and it doesn’t serve you
when I don’t speak about it.
In our email conversation, she was telling me that she felt really called
to start a business based on this very specific intuitive work that she does.
It is her true zone of genius, this work…but she wasn’t doing it, at least not fully.
Instead she was doing something else that was merely in her zone of
excellence (Gay Hendricks, the author of the Big Leap, identifies your
zone of genius is what you’re meant to do and your zone of excellence
is what you’re pretty good at, but not your true calling).
Why was she not doing the thing that she was deeply called to do?
Well she had this really scary scenario in her head about what it would
mean to really commit 100% to doing the thing she was called here to do
and show up more visibly in this work…
she was afraid that she would be judged as too “woo woo”
that people won’t take her seriously or think she is a weirdo…
therefore she will lose the love & approval of her community…
therefore people won’t want to buy what she has to offer….
therefore she will ultimately fail and have no business anyway.
So her subconscious mind was coming up with all sorts of reasons like
“there’s too much going on right now, I’ll work on it next year”
or “it’s been a hard year, so I need to rest now and do nothing”
And so, she was totally self-sabotaging without even knowing it.
Has this ever happened to you?
It certainly has happened to me and ALL of my clients.
It’s a paradox we deal with every day when we feel called to do
work that is also aligned with our soul and purpose.
Our deepest calling battles our deepest need for safety.
And then we freeze.
I dealt with this very same thing in the first 2 years of my business.
I started a business based on what someone else told me would be a great
money-maker, vs what I really wanted to do. 2 years later I majorly crashed.
I got so sick I couldn’t get out of bed for a week.
(When we don’t listen to that little nagging voice of the soul, our bodies have
a way of stopping us in our tracks so that we WILL listen.)
So I started listening.
I started posting the stuff I was afraid to share on my social media and in
my newsletters. Yes, I lost a ton of subscribers–about half of them actually.
That was scary. BUT the people who remained are the people, like you,
who are still here today. And YOU are the people I love to talk to, serve and
have conversations with. The other people, are just not my client, and that’s
okay–there will be someone out there that will be a perfect fit for them.
I also started attracting amazing clients that were my dream to work with
and then one night I went to bed asking for guidance on what I could create
that would serve the people I’m meant to serve, the most.
In my dream an entire new program came to me.
I woke up the next morning with the entire program in my head and with big
swaths of white art paper and markers I created the entire program.
Let me tell you, I was TERRIFIED, when I saw it all out there on paper.
I thought “no one is going to sign up for this–no one has talked about business
this way before. There’s all this spiritual stuff infused into it, some of the
perspectives on marketing go against what most people tell you to do…
my audience is used to me talking to them about detox stuff, why would they
want to sign up for this thing that’s all about overcoming the obstacles that
keep you from truly living your calling and making great money at the same time?”
But I put it out there.
I expected, at BEST, 20 people to sign up.
Instead, 55 people signed up.
I had mostly done 1:1 work up until that point but had a nagging feeling for
months at that point that my zone of genius was working with groups.
I was worried that because this program was pre-recorded content and
live group calls that the powerful energetic transmissions I send to my
clients 1:1 would somehow be lost.
Instead, the first week of the program, I had 20 people from the program
post in the forum or write in to us privately saying that they had had crazy
amazing energetic experiences listening to the modules that had propelled
them forward in their businesses and that they felt like I was right there with
them in the room, talking to them 1:1.
AND, that fear I had about working in groups vs. 1:1?
Well that got busted too–because within 1 week, I had clients have faster
results than any work I have ever done 1:1. We seriously had about 15
people in just one week, double their income, get clients for the first time,
overcome writer’s block that had lasted 2 years and more. It blew me away.
I thought to myself? “Wow, working on my soul-aligned biz doesn’t have to
be exhausting, hard and a lot of work. It can be easeful, fun and programs
can just come to me in dreams, effortlessly”.
This was a big realization.
Whenever we think of doing the work of overcoming our beliefs that hold
us back in our businesses, we think it’s going to be hard and so we can
shy away and not take action.
But here I had discovered a whole new way of working and moving
forward with my goals: alignment.
When I posted about this on social media, however, the same thing that
woman I mentioned at the beginning of this post was afraid of, happened to me.
Someone actually wrote that I was “evil” and doing the “devil’s work” for
talking about how my program came to me in a dream.
Another wrote “this is new age bullsh&t”.
Another accused me of making the whole story up.
BUT, here’s the part we don’t think about.
I had five times as many people say “thank you!!!” when I posted about it.
And I had 55 people in a program whose lives and businesses were
transformed forever in Impact™ because I dared to be “out” about it.
(Most of them wrote in their testimonials of the program that they wish
they had had this program before they purchased all the other ones,
that it should be required to take before all other programs, imagine!)
So, here’s my “confession”.
The one I’ve been skirting around for months.
The one that makes my heart quicken as I type this.
I am a Seer.
That means I can see clearly what most cannot see.
And the truth is that, my clients have come to me for my seer abilities
for years. I am able to see things about you that you can’t always see
and because I can “see”, I can see right through all the things that
are holding you back from getting the results you want, the things that
you never imaged were there, and the things no one else has been
able to see.
And I do it quickly. So that it’s easy for you to just get on with your great work
instead of toiling away for months or even years until you find your answers.
I have infused all of my Seer abilities into the Impact™ program, not just
in the modules, but also, you get me live for 4 calls–upon which I will
“see” you and coach you live. Being seen can be incredibly powerful.
It produces powerful results in minutes vs. months.
This is one of the reasons why Impact is only 8 weeks long.
Because we don’t need much more time than that.
It’s also why Impact is broken up into easy to follow modules that you
can listen to at your own pace, as you’re jogging, or taking the kids to school,
or cleaning your house.
I don’t think you need years to achieve your results.
You just need to be seen and get laser focused answers.
So I’m owning up to this today and saying it out loud for all to see.
Because I’m hoping that it will inspire you to no longer be afraid
of owning up to your amazing gifts. I’m hoping it will prompt you to
stop hiding your true calling from the world and instead step into
the powerful purpose you were meant to live in this world.
I hope you will stop hesitating to be visible and join us in the Impact
program. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
So tell me in the comments below, what’s one gift of yours that
you’ve been hiding, that you’d like to out? I’d love to know.