I work with people who know that they’re supposed to be making a big contribution but for reasons they can’t quite pin down, they’re just not doing it. I help to light that inner spark that sets their revolution in motion.


the truth about entrepreneurship

truth1

 

I’ve got a really big pet peeve that I need to share with you today.  And it’s rampant in our world of entrepreneurship/being a business owner.  And the picture above of me in Iceland has something to do with it…read on…

I got off the phone last week with a business owner who told me “I never realized that being a business owner meant so many ups, downs, twists & turns.  The way most people portray it it’s like suddenly you make it big and get to a point where it’s all smooth sailing and you’re only going up and up from there”.

And a year ago, in one of my programs, I’ll never forget as one of the women broke down on one our group calls, telling me “I am just now realizing that this is a lot of work and that it’s not just as easy as ‘I’m starting a business and automatically all of these clients are magically going to come to me and I’ll get to travel everywhere and have a charmed life as easy as 1-2-3’”.

And I can’t tell you how often I have coached women who are freaking out because they quit their jobs cold turkey to start their own businesses, without any savings or a plan because they saw someone’s pretty instagram pictures that made it all look so easy… and then they find out it’s not as easy as they thought.

The truth is, my love, it’s not easy.

Being a business owner is literally sometimes like a roller coaster.  Sometimes you’re totally hitting cruising altitude and you think you’ve finally gotten everything stable and then suddenly something shifts and you’ve got to hustle to turn it around.

Sometimes you have a ton of money in the bank and sometimes your bank balance is zero.  It is not gorgeous, perfectly put together pictures of tableaus on your instagram and a woman standing on a cliff overlooking the sunrise every day.

I’ve been through all of the above in the last 5 years of my business.

And if you don’t believe me, or think I’m just bad at my job for it not constantly being stable and perfect…. I’m currently reading Richard Branson’s autobiography (one of the world’s few BILLIONAIRES) and reading the history of his businesses is literally like being on a rollercoaster.  Yes, even Richard Branson has been stressed out, worrying how he is going to pay his employees at the end of the month, many times.

So, yes that picture up there of me in Iceland is real and it was joyful.  And yes, one of the most amazing things about having my own business is having the flexibility to travel to beautiful countries, and building your life as you want it.

But there is also an incredible amount of hard work that happens in between those amazing moments.  And a lot of self-doubt and some low points in between the high, amazing points, like seeing how you helped someone transform their lives.

Whenever someone tells me they want to own their own business, I tell them there are three things that they absolutely need to have in order to succeed:

1)  You have to be okay with handling instability & risk from time to time
Having your own business is not like having a 9-5 job where someone else is giving you a paycheck every other week.  You are the provider of your own paycheck and when you get to the point where you have to hire people to help you, you will be the provider of their paycheck as well.  Sometimes you will launch things that will fail, sometimes you will be in a lot of debt from your failures. Sometimes you will have to fire people, have to deal with some really jerky customers & there will be many times where you will think “I think it’s over” and then at the last minute, something will turn around and you’re back in the saddle again.

You have to be okay with things being this way from time to time, or it just won’t work. If you’re the kind of person who needs constant stability, don’t go into your own business.

2)    Invest in coaching with a mentor who does both internal & strategic work with you
This was one of the first things I did when I first started my business and throughout all years of my business I have had coaches and mentors in my corner.  I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I would not have gotten to where I got without having coaches in my corner.

I hired my first coach with no money in the bank–I had to put some of it on my credit card, borrow some money from friends & family members and took a huge risk of investing $3,000 and trusting it would pay back.  3 months later I had made my initial
investment back three times over.

It wasn’t magical–It was because I listened to my coaches and I put in the hard work.  I hustled.

And I picked coaches who would do internal spiritual work with me, because running a business, especially one that is an expression of your heart & soul, is an intensely testing experience and really grows you spiritually & emotionally.

It is imperative that you master mindset tools to keep yourself even when the roller coaster of your business is entering a downturn.  And as your business grows, it’s really important to have someone who will keep your ego in check & keep you in alignment with the truth of who you really are.

I have had experiences with coaches where they tried to teach me “their system” of growing their business, but in the end, what worked best for me, was to work with people who encouraged me to come up with my own answers, while guiding me based on what they have seen work as a loose template.

You’ve heard me say this a dozen times–the businesses that are the most successful are the ones where you are being your unique, full, authentic self.  Because there is no one else like you on the planet who can do thing quite like you do.  And your soul has all the answers, strategies and step by step systems you need to live your purpose with your business.

So make sure you work with someone who is addressing the internal, spiritual work that is needed to run a business and stay sane.  The work that will preserve the uniqueness of you & your true calling in your work, vs. becoming a cookie-cutter model of someone else’s business.   I would say that the internal, spiritual & mindset work I have done with my coaches is the most important work I’ve ever done to build up to a multiple six figure business.

You can have the best books, the most elite coaches & programs, but if you are not soul-aligned none of it will work, love.

And one last thing:  you have to be willing to invest in yourself and your business.
You can’t expect your clients to take leaps of faith and pay you for your services if you aren’t willing to take a leap of faith and invest in yourself, too.

It’s literally out of alignment to expect people to invest their money in your services, when you never push yourself to take that edgy leap yourself.

So invest in yourself and in coaching at least at the same price as you are expecting your clients to pay you, otherwise you’re not walking your talk.

3)   Join a tribe or mastermind

This one is so important, I could have written the entire article just on this point.  I don’t know where I would have been today if it wasn’t for the groups of women I have been a part of, as part of the many masterminds I have joined.

To this day I am still friends with many of the women I joined masterminds with.

Whenever I am going through a stressful time in my business, whenever I’m stuck on what I should charge for something, or what I should name my program, I have a group of women that I can instantly text for advice, brainstorming and support.


blog_2a

my most trusted confidantes and sisters

Within seconds at least one of them will volunteer to hop on the phone with me and support me.  There is absolutely no way I could have built what I have built without a group of peers who understand the level where my business is & who will have my back whenever I’m feeling stuck or confused.

When we try to go it alone in our businesses, everything takes three times as long.
We’re much more likely to self-sabotage because there is no one there to keep us accountable.  And let’s face it–many brains on your big idea is much better than just one.

It’s why for years, most of my programs have a group component to them.  It’s why I started the Rise Mastermind in the first place.  To this day, the women who have participated in Rise are still in touch with each other, visit each other, support each
other and still mastermind with each other.

blog_3a

Me with clients & participants of one of my mastermind programs like Rise.

So, my love, if you’re serious about taking your soul-centered business to the next level this year and you’re ready to accelerate your results & your sense of nourishment in your business…

If you’re ready for your business to reflect your true calling & claim your prosperity doing so AND you want to meet a group of amazing women who will become your soul sisters for life…

then apply now for the Rise Mastermind.

Applications close on Wednesday 8/26 (that’s only 3 days from now).

Don’t miss out, love.

It’s time for you to Rise.
And become the thought leader, world changer & paradigm shifter you were born to be.

With devotion to your calling,

1399403240

Lisa Fabrega

Comments

tingles & giggles & butterflies

invitation_3

“The tingles and the giggles are guiding you my love”, she says.

“What an odd horoscope”, I think.
But the statement feels true in my body.

I think of all the times in my life that I have had the tingles and giggles and butterflies and chills and goosebumps and what it was telling me.

And I realized, the tingles and the giggles are the way in which your soul’s voice speaks to you, affirming that something is truly aligned.

I know this flies in the face of what we’ve all been taught.
Which is that we must work ourselves to the bone in order to be worthy of our prosperity.
That there’s got to be a step by step strategy or structure that has been approved by your mind, in order for anything to have value.
That only through suffering can there be breakthroughs & achievements.

But did you know where this all comes from?
From an old belief we carry in the collective consciousness that says we are broken.
When we are broken, we cannot trust our ecstasy & our joy to lead us…
because it will lead us to “bad places”, broken places.

When we believe in the myth that we are broken, we can’t trust our soul’s guidance, our tinges and giggles, because how could guidance from a soul that is broken be trusted?

Coming from brokenness is the place where most experts unknowingly try to coach, teach and train you from. They aren’t doing it on purpose. Hey, I used to do this too before I woke up to the illusion. Most people teach and re-affirm your brokenness because we’ve all been so indoctrinated to re-affirm brokenness & believe in it that we don’t even know we are propagating it.

And so as leaders we fall into the trap of thinking that in order for our work to have any value, or to be purchased, or for people to want it, or for us to make an income, that we have to participate in this illusion of brokenness.

That we have to promise quick fix, easy 3 step processes with fast fast tangible results.
And that any work that is to do with the soul, the heart, the slow non-tangible things that truly transform your life beyond any step by step process…is not valuable.

So every time we feel a tingle or a giggle or a butterfly about an idea we want to try in our business, we suppress it.

“People don’t want to buy that”
“You’ve just spent 2 years building your business up to what it is and now you want to add this thing your heart wants to add, to it? You’re crazy. Everyone will leave! And you will be broke!”

Pretty soon we’ve lost the connection with our soul’s voice and we only want to listen to the mind. And the things you really long to bring into your business or your life, they take a back seat.  Because it doesn’t feel safe to follow ecstasy, joy, tingles & giggles.

Not in the world that says that the mind rules over the heart.
That strategy rules over soul.

Our minds try to rationalize what we think we want. We have pictures of what we’ve been taught is good for us by the experts in our lives or by what we’ve been indoctrinated into. We build lives and businesses from that.

And then one day we hear our soul saying something different. And we feel confused.
And our minds get scared and we stop the flow of the soul voice, we don’t follow the tingles and giggles. They could lead into the unknown, the uncertain, the different and what then?

Following the tingles and giggles, means following your joy.
And following your joy is revolutionary.
Because Joy comes from your wholeness–not brokenness.

How could anything that brings you tingles and giggles not be aligned with the wholeness of who you are called to be just because it looks different than what your mind thinks it wanted or had planned?

Imagine if we actually took the leap and followed the tingles and the ease, the giggles and the flow…and trusted deeply in that strange pull that makes no sense to the mind–that challenges it.

Imagine the wondrous bouquet of ecstasy that could arise in every area of your life by letting the tingles and giggles be your guide.

What sort of business would you actually run?
Who would you date?
What relationships would you cultivate?
What foods would you eat?
How would you move your body?

And why not use that as your guide?

Why not begin to let your wholeness guide you?
Because operating from your brokenness–how’s that working for you?
You may have had success and made some good money, but what good is that if you are burned out, exhausted & feeling trapped by your own business?

When you begin to believe that you are whole, you begin to listen to your soul voice & trust it.
Because how could you not trust that which comes from the wholeness of your being?

Trusting in your soul voice is the most profitable thing you could do for your life & your business, because in your soul there is a specific, unique encoded blueprint for you to live your soul’s purpose in the true prosperity that you were born to attract.

When you begin to operate in your business from the assumption that you are whole, you begin to feel worthy of choosing and loving that which pulls you into the unknown and challenges you into the whole, radiant person you were actually called here to be, instead of being afraid of it.

Your business reflects wholeness and attracts aligned people into your community for you to serve.

You start to enjoy what you do again.
You have the right team, the right clients.
Your creativity comes back.
Your “brand” reflects the truth of who you really are in in turn you become a lighthouse for others who want to step into their wholeness too.

So, my love, if you want to access your soul voice and learn how to hear it’s valuable whisperings of guidance…

Breathe in that joy, let the butterflies flutter, timidly take those steps having no idea what you are doing and not knowing where it will lead.

It cannot lead to anywhere bad in the end, because what is guiding you in the tingles and giggles is your wholeness, your ecstasy, your joy.

And that is your birthright.

It is our birthright to be whole, to be in joy, to be prosperous.
To be aligned with the truth of who we came here to be.

Don’t be afraid of the ecstasy just because it lies in the unknown and it looks different than you thought it would look like or than the outside world would tell you it “should” look like.

Leap into the beauty of your life.

If you want to dive deep into the process of allowing the soul voice to guide you in your business & life decisions and you’re a business owner who has been in business for at least 1-2 years, you’ve had success but feel like something is “missing” or you’re longing for soul-alignment in your biz, then I have an amazing complimentary invite for you.

Last week I opened up my free coaching series, Soul Aligned Business: Placing Soul Above Strategy, for enrollment and we currently have over 400 people signed up.

We even have a free Facebook forum where you can go network with other soul-centered business owners just like you, network & make connections (it’s already quite active!)
Plus, if you sign up, you get to apply for one of three coaching spots with me, throughout the two calls in the series. (Winners will be announced on the first call).

We’ll be talking a lot about accessing the soul voice and allowing it to guide us into true, soul aligned prosperity in our businesses, throughout this new free series.

I hope you’ll join us and learn how to build a business with the strategy of joy, ecstasy, tingles, giggles & butterflies as your guides along the journey.

Click here to join the free Soul Aligned Business coaching series.

We start Wednesday!

With devotion,
1399403240

Lisa Fabrega

 

 

Comments

the things of which you secretly dream

mondaynewsletter

some days you wake up and your heart
is all poetry and you don’t know what to
do with all of those sweet storms,
where to put it or who
to speak it to.

so you whisper it into existence like
a prayer that is almost afraid
to be heard, that is almost
afraid to sweeten your lips as it leaves
in those small, timid puffs of air, threatening
to take form, become true.

i want to say to you that it is okay to
weave sweetness into the very molecules
of air that surround your face, it is okay to let
your heart swell with the brightness of hope.
you’re allowed to keep that fervent idea alive,
like a hot coal in your chest.

sometimes its the only thing that will
keep you warm when the mind goes dark,
clinical and gray. sometimes all someone
needs to keep them going is to get a whiff
of your honeyed breath as you speak your
desires quietly into the wind or shout them
from the wing of a plane
30,000 feet in the air.

sometimes that’s all someone teetering on the edge
of a precipice needs to not let all of their light
go.

1399403240

Lisa Fabrega

Comments

On burning everything to the ground, true prosperity & soul alignment

blogpost1

 

I’d like to say it came upon me gently, like a light breeze brushing up against my shoulder, blowing a few strands of my hair into the open air, tickling my cheek.

But it didn’t.

It hit me like a freight train.

There are some realizations so big they crack your vision of the world in half and no matter how much you try to claw your way back to the cozy dream you were existing in, you’ll never, ever get it back.

And so it was with the incident that caused me to go into a deep identity shift in my purpose and my business about a year and a half ago.

The day it happened I was standing in my apartment in Panama, waiting for the air repair guy to finish fixing my air conditioner, which had decided to go kaput in the middle of the hottest day of the month.

I looked down at his boots.  His muddy, ripped up work boots.

I inhaled his scent–the slightly musky-earthy-humid scent.  Not quite BO yet, but the sweat of a man who has been working in tropical heat all day, sweating in the crisp clothes his wife washed and ironed for him the night before.  Hoping that the scent of unnatural chemical flowers from his laundry detergent masked the fact that he is a working man.  Not a man who sits in air conditioning in a suit all day.

As I watched him crane his neck to check out the rest of my apartment, a beautiful apartment sitting right on the Pacific ocean.  With 24/7 air conditioning going…

I looked down at the total juxtaposition of his muddy, torn boots on my pristine carpet and I was suddenly hit so hard with the contrast of the two completely different worlds colliding.

This man would leave my apartment in a few minutes and I would continue my privileged life (which I will admit I worked damn hard for–it was not handed to me) in air conditioning.  I’d have a few coaching calls, write a blog post, then sit down with an organic meal to watch my favorite Netflix shows, have a bubble bath and lay my head down on soft cotton sheets on a memory foam bed.

Meanwhile, he would run to a few more house calls in his half-broken down car with no air conditioning and a rosary hanging from his mirror, while crackling salsa music warbled out of his damaged radio.

He’d sit in 4 hours of traffic just to get outside of the city to his country house that is the only house he can actually afford to live in, with dirt floors and windows made out of cement construction blocks.  He’d sit with his wife in the hot kitchen at the metal table eating a big plate of rice and beans, because they’re cheap and they fill you up, flicking away the flies.

I could feel the longing he had for my life, radiating off of him. And the hopelessness he felt over how hard he’d have to work to get an apartment like mine one day.  And the very possible reality that he probably never would, based on how elitist Panamanian society can be.

And I suddenly saw myself in his eyes, like some kind of total alien. I thought “I must look like some totally privileged rich bitch who never had to work a day in her life”.  I knew that wasn’t true, I’ve worked damn hard for everything I have and nothing has been handed to me.  But still, he didn’t know that.
And I could see his perspective. And the contrast between our two lives was very real.

Something happened to me in that moment.  All day long, I kept thinking of those boots on my carpet.  The stark contrast of our two very different lives.  And it felt like I was suddenly seeing things more sharply.  That is the only way I can describe it.

I went to sleep that night thinking about those boots.

The next morning I woke up, did my normal morning routine and sat down to work.
I logged in to Facebook first and my eyes were instantly flooded with posts in my feed…

“Check out the latest branding for my new program!”
Click.
Perfectly laid out images airbrushed to perfection, with perfectly styled outfits, blinged out jewelry, upbeat, cute fonts.  Empty inspirational quotes written by some copywriter, expertly created to position you in a certain way, to complete the illusion you are selling.  Sitting on a luxury couch in a fancy hotel lobby, laughing with mouth wide open in the middle of a busy street, depicting a life only available in magazines.

An ad promising multiple six figures in just six months–hey you can be just like me if you buy my program!  Instagram feeds filled with perfectly curated photos, with books stacked neatly on a pristine white coffee table.  More ads promising six figures, more clients, how to become the next celebrity coach, how to triple your income, triple your list, triple your influence…

I read through several posts of young business owners stressing out about their branding not being “high end enough”.  Some posts from other business owners bragging about celebrity entrepreneurs they had met.  I could feel the sense of importance and worth it gave them to say out loud to the world of Facebook that they were now friends with “insert celebrity coach name here.”

I saw photos posted of networking parties with top influencers..because maybe, just maybe that would make others see them as important too…

It was all a reflection.  I was looking in a mirror because a small part of me had gotten wrapped up in all of that too.  And I had felt the same way and done some of those things too.

And it was now all staring me right in the face.  
This was the world I had somehow gotten swept up into.

I thought of those boots on my carpet.
More real than any silly stressor I had over what color I should pick for my program banner.
I felt sick to my stomach.
I shut my laptop down.

Suddenly, the world I had been steeped in, the world of marketing tactics, branding obsession, spending thousands on websites to create images that will make your clients feel just bad enough that they will want your life and pay you thousands of dollars to become like you…

It just felt so empty.  And petty.  And meaningless.

And I realized, I had been feeling empty for months.

At this point, I was at the height of my business.
I had pulled in almost $300,000 dollars that year.  I had wait lists of people who wanted to work with me.  Sold out programs.  So many interview requests I was turning them down.

And I was burned out, unfulfilled, had lost my creative spark & had to literally push myself to do the basic things for my business that I needed to do every day.

I was exhausted all the time.  Everything about running my business felt so tiring. I just wanted someone to come in and take over my business so that I would no longer have to be responsible for any of it.  I couldn’t figure out what was going on.

In the course of the next few weeks, those boots on my carpet stayed with me. And everything I thought I knew and that had been so “real” to me began to slowly crack and peel away, like cheap paint on a crumbling wall.

I was hit with how deeply out of alignment I had been with my own soul, and I hadn’t even realized it until I saw those dirty work boots on my carpet.

Don’t get me wrong.  It’s not like I had just seen the contrast between my hard earned privilege and the lives others lead, for the first time.  Since I was a little girl, I’ve known my mission was not to think only about myself.  I was always deeply concerned with social welfare and the underprivileged.  I had started my business to serve people and
ultimately to shift the social 
paradigms that cause such inequality in our world.  There had always been soul in my work. This is why my business had become so successful in the first place –my people could feel I cared about them and I had become known as the no BS, truth-telling coach.

But at some point a small part of me became swept up in the world of experts and strategy.  I became obsessed with the latest marketing tactics and branding.  The who’s who of coaches that I needed to work with.  A small part of my brain, a tiny part of me making sure I was being seen with these people in photos.  Curating the perfect affiliate relationships.

Strategy strategy strategy.
Chipping off little bits of my soul.

I spent so much money on strategy.  Strategy to make sure I would be seen.  On gurus who had the blueprints for success.  And it had worked!  I had everything I thought I had ever wanted.

But I was unhappy because at some point, I had stopped letting my soul call the shots and my ego had taken over.  At first I wanted to be seen so that I could help more people…and then at some point being seen became some personal thing that validated my ego.  That made me feel worthy enough.  The amount of likes I had on a Facebook post suddenly was a measuring tape for my value as a human being. A predictor of whether or not people liked my work.

The entire paradigm of the entrepreneurial world I was building my business in was based on this.

Do this step by step process and then you will have success.
It worked for me! Try it!

And the subtext of all of it, which I could now see clear as day was:

You are broken.  You need to be fixed.  You are not worthy enough…
So that means your own creative impulses, your own soul voice…it’s broken too.
So don’t listen to your soul.  Listen to me.

If you buy my program.  If you get good enough branding.  If you have quirky enough
quotes on your memes.  If you hire the perfect copywriter.  If you have your professional photos taken a certain way.  If you work with this celebrity coach.  If you hang out with this clique of people.  If you join the right mastermind.  If you spend thousands of dollars on these programs.  If you’re dating this kind of person.  If you make six figures.  If you’re seen in a photo with so and so or get mentioned by someone who has millions of Twitter followers….

Then you will be good enough.  Then you will have value.  Then you will finally make
money.  Then you will be worth something.  This is the ONLY way to do it.

And I was seeing it all around me.

I remember having a sales conversation with a woman who was interested in working with me.  When she found out I wasn’t best friends with a certain celebrity coach, she immediately stated that she was looking to work with someone who had the right connections and the type of “stature” she needed to be associated with.  Seriously.
That happened.

And that week of the boots on my carpet, I had gotten off the phone with a client who had almost bankrupted herself trying to keep up with all of the things that she needed to “make it”.  All of the things the experts had told her she needed to do. I could see her throwing money at everything she could think of that would help her “make it big”, a growing list of certifications, signing up for all the popular programs….
hoping it would make her be seen as one of the “it coaches” you’d want to work with.

She thought that was what would bring in income & the life she wanted to create for herself. Not that you are clear on who you are and what you do, not that your work is brilliant and really helps your clients.  But instead, that you are seen as famous enough to get people to want to work with you.

I knew that wounding well.  I could feel the part of me that was just like my client.

What was really going on was that she had a deep wound around not being seen. Around needing to be the best.  So she was busting her butt creating something that was not even what her soul wanted, because she was being driven by the ego wound of needing to be “good enough”.  And the environment of our entrepreneurial world had become the perfect place for her ego to play the “I’m not good enough until I’m famous” game.

Another client had come to me after already spending $30,000 signing up for all the “right” coaching programs with the celebrity coaches and she was still unable to move out of her parents house and pay for her own basic living expenses with her business. She was disillusioned and simultaneously obsessed with the cliques in her industry that she couldn’t seem to get into.  Her branding had changed five times and she had gone through 7 different titles to describe her work by the time she had come to me.  The issue was not her branding. The issue was that she had gotten obsessed with external validation and had forgotten to ask her soul what kind of business she actually wanted to create.

I could write ten pages with these kinds of stories.
And a similar story was running like a movie in a small part of my brain.

With all of my clients, I had to coach them through this, reminding them of WHY they had gotten into this in the first place.  It wasn’t to be famous, or to be seen, or to make six figures…it was because their souls had called them to do this. All of the others stuff was just ego bullshit.

And as I sat with my own burnout….

With the fact that the magic was gone in my business and it had become a dead albatross tied down to my neck, weighing heavily upon me…with the fact that something didn’t feel “right” anymore.

With the fact that I had been suppressing a lot of my burgeoning soul gifts for months now and felt trapped in my “brand” when there were so many things I longed to write and speak about.

With the fact that I was terrified to truly do what my soul was calling me to do, speak and write about, afraid of branding myself the way my soul was asking me to…because what my soul was asking me to do went against what all the industry “experts” told me I needed to do in order to be a “somebody” and make money…and what if that meant I lost all my clients, my money and my business??

With the fact that I felt foggy and confused about what I was REALLY called here to do because my ego was speaking so loudly I couldn’t hear the voice of my soul…

As I sat with all of those things and all of the clients coming to me, suffering from the same exact problem and the loudness of the “game” all around me whenever I opened up my email or social media to see the latest offerings and posturings of my entrepreneurial world….

I realized that I was at a point where, if I didn’t start listening to my soul’s voice,
I would begin losing money anyway.  

And that apart from money, building my business in this way had come at a great cost to my soul.

Because that which is not in alignment with your soul can never be long term sustainable.

So I listened to my soul.
And my soul told me to let it all go.

I cut the largest revenue producing program in my business.
I stopped taking 1:1 clients that didn’t feel aligned.
I became super internal and stopped communicating with a lot of people.
And yes, for a while I did make a lot less money.

All along my ego was freaking out.
A few times, my ego told me to go against my soul in order to make sure I was making enough money.  Mysteriously, hardly anyone signed up for those offerings.

And I continued to step into the void, the unknown.
And I waited.

And slowly my soul began to speak.

Over the course of many months, she began to guide me.  Show me, little by little what I was truly here to do.  What a truly soul-aligned business would look like.

And I watched as my energy came back.  I watched my creative spark return. I started to feel rested, nourished & fulfilled by my work again.

And here I am standing in the most aligned place I have ever been in my business. Feeling much better than I have in a long time. And I honor my process.  I could care less what everyone else is doing. Or whether my brand is likeable enough.  Or famous enough.

I’m over the hell it is to be wrapped up in that rat race.
All it does is pull you away from what you’re really here to do.
All it does is fill you brain with petty concerns when what’s truly real is the disparity between those ripped up construction boots on my pristine, expensive carpet.

All it does is silence the voice of your soul and make you lose the “why” of why you started on this path in the first place.

All the while, I noticed that in the last two years, almost every client I have worked with has mirrored my journey.  All of my clients began to come to me with the same exact issue.

They had placed strategy above soul.
And they were paying for it.

What I know now, after plunging deeply into this work with myself and my clients, is that the more in alignment we are with our souls, the more aligned our communities of the people that we serve will be.

And what’s funny is we spend all of this time worrying that by being true to ourselves, and letting the truth of who we really are radiate out in our work…that we will somehow lose all of the clients, money and business we worked so hard to build.

But what I have found along this journey to be true for me and the people I’ve guided through the soul-alignment process, is that the more in alignment you are, the more you begin to attract TRUE prosperity.

I mean true soul prosperity.  Aligned prosperity doesn’t look like a strong attachment to seven figures.  Aligned prosperity looks like having all your needs met, trusting that the Universe will provide in exchange for the beautiful work you are doing.  And knowing how much you TRULY need, money-wise, to be happy.

Sometimes that looks like seven figures.  Sometimes that looks like less.
It’s all according to what YOUR soul wants.
Not some random income number some expert told you to get to in order to be “worthy enough”.

Prosperity includes financial abundance, yes.
Don’t worry I’m not telling you you have to go broke.
What I mean is that prosperity means that you are thriving in every area of your life and in alignment with your soul financially AND you are truly fulfilled by your business.
It enhances your life and the growth of your soul.

And you don’t give a crap about keeping up with the joneses.
Or what everyone else is doing.
Because the only strategy you need comes directly from your Soul.

I truly believe this is the new paradigm our world is shifting into.

For too long we have suppressed the soul voice in favor of the scarcity fears and the woundings of the ego.  For too long we have believed in the story that we are broken.

We get wrapped up in all of that chaos and suddenly we’re confused, don’t know who we are, why we’re here, or why we started our businesses in the first place.

We see income dwindle and wonder why.
Or maybe our income is doing great but we feel exhausted and burned out by what we’ve created and don’t know why we want to quit it all and move to a tiny, simple cabin in the middle of nowhere.

I’m not saying that branding, marketing & hiring coaches that happen to be celebrities is all ego-based.  But let’s make sure that we access your soul voice
FIRST, so that the branding, marketing & coach-hiring you’re doing actually is aligned with your true purpose.

Otherwise all you will do is build something that looks great on the outside but will make you feel miserable in the long run.  In the end it will fall apart because it is out of alignment.

It ALL, ALL comes down to soul alignment.

It has become such a huge resounding need in our community.
Regularly, not only do I support clients in this very problem, but colleagues have come to me in the same existential crisis.  It became very clear to me that this is what I’m meant to assist in.  Soul-Alignment. Because it is key to your happiness and to fulfilling your soul’s calling in this lifetime.

And it’s clear that a new perspective on living your calling in the world is needed.

So this is my sacred invitation to you, love.

I’m announcing today that I have created a new, completely free two part coaching series for purpose driven business owners.

It’s called:  Soul Aligned Business: Placing Soul Over Strategy.

If you’re of the growing tribe of business owners who are ready for your business to be the work of art that expresses your soul’s calling and creates powerful, true transformation in the world around you.  If you’re like us and you’re finally ready to feel truly nourished and fulfilled by what you do and invite deep, soul-aligned prosperity into your life. If you’re over all the bullshit your ego tells you that you have to be in order to be worthy of living your true calling.

Then this is for you.

I want to open myself up to be of the most service I can be, to those who are ready to seek a new way of creating prosperity.  To those who want to get back to the soul, back to the basics of why we are actually here.

So, beyond creating this free coaching series for purpose-driven business owners, I’m opening up applications for three spots for live, free coaching from me on both calls when you join the free coaching series.  

Will you join me?

Click here to sign up for Soul Aligned Business: Placing Soul Over Strategy.
A free coaching series for purpose driven business owners.

I’m still thinking about those boots on my carpet.  How I can lessen that gap, that contrast. And I’m so grateful to that man for giving me the perspective shift I needed that day.

I’m seeing clearly now.
And it may not always be the pretty illusion I want it to be.
But it feels damn good.

It feels soul-aligned.

1399403240

Lisa Fabrega

Comments

Beware of the mythical “neg”

lisanewsletter

(photo by GeneticBoi)

 

I was working away at my computer when it came in.
The familiar ding of a Facebook message, distracting me from what I was doing…

For some reason, this time, I clicked over to read it.

I don’t normally check my messages, my assistant does.
And when I read his message, I felt it was a little too personal for someone who doesn’t
know me at all.  Something in my intuition felt “off” about this dude.

But I saw that we had a very dear friend of mine in common and I saw his native
language was not English (he was European).  I dismissed my intuitive “red flag” as me
being paranoid and excused the overly intimate tone as having to do with a language barrier.

“Nice to meet you.  I see we have my dear friend xxxx in common. How do you two
know each other?”, I wrote back, brief, courteous and professional.

His response mentioned they did some personal development work in the same
circles…and then he ended the email by saying that he had looked at my website and
at my latest offering and he found it to be “interesting” except for the fact that he felt it
was so “American” and he didn’t like how I marketed.  The words felt quite condescending.

I remember reading that message and feeling my entire body be a no to further
communication with this person.   He had just introduced himself to me, barely knowing
me, yet speaking to me like we had been friends for years.  Then proceeded to
compliment me and then simultaneously tear down my work…without me ever
requesting any of this feedback.

My mind didn’t know why my body was an immediate no,
but it would soon catch up.

I never responded to his message. And I got busy.
And over the course of several weeks, his comments below my photos and posts
began to pop up.  The words seemed innocuous, but every time I got a notification
of one of his comments on my posts, I felt like my energy & personal space was
being intruded upon.  It never felt good.

Still I dismissed this as being “my issue” and being paranoid and I just didn’t respond to
the comments assuming he would eventually just go away.

Then this week, I got one final message from him.

“Wow, you’re so American.  It’s kind of amazing.”

It was then that I knew in my mind what he was doing.

I immediately blocked him from all of my Facebook accounts.
Goodbye.

I texted my friend who we had in common and told him I had blocked the creepy dude
and I didn’t understand how they were friends.  He said “wow, that’s kind of harsh”.

No, it’s actually not harsh.  Not at all.

Let me tell you why.

That guy was doing what is known in the world of sleazy, “pickup” dating advice as a “neg”.

The definition of a neg is this:

A neg is a backhanded compliment, usually said by a man to a woman, to surprise and/or annoy her so she does a double take and tries to prove her value to the man. Negging comes from the Pick Up Artist community and was a very popular method suggested to men who wanted to take very attractive women “down a notch” in the mid 2000s…if the neg works properly, the woman will try to prove her value to the man by engaging him, chasing him or other preening behaviors that show sexual or romantic interest.

Let’s rewind to the part that I find most fucked up about this “tactic”:
The part that says that the neg is meant to get the woman to “prove her value to the man”.

You know why I find that part to be the grossest about this tactic?
Because it requires that we ask people to step into their brokenness so that we can gain
power and control over them.

Think about it.

We live in a world where our “brokenness” is taught as if it were a given.

From the moment we’re born we are told there is something to fix.
Our religions…
teach us all about our original sin that we must wipe away through acts of contrition.

Our work ethic…
in Western culture teaches us we must kill ourselves in order to prove that we are of
value and worthy of reward.

Old paradigm marketing & selling…
insists we must remind people of how broken they are in order for them to buy a
product or service from us that will fix their problems.

Many coaches, therapists and personal development leaders… coach from needing to
“fix” their clients and keep them in co-dependent relationships for years (and this also
guarantees their income for a long time…how convenient).

“I am broken” is a story that permeates our entire world.
It’s a story that I have spent years shattering with my clients and in my programs.

It is such a deep story that our egos are attached to, that I have actually had clients
get angry and insult me because I refused to coach them from the story of “yes, you
are broken, so let me fix you” and instead kept bringing them back to their wholeness
and back to the truth that they already know.

And why is it such a popular belief?

Because when you can convince someone that they are broken and that you, in
turn, have the solution, you have power over them.

And when you believe in your brokenness, you get to surrender your sovereignty
and not do the sometimes hard work of being personally responsible for creating
your own life.  Much easier to blame someone else instead of taking responsibility.

Ouch. I know that one hurt.
It hurts me to admit it whenever I catch myself believing in my mythical broken-ness, too.

When you reinforce the belief in people that they are broken, through your speech and
your actions, you can manipulate them by using their wounding against them.

If you believe you’re broken, you will never trust your intuition that says “I know what I
need and want” and instead you will constantly be looking for some guru outside of you
to give you the answers.  Because how could you trust intuition that comes from your
“broken” body and soul?

That’s the power of propagating the “We are broken” story.

And that is exactly what that creepy dude was trying to do to me.
He was “negging” me.

The person who tries to “neg” you, basically requires for you to be broken
in order to engage with you.  

Beyond the fact that this is incredibly screwed up that someone would want you to be
in your brokenness in order for them to talk to you…the person who negs does this
because they believe in the story that they are deeply broken too.

Rather than step into their wholeness and celebrate a woman who has good self esteem
& high confidence, they would rather stay in their smallness and bring you down a notch
to their level.

So you’re damn right I blocked him.

And no, it wasn’t harsh.

In fact, it was the greatest act of self-respect and self-love that I could do for myself.
And it is the greatest act of self-respect and self-love that you could do for you, too.

Any person that requires you to be less than all of who you are in order for them
to
feel comfortable being around you, should not be a part of your world.

But this doesn’t just happen between men and women and in the pickup world.

After I blocked this man permanently from my space, I got to thinking about when else
I have had this “off” feeling in my body.

I started to realize all the ways that “negging” has show up in my world.  And all the
ways which we allow it to happen, because we dismiss our intuition that something
feels wrong.

You see, the person who negs is a master of words.
They will cut you down but you will have a hard time finding evidence of it
in their words.
They’ll slam you with a big smile on their face and you’re the one left
doubting yourself.

Like the Facebook commenter who thanked me for the free 30 minute video I made
on Periscope but then proceeded to tell me it was “delivered a bit late”..

Or the person on Instagram who I have never met, giving me a “compliment” about how
much better I looked now that I had lost some weight. (No one ever has the right to
make comments about your body without your consent).

Or the person who emailed me after I spent 2 hours teaching some of my best content
on a totally complimentary call to serve my community, to say “thank you for 2 hours of
free content but honestly I was disappointed in you because you didn’t talk about _____,
which is what I wanted you to talk about. I expected more of you, frankly”.

Or the client who I used to leave every session with feeling like I had been repeatedly
punched in the stomach, but had no words of hers to point to that would show me why
I felt that way.

Or the friend and colleague who I promoted and referred so many clients to, who
became more and more threatened, the more I moved out of my own “I am broken”
stories..

As I began to move into my wholeness I began to speak about my gifts more publicly.
Every time I posted about it, I would get a text message about what was wrong in my
post astrologically or veiled comments about “newbies” needing to respect that the
masters know more and have been doing it longer.

I started noticing that every time I walked away from interacting with her or hanging out
with her, I felt like I had been cut down. Like I was a bad person just for finally letting
myself be fully me. When I finally confronted her about it, like a true neg afficionado,
she denied it all and told me I must be imagining things.

Or the other friend who, when we sat next to an attractive man on the plane, cut my
accomplishments down in front of him by saying, with a laugh “oh well Lisa, that’s not
true”, right after I had finished sharing with him.

The people who like to “neg” have this down to a science.
They will cut you down and then act like you’re the crazy one.
In fact, I think some people have gotten so used to negging, that they don’t even realize
they are doing it anymore.

The danger in being around people who neg you, is that you doubt your intuition.
Have enough people negging you in your life and you suddenly snowball into losing all
trust in your gut feelings and you begin to take the advice of people outside of you,
instead of trusting the wholeness and wisdom within you.

Before you know it, you’re doubting your dreams, you’re doubting that you’re a good
person, you’re doubting the messages from your heart and you now believe in your brokenness.

And you stop creating.
Because you now believe that your own impulses are broken and cannot be trusted.
You give up your power to the opinions and thoughts of the person who is negging
you and start requiring outside answers to make any decision in your life.

You lose your sovereignty and your access to the divine wisdom within you.

My love, choose the people who are lifted up by you soaring to new heights and
want to be the wind beneath your wings.
Choose the people who see you already in your wholeness and who address you
in that manner.
Choose the people who challenge you to believe in nothing but your wholeness.

Does believing we are whole mean believing we are perfect and can do no wrong?
No. Absolutely not.
Like a famous Buddhist monk once said…
“We are all whole and we have a lot of work to do.”

But if your intuition tells you that something is “off” about the way this person speaks
to you, if you constantly feel cut down when you leave a person’s presence…even if
you can’t put your finger on it, even if you can’t “prove it” entirely, listen to your gut.

Deep down, you know, my love.
You know.

Just like, if I’m honest with myself, I knew the minute that creepy Facebook dude
messaged me that something was off. Just like I knew, months in to my friendships
mentioned above, that these people were not totally on my side. Just like I knew that
that was the wrong client for me and endured energetic punches in the guts for months
until I was fed up and fired her. Just like those commenters on social media and
newsletter subscribers that wrote in with backhanded compliments were actually
repeat offenders and I let it slide for too long.

All of those people are not in my life or my energy field anymore.

Be fierce about who or what you allow around your energy field because it will
affect the fate of your dreams.

This doesn’t mean we can’t view those who neg us with compassion.
It doesn’t mean we are making them “bad people” or “other”.

People who neg are just people who are caught up in their brokenness.
They see someone shining brightly in their wholeness and it frightens them.

Because it means they just might have to take responsibility for themselves and
step into their own wholeness too. And living your life as a sovereign being vs.
a victim that gets tossed around by the Universe is scary because it means we have
to stop blaming other people for the circumstances we have the power to change.

So, today I want to issue you a challenge, love.

Are you willing to step out of the story that you are broken and into the reality
that you are whole?

Are you willing to take a fierce stand for your heart, your intuition and your dreams
by stopping the pattern of allowing people who neg you to rule your life?

If so, comment “I am whole and I claim my sovereignty!” below.
Better yet, share this post with an “I am whole and I claim my sovereignty!” to
inspire others to step into their wholeness, too.

It’s time to give up the illusion of brokenness once and for all.

And you have nothing to prove. To anyone. Ever.
You are whole.

 

 

Comments