I believe that everything you want in life happens when you align with your soul. I'm here to help you do that so that you can create and lead with powerful impact.


We need to talk about your boundaries

We need to talk about your boundaries

Have you ever watched how kids that have no boundaries behave?

One of my dearest friends was once one of those children. She hated it. She told me she constantly felt unsafe over the fact that there were no limits in her house, ever, about anything. So she began to act out in more and more extreme ways.

Why?

Because she was hoping her parents would set some rules and restrictions so that she’d know what her parameters are. Having no boundaries felt like I was lost at sea, all the time. As a child, that felt so unprotected and scary.

A little over a year ago, I hired a woman to help me with a few strategic things in my business. She had no boundaries. Now, I am a person who values boundaries greatly. I’m kind of known in my circles for my ability to set firm, open hearted & loving boundaries. My friend Mike once said to me Lisa, you are one of the most badass-at-setting-boundaries people I have ever met.

Before you think I’m just using this to brag on myself, think again. Imagine what it felt like for me, a person who has a healthy set of boundaries, to interact with a person who had none.

Wanna know what it was like?

Exactly like my friend’s experience as a kid.

I was extremely uncomfortable the entire time because I never knew where I stood with her.

She never took the time to send over a contract for our work that delineated:

  • What expectations were on how I could communicate with her during our time together on the project I hired her for
  • How often I could reach out to her if I had questions
  • What times she preferred to meet with me weekly
  • How often we would meet

As a result, I felt like I was walking on eggshells the entire time we were working together.

It felt extremely uncomfortable. I was constantly worried about stepping on her toes or crossing a boundary, without knowing what her boundaries actually were.

I cringed every time I sent her a long email (are those allowed?). I felt sick to my stomach if I sent her a message late at night, expecting she would just read it during normal hours and she responded at 1am (and then posted the next day how she really is tired and needs to set better boundaries).

Her deliverables were often late because she also had no boundaries with her other clients, so she frequently became overwhelmed, shut down and dropped off the face of the earth without so much as a peep while I watched the deadline come and go.

Worst of all, instead of relaxing into the amazing help I had hired her to provide me with, I was constantly feeling like I had to help her set her own boundaries. I’d find myself saying things to her like, “you don’t have to respond so late! Go to bed!”

I felt like one of those kids who has no boundaries.

When you have no boundaries, you unconsciously force others to emotionally take care of you without their consent.

Yes, take that in. Because that is what happens.

It happened to me. Not only did I feel unsafe, unsure and uncomfortable while I was working with this person (do you want a valued client to have that energetic experience with you when you’re working with them? Probably not!), but I also felt like I was having to take care of her and set her boundaries for her, when I actually hired that person to support me.

I highly doubt that was the experience she wanted me to have. She was a good, kind person. But that is the experience I ended up having, because she had no boundaries.

And that’s what happens if you’re lucky enough to get a healthy, well-boundaried person to interact with when you have no boundaries.

If you have no boundaries and you interact with a person who also has no boundaries, you will get drained dry. They will become increasingly demanding of your time, unreasonably so. They will get angry when you don’t do everything at their whim. They will become a monster in a nightmare you created.

And then you wonder why you don’t love what you do anymore?
Or feel overwhelmed?
Or lost the passion in your life and your work?

Open hearted boundaries feel like safe containers for the emotionally healthy people in your life (and attracts more emotionally healthy people into your life and business too).

When you have open hearted boundaries:

  • I know where I stand with you.
  • I know when I can reach out to you, what sorts of things I can reach out to you about.
  • I know what I need to do to make sure that I am bringing to the table an energy that is as nourishing for you as it is for me.
  • I know we can both be healthy adults and that you won’t have secret, unspoken expectations that you’re not telling me about, so that I can relax in your presence and have a truly meaningful, real interaction with you.

If you’ve been telling yourself for months that it’s time you set better boundaries, but you can’t seem to bring yourself to do it for you… then I hope that seeing it from the perspective of someone who has to interact with you when you have no boundaries will help you set them once and for all.

If you’re someone who loves to overdeliver — go for it! But let people know that you love to overdeliver and that they can rest easy knowing that you will let them know when you’re not okay doing something.

As a boundary-healthy person I appreciate that so much when you tell me that. I know I can relax and not take care of your unspoken expectations, because you will let me know when it’s too much for you or you’re not okay doing something. I can relax because you won’t harbor some secret resentment over a boundary I accidentally crossed months ago, that you never bothered to tell me about and then blow up at me out of nowhere someday.

Open hearted boundaries allows all of those who interact with you to feel safe, flourish and thrive. And it also tells me that my boundaries are welcome in my interactions with you too.

Maybe, seeing how a lack of boundaries affects the experience of people or clients who interact with you on a daily basis, will be the kick in the pants you need to set open-hearted boundaries once and for all.

With love,

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PS: I’d love to hear how the above resonated with you. Please do let me know in the comments below.

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8 Unexpected Signs You’re Out of Alignment

8 Unexpected Signs You're Out of Alignment

I don’t know, I’ve just been feeling off lately.

Like I’m not that same, fun-loving, sensuous woman in love with her life anymore, she whispered over the phone. Though she was trying to hide it, I could hear the shame she felt at admitting this, in the spaces between her words.

She felt shame because for all intents and purposes, she was extremely successful. She had created a very successful business from scratch. From the outside so many others admired her. It felt really embarrassing to reveal the truth — that what everyone saw was not what she felt behind the scenes.

What’s wrong with me that I have all these amazing things in my life and business, and yet I feel confused, stuck and like something is “off”. Business isn’t going as well as before, so many things feel like pulling teeth these days. I don’t know what is going on, why it’s suddenly so hard to make money and why I feel so lost.

I knew immediately what was wrong.

She was out of alignment with her Soul.

I opened my mouth and told her, I’m going to say something controversial right now.

You are not meant to be suffering all the time. Things are not actually supposed to be this hard. You can have clarity, you can make more money working less, you can feel fulfilled and get more meaning out of your business and your relationships. In fact, that is your natural state when you are in alignment with the truth of who you are.

I heard total silence on the other end of the phone as she took this in.

I proceeded.

You’ve been lied to. We’ve all been lied to. We are not here to work hard all the time to prove ourselves worthy of abundance, happiness and fulfillment. Your natural state is actually to be in pleasure. You are actually built for pleasure.

My client began to softly cry on the other end of the line. Three months after that phone call, as we continued to work together, she sent me a text.

I have never felt more clear, more confident, more alive and more ME than this very moment. I feel totally aligned. I just had three clients contact me out of the blue and I didn’t even have to work that hard for it. And I’m dating this amazing guy that literally was plucked from my manifesting journal. I never knew this is what alignment feels like.

If you are a woman your body has 8,000 nerve endings on your clitoris that exist for the sole purpose of experiencing pleasure. If you research creation myths across cultures around the world, they all start with desire — the creator created the Universe and everything in it for his/her pleasure. We have five senses designed to taste, touch, feel, hear and see all of the lusciousness of life.

Being in pleasure is being in alignment with your true purpose.

And when we are in alignment, life is just… easier.

Your work, your business, relationships… they’re all more fulfilling. You feel connected to something more than you. You feel like you are contributing to the planet. You attract the right people and opportunities to you. Money flows to you without having to push so hard for it all the time. You have energy, stamina and confidence to put yourself out there. You feel clear and like you know exactly where you are going.

Things are not meant to be so hard.

You’re not supposed to “hustle” all the time in your business. You’re not supposed to be isolated and feel like you can’t trust or open up to anyone. You’re not supposed to feel overwhelmed all the time. You’re not supposed to feel like you have to wear a mask in public and fall apart behind the scenes because you’ve built a tiny version of hell for yourself by unconsciously building a business and life that wasn’t in alignment with your true self.

Pleasure is what you were made for and what you are here to experience. And when you are in alignment, you are in pleasure. You are in your natural state of flow. You are in the flow of all life. You are being who you were called here to be.

So you see, alignment is a pretty big effin’ deal. It’s why my entire business is built around helping soul-driven, ambitious women who feel called to impact the world in a big way…
get.
into.
alignment.

Most of the time we don’t even realized that we are out of alignment, though. One of the most frequent questions I get in our inbox every week is “how do I know if I’m out of alignment?”

It’s a very important question. Because if you’re not in alignment, you’re not getting what you want in life and in your business/work. If you’re not in alignment, you’re out of the flow. Things are harder. You feel confused and stuck.

Most of us don’t even know how to identify the symptoms of misalignment. Today, I’m going to teach you 8 unexpected signs that show you are out of alignment.

These are “red flags” I look for when I start working with someone that quickly tell me whether there’s an alignment issue or not. By no means are these “all” the signs, but they are the most common ones I see.

If you have any of these symptoms, you might have an alignment problem. And I want you in alignment, because that’s the only kind of life I want you to have — one of pleasure, flow and meaning. That doesn’t mean life is all butterflies and roses. But when you’re in alignment with your soul, even life’s difficulties feel easier to manage.

Without further ado, here are the 8 surprising signs that you may be out of alignment.

1. You wake up every day feeling like something is off but you don’t know what it is.

Something is always nagging at you, though you can’t put your finger on it. Something in you doesn’t feel “totally good”. You keep thinking there must be more I’m here to do. But you’re not sure what it is yet. Sometimes you even wake up at 4am and feel your heart beating wildly, knowing that something isn’t quite right.

2. You feel disconnected from yourself.

You feel like you used to be a fun, full-of-life woman, but now you just feel a little blah. You used to hear a little voice inside of you that would guide you to your heart’s desires, but lately you don’t hear that little voice anymore. You don’t take much time to be with yourself these days and in fact, sometimes you avoid it. You wonder, where is that woman that I used to be? What happened?

3. Your external reality is not matching up with what you really desire.

This is a big one that we talk about in several modules of my 7 Soul Gates program. I believe that often the world that we see around us can be a big mirror for what is off energetically/misaligned inside of us . So for example — if you keep getting a particular type of awful client, or you keep getting people who question your prices, sometimes that tells me something inside of you is putting out the wrong “bat signal” — one that actually isn’t aligned with what you really want and who you really are.

Whenever I see this with my clients, I immediately get to doing the internal clean-up work we need to do to clear out any misaligned vibes they might be putting out that might be attracting these situations or people. Within a few sessions, I see a huge shift.

By the way — this is NOT the same as “victim blaming”. I don’t like it when so-called spiritual gurus say that everything that happens to you, you created because you are broken inside. Sometimes crazy shiz just happens to people. Sometimes people are crazy and just show up in your life because you’re there to learn how to set a boundary and send that person packing.

But if it’s not that and you are seeing the same patterns of not getting what you want over and over, it could be a sign that you’re not in alignment with your true Soul. And as a result, the vibes you put out there are not reflecting what you actually want and send mixed messages to the Universe.

4. You are getting sick a lot

Some clients of mine have had weird autoimmune flare ups, constant sore throats, frequently catch colds and more. Sometimes, it’s their body trying to communicate to them that something is not in alignment. In some sessions with clients, I have actually talked (and had the client talk) to the part of the body that is acting out. You’d be amazed at the information that comes out. Often the part of the body that is flaring up has something to say about how my client’s desires are being held back or they are not feeling expressed fully.

One time, as we spoke to a client’s shoulder, it told us she is feeling really restricted sexually around her partner and she wants to let loose. Another client’s throat told me that she wanted to tell her boyfriend she loved him but she was afraid and didn’t. She kept getting bad sore throats and colds that concentrated in her throat area because she wasn’t in alignment with her truth. She was holding back the words she wanted to say. When I gave her the homework to tell him, the issue completely cleared up and she stopped getting sore throats all the time.

5. You feel tired, sluggish and uninspired

You could need rest. Or better nutrition. Or it could be that you’ve been ignoring your real desires for so long that a part of you feels defeated. In response, it gives you nihilistic thoughts that scream at you “what’s the point” as you let out another deep sigh and wonder why nothing seems to inspire you anymore. This is because the part of you that you are holding back is depressed. And holding back a part of your true self takes a lot of energy. Misalignment seems easier to the ego, but often it’s draining and makes you feel tired.

6. You feel unclear, foggy, stuck, or like you can’t see what’s next for you.

When you’re in alignment with your soul, you are connected deeply to your soul’s unlimited wisdom. You are connected to the blueprint in your soul that has all the step by step instructions for what’s next. You are meant to be able to easily access this info when you’re aligned and have no problem creating a clear vision. If you’re having trouble feeling clear or “seeing” what is next for you, something might not be aligned. Often, when a client of mine is not in alignment, her ability to see what is right and true for her is diminished. Lack of alignment “clogs up the channel” so to speak.

7. You’re not attracting what you want

It seems that everyone out there is just creating what they want left and right, but you feel like you’re pulling teeth just to get one tiny thing that isn’t even what you actually want. You used to be good at manifesting things, but now everything feels really hard. Alignment gives off a very powerful vibration. A vibration that says to the Universe “THIS is what I want. I’m ready to receive it.” When you’re out of alignment, the Universe doesn’t receive a clear signal and as a result your manifesting results might be lacking or confusing.

8. No matter what you do, it’s not working out.

Like I said before: your true nature is not one of struggle and exhaustion. It’s pleasure and flow. If you have been racking your brain trying to get an offering, a relationship or a project to be successful but no matter what you do it doesn’t seem to work out, chances are that you are not in alignment with that offering, relationship or project. When you’re in alignment with yourself and the thing you are here to create, it flows naturally and easily to you. And when you DO work hard on it, it doesn’t feel like awful, hard work. It feels exhilarating and exciting, even if you’re a bit tired afterwards.

Bottom line: alignment changes everything. It makes life more enjoyable, meaningful and pleasurable. Alignment puts us closer to living our true purpose on the planet. And it reveals your true path to you, step by step, with total confident clarity.

If you’ve answered “yes” to any of the above, you could be out of alignment with your true self. So, what will you do to remedy that today?

I’d love to hear in the comments below!

PS: I want to thank my friend and colleague Kendrick Shope for inspiring this blog post.

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The sneaky way you’re blocking what you want

The sneaky way you’re blocking what you want

This is my favorite notebook. I love this notebook so much.

It was custom designed for the women in my High Priestess Circle mastermind this year. Each one, 12 total, handmade and hand-embossed with our logo in gold.

I lay in bed at night and lovingly gaze at it on my night table. I love the color. The texture gives me pleasure goosebumps. The bit of gold that sparkles in the light surprises my eyes and reminds me of magic. The fact that I know the person whose hands created this. The level of care and detail that went into creating each book entices the part of me that loves good quality. The fact that our company contributed to a small business owner that makes these notebooks so lovingly, makes me feel grounded and good.

I run my hands over its pink cover every morning when I sit down in my garden to do my journaling. For me this notebook symbolizes divine inspiration, a connection to beauty, a place where I channel all of my best ideas and get to dream aloud.

But yesterday, I noticed a little problem with this notebook.

I found myself wrapped up in a moment of rapture as I really felt how much I enjoy using this notebook. How much I love the way my pen glides across its premium paper, hand selected by the maker for utmost quality. How much I love pouring into these hand-cut pages.

And while feeling this utter delight, I found myself thinking “I need to order another one, so that when this one runs out, I get to have it again.”

This sounds like an innocuous statement. It sounds like I’m just being smart and prepared.
Except this notebook only has about 15 out of 50 pages filled. It will be a while until I need another one.

Instead of just sitting with the utter delight I felt at enjoying this small object, I became attached to it.

“Attachment” is a word we hear often when it comes to personal & spiritual development work. The zen buddhists dedicate a lot of time to it. So much so that it is one of the “four noble truths”, which are foundational tenets of zen buddhism.

Attachment is the root of all suffering.
The origin of suffering is attachment.

I was having such a wonderful time feeling my enjoyment for this notebook and all the meaning it carries for me, that I attached myself to it. I attached myself to wanting to feel this exact way forever. I attached to wanting this notebook to be in my life forever because of the feelings it gives me. I moved out of the present moment and out of my enjoyment in that moment into my ego as I tried to figure out how to never run out of this notebook and these feelings again.

In essence, my mind was thinking “how can I control this thing/moment so that I can retain this feeling and this delight that the notebook gives me forever?”

When I did that, I removed myself from the flow of pleasure I was in and moved out of my body. I moved into my mind to a non-existent future, hoping to bottle and control this moment by ordering another notebook before I finished fully enjoying the one I had in my hands.

The minute I did that, the pleasure and pure enjoyment of the moment died. I moved from enjoyment to a set-up for future suffering.

The truth is, I don’t need this notebook to be in my journaling life to enjoy my writing every morning. I don’t need this notebook to manufacture this beautiful feeling of delight and pleasure.

The minute I attach myself to needing to have THIS notebook in order to feel this way when I write, I am suffering. I become the victim to my attachment. A victim to the notebook. The thing that brought me pleasure now becomes my cage. I begin to believe I can’t enjoy my writing without a notebook exactly like this.

But what if the vendor stops creating these? What if the next time I get it, the quality is not as good? What if by the time I fill up this notebook, I no longer actually want this notebook, but now I want a new, different one that also brings me delight?

If I’m attached, I will ignore that new desire and force myself to stay in the old desire for this notebook, which I have already outgrown. I stagnate myself.

If I’m attached, I will leave the notebook behind one day on a trip and then tell myself I can’t get enjoyment out of any writing unless I have this notebook, particularly. And then I suffer because I don’t write.

If I’m attached, I forget the essential truth, which is that I am the creator of what I desire.

I can create this pleasure and delight whenever I want to, in whatever ways I want to, without needing a hand-embossed, pink and gold notebook to create that pleasure I felt holding it in my hand that morning of rapture.

When I’m not attached and I remember I can create this delight any time I please, out of whatever situation I find myself in, I am free. I become the empowered creator of my life.

How many times have you outgrown your old desires and felt a new one being born in your heart, only to push it away because your ego thinks your desire HAS to look like it did in the past?

How many times have you stopped yourself from really enjoying a moment, a business win, a compliment, a love affair, an orgasm, because before you’ve finished fully experiencing it, you’re already trying to figure out how to force the moment to stay just like that forever.

How many times have you blocked yourself from enjoying your life and your work because you don’t trust in your innate ability to have or create that pleasure for yourself again?

How many times have you blocked more abundance, pleasure and nourishment in your life because your ego thinks it has to arrive in a certain package, look or feel a very specific way?

What is the “notebook” in your life?

What would happen if you just allow yourself to enjoy the metaphorical “notebook” in your life, the joy you feel in this moment at holding it in your hands, of having the privilege of feeling all of your senses come alive, the ecstasy of having the honor to experience this…

and then let the moment pass, trusting that the next moment of pleasure & goodness will come along at the perfect moment for you?

What would happen if you knew in your core that these moments never end, they are always available to us and we can always choose them?

How would you navigate your business, career, relationships, self-care differently?

That’s the inquiry I want you to focus on in your life this week. And when you have the answers, I’d love to see them in the comments below.

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How to get help from your spirit guides (in three steps).

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Imagine having access to a sacred council of guides, angels and ancestors every time you sit down to create something: a vision, a new program for your business, a new life plan, an important email to someone. Imagine what it would be like if, instead of having to rack your brain figuring out the “right move” you could just tap into your soul, hear divine guidance and know what to do next. Wouldn’t that be amazing?

As a lifetime avid reader, I always used to read about my favorite artists & creators receiving “divine inspiration”. I felt a longing for that. I wanted more of that in my business and in my life. So, many years ago, I began to practice more seriously what I had been naturally doing since I was a child — connecting with my spiritual helpers.

One of the highlights of that experience was in 2016, when I heard my soul tell me to go off most technology for 2 weeks, because it was time for me to create a new offering. I was hesitant to do it, but I listened. And what transpired in those 2 weeks was one of the most mind-blowing experiences of my life.

I had been working with Archangel Michael as one of my guides for a while by that point and he showed up during those 2 weeks I took off very strongly. In fact, I had to put a notebook and pen in bed with me because the downloads were so plentiful and so frequent, I was waking up in the middle of the night writing furiously into my notebook, with ideas he and a few other archangels were sending my way. I was receiving information from my soul and from the archangels & guides I like to work with.

The whole experience was so easeful, so enjoyable and so fun. It wasn’t anything like other times I’d tried to come up with a plan or create something and racked my brain trying to figure out the “best thing” that would resonate with the people in my tribe.

And then, when the program launched, we had double the expected enrollment numbers.

Once the program itself began, I was floored. I could see the evidence of divine guidance in the creation of this program everywhere. For example, on weeks where a participant wouldn’t even do the homework, she would still have a massive breakthrough related directly to the module we were working on at that time. People who had already done spiritual work and personal development for years were having massive breakthroughs in this program.

I felt like I had to work 30 times less hard because not only was I leading this program, but it felt very much like there was a sacred council leading the program too, doing invisible soul work on the participants beyond what I did, supporting me in making sure the participants had the outcomes they needed.

This program, as you may already know, is our 7 Soul Gates program. And in this program we talk a lot about what it looks like to become soul-driven vs. ego-driven. Part of being soul-driven is understanding that we have an entire invisible world ready to help and support us in living our calling and making the impact we want to make in the world.

A soul-driven leader learns to lean upon these helpers and work with them vs. working alone.
It makes everything so much easier.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

Yes, except we carry a lot of shame around getting help in the first place, from anyone.
And we carry even more shame by just plainly saying that we do things like ask our spiritual guides for help. We use language like oh that’s so “woo” because we’re trying not to get dismissed as “crazy” for believing in divine inspiration in the first place. .

I’ll never forget how, once, when I was interviewed by an entrepreneur for his business podcast, and the conversation turned spiritual, he actually ended the interview by apologizing to his listeners that the conversation turned spiritual when talking about business. It was such a sign to me of that internalized shame for daring to be a spiritual being in a world that is all ego.

In the 7 Soul Gates program, we spend a lot of time in the first week of the program de-programming all of those beliefs that shame us for having a direct connection to the divine.

Because the truth is that we are actually MEANT to connect to the divine realms for inspiration and direction on living out our soul’s calling on this planet. We have a gate at the top of our head, also known as the 7th chakra, which connects us to the spiritual realm. We all have it.

While I don’t have time to get into how to fully detox and open up this gate (that’s reserved for the program), I wanted to write a little bit today about how you can start to connect with your own angels and guides a little more.

Because it’s not supposed to be so hard, love. You have angels, guides and ancestors on standby waiting to help you out. And your soul is waiting to show you the blueprint and plan for living your calling.

So here are three simple suggestions for how you can begin to connect with your spirit guides, starting today.

1) Examine what you learned about your natural intuitive gifts as a child

In the 7 Soul Gates program we do some incredible exercises to help you find the core beliefs you formed around your natural ability to connect to divine inspiration. Often when we feel like we “aren’t intuitive” or “can’t hear our guides” it’s because we have old beliefs from society, our culture or even the religion we grew up in that shames our ability to connect to divine wisdom and receive that kind of inspiration.

In order to even begin to connect with your guides, you’ve got to clear out what subconscious beliefs and fears are blocking you from doing so in the first place. So start by asking yourself, “what am I afraid will happen if I actually let myself get divine inspiration and guidance?”

2) Understand that you can’t force your soul or your guides to work on your timeline/in your language

I see people make this mistake all the time. They have a very specific way they expect to receive answers from their guides, or they set up experiments to make their soul and their guides “prove” to them that they are legit. Except, have you ever noticed what happens if you sit a child down and tell them to paint in a way that proves their worthiness and legit-ness to you? That child will shut down. Too much pressure & judgment. And that is the way of the ego, which needs tangible proof in order to even believe in something.

The soul and the spiritual realm speak a totally different language than the ego, so you cannot expect it to respond always in your ego-based language and perspective. The ego is all about intellect. The soul and our guides are about intelligence. They are two very different things. You can’t force your guides to speak to you when you summon them. It’s not about power dynamics or expecting things to arrive in your way.

It’s about dancing with your soul and your guides and asking them to reveal answers to you in whatever ways they desire to. It’s then YOUR job to notice the synchronicities that begin to pop up. Because they are communicating, but we usually are the ones who don’t see what they are trying to tell us or just block it.

On the day I moved from Florida to Santa Barbara, I was feeling terrified of this big leap. I asked my guides to show me a sign that it would be okay. An hour later, while I was waiting for my flight to board at the airport lounge, a guide dog came and sat right by my feet. I could have dismissed this or not even noticed it. But I have now trained myself to notice the little synchronicities that pop up. When I glanced at his name tag, the dog’s name was “Angel”. Yup, got my sign!

Let go, stop trying to force it or control your guides. Be open to receive guidance in unexpected ways. Look for synchronicities. Ask for answers in your dreams or in words from a random stranger. Or in a song the next time you turn on a radio. Or in the animals that show up on your hike as totems. Then pay attention.

3) Give yourself lots of space 

In combination with what I wrote above, if you don’t actually make time and space to hear your soul and your guides speaking to you, how do you expect to even hear them?

As I mentioned before, your soul and your guides do not speak to you in the language and the pace of your ego. They don’t speak when you’re busy, running around or just bombarding your brain with more information. They require lots of space so that you can empty out your brain, quiet it and hear what is beyond the noise of your mind chatter.

In the 7 Soul Gates program we have a specific exercise I have the participants try called Sitting Practice.

Start by taking 10 minutes every day to just SIT. Put your hand on your
heart and your belly (or womb or yoni, whatever works for you) and just breathe. Sit. Don’t meditate. Just be aware of your mind chatter. Exhale the mind chatter out with every breath. Empty out. And then just sit with the emptiness. That’s it.

You’d be amazed what my clients report coming up in this space of emptiness. Entire solutions for year long problems have popped up, entire programs, life plans and more.

Give yourself space. The soul and your spirit guides speak clearest and loudest when we give them a space to feel safe to speak.

Practice these 3 things this week and you’ll notice you feel something in you opening up. Synchronicities will become more obvious. Ideas will rush in.

Above all, remember, you’re not supposed to do this alone. A soul-driven life & work is about understanding we’re here to enjoy our lives, not to work for hours alone with no support. Let your unseen helpers lighten some of your burden and inspire you. We create our best work when we are supported, nourished and in pleasure.

—-

Did you try this? How did it go? Would you like to see more articles like this? I’d love to know in the comments below. Your comments are always appreciated and let us know we’re on the right track and providing you with the content you love and need.

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When your purpose is to be nothing.

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“I have met brave [women and men] who are exploring the outer edge of human possibility,
with no history to guide them, and the courage to make themselves vulnerable…
that I find moving beyond words.” -Gloria Steinem–

—-

I’ll never forget the first time she said it to me.

Your ultimate destiny is to become nothing. Disappear. Dissolve.

I suddenly felt as if my brain was inside of a glass jar and that jar was now slowly being turned upside down as my brain bounced off against the smooth glass walls of its confinement. I blinked slowly in disbelief.

Maybe once I open my eyes, the answer will be different, I thought. Slowly the light began to come back into focus onto several sets of eyes peering back at me to gauge my reaction.

And then the loud familiar bells of my mind’s protest clanged in between my ears.

What the fuck is this? Bullshit!

My ego did not like this one bit. Everyone in this room had just been told what a big famous star they were about to be. You were born with a microphone in your hand. Born to have followers rabid over everything you do.

And here was I, the one that was supposed to be…nothing?

That old wounding, marked into my astrological chart from birth came back to haunt me as I felt a pang in my chest.

Your life lesson is being seen, the astrologer had told me long ago.
Feeling seen for who you really are. Issues of feeling not seen as you fully are, being misunderstood. And ultimately, it’s about allowing your power to be fully seen by the world, because you are meant for very, very big things. It’s all over your chart. But you will struggle with feeling not truly seen. You will learn how to be seen in a way that feels in integrity to you.

Those words rang in contrast to what this woman had just said to me.

Your purpose is to dissolve and disappear.

I was thoroughly confused now. Just one more case of not being seen and everyone else being lauded except me, I heard the 5 year old in me grumble. That old, dull pain flashed in me for an instant. And then I dismissed it, packing it away into one of the corners of my ribcage, hoping I’d never remember it again.

It was not a truth convenient for a woman who had spent most of her life fighting to be finally seen, to be told she is meant to be dissolved into nothing.

To my ego that meant I was unimportant. Invisible. Doomed to be passed over.

Why does no one ever see me.

While I hoped I’d forget what she said, I never did. It stayed there in my ribcage gnawing at me, as most truths do until we finally have the courage to face them, open-hearted and wide-eyed.

—-

Here I was now, sitting in this gorgeous mansion, leading a retreat with 13 amazing women. Retreats, you see, are my zone of genius. I know I am good at this. I love it with a passion. I know I can get results like you’ve never seen anywhere during a retreat. And the feeling I get from it is unlike anything else that I do, apart from writing. It is a pure state of flow, joy and confident, calm ecstasy.

A wise teacher once told me that you know you’ve reached your state of flow, your true calling, when you have a small part of you that says, this is so easy, I can’t believe I get paid to do this. This is what it feels like.

It’s not the kind of “easy” one feels at doing nothing. Or having a lazy day, mind-melding into the TV.

No, this kind of ease, it’s an active state. Where every cell within you is being used to serve the moment. In those moments or hours of deep presence, you forget you have a body. You forget to drink or eat. You forget who you are.

You are nothing except a pure embodiment of what is needed in that exact moment.

Often, you don’t remember what you did or said because every hair on your body is focused on pouring itself into the moment to create an opening, a gasp, a sharp intake of breath as something releases in the person across from you and their power comes rushing back into them like a river quenching land that had long been in drought. You can almost hear the life coming back to her, a low, crackling and sighing sound of relief.

Here I’d been all morning, working with my women. And now it was time for a break. And the women walked off, away from me, to talk to each other.

Something in me caught.

Wait a minute…

I could hear the tiny voice of my ego raising her hand, interrupting my state of presence.

They aren’t coming to you! They aren’t all clamoring for your time and attention. Like at all those other conferences you see, where everyone is dying to come talk to the speaker.

Something must be wrong, says my ego.

No, nothing is wrong. This feels good, says my soul. The wise part of me knows this is exactly how it is supposed to be. But the part of me that wants to deliver the best experience possible, that wants to be liked, keeps speaking up.

If they don’t need you, does this mean you’re not doing a good enough job?

The break ended and it was time to begin again. No time to think about that now, back to work.

But that night I drove home with that little nagging feeling in my ego that something isn’t right. I text my friend Sam. I’m feeling something but I don’t know what it is. It’s late, he’s sleeping now and probably won’t respond until tomorrow. So, I am left with my thoughts as I make the pitch-black drive down one mountain on ancient Chumash land and up the unclaimed mountain where my house lives.

I lay in bed, blinking in the darkness, trying to find clarity. What is this? This nagging, sharp feeling in my chest.

I press into it with my palm.

What? What do you need to tell me?, I ask my body.

And that memory I tucked away into my ribs a long time ago comes roaring back.

Your ultimate destiny is to become nothing. Disappear. Dissolve.

My eyes open wide as I finally understand what that woman meant, all those years ago.

I am so wired by this realization it takes me several hours to sleep. It is the feeling of being so in love that even the very insects seem to be singing. I stay up to feel the vibrations of this realization in my fingertips and bones.

And then I fall into nothingness and dreams.

—-

The High Priestess.

The great holder of space. She who empties herself out and becomes the chalice, waiting to be filled by the waterfalls of the sacred.

She who uses her own body to channel the holy water that is needed in the space around her. Whose most important job lies in simply watching as the souls around her are quenched.
Laying neither claim nor credit to any of it.

She who disappears her own visage momentarily in order to become the mirror for others to look into and heal. She who must slip easily in between worlds, undetected.

She whose job is not to “do” as the ego or the current world view would define it.
But rather sit.
Observe.
Empty.
Channel.
Disappear.

She whose job it is to set up the container and then get out of the way.

She whose shadow to overcome is to hide and not be seen.

She who must allow herself to be seen widely
as the chalice, the emptiness, the faceless.

She who must step out of the way in order to transmute the space & serve at her highest.

—-

The day I sat with the High Priestess, I cried for 8 hours.
I hated it so much.

I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I wanted to leave and never come back to this frequency.
It was hard.

But it was because my ego thought that being seen could only be done one way.

All I had been taught for years in this field doing what I love was that one must become a guru, a worshipped one. One must have followers that want to know what color lipstick they wear on Instagram. Or where to buy that cute dress. One must display a carefully curated lifestyle for others to aspire to.

This is the way one survives, say the voices of this world in which I do my great work.
This is the way one makes money and lives.

Being on the pedestal, with a mic in hand. Worshipped and lauded by many who’ve projected their value and worth on you in hopes that you will give it back to them, when in fact they’ve always had it all along.

Every authority out there telling me this since I began doing the work I do with others in my business. Every authority out there telling you to do this in any business. It is the way of the world. It is the way of fame and recognition. It is the way to get your work out there if you want to help others.

And yet something nagged at me always about it. For years. Something always didn’t feel quite right. I went to a lot of people to try to figure out what this jagged feeling in me was about. I never got the answers. I realized I was going to have to create the answers. To venture into a whole new way of being seen for which I had virtually no role models.

In this world we are told that all those who survive and succeed — they follow a formula.

What is valuable is what is tangible.
What is replicable. Blueprint. Template.
Step by step system.

In this world, what is good and holy is sitting in a hotel conference room with flipcharts. Loudly introducing yourself in any forum with your 7 figure revenue results to make sure people instantly give you cred and respect.

Waiting for your big entrance after being purposely inaccessible to establish “expert status”, then walking into a room full of roaring, cheering, adoring fans, with a mic attached to your ear and a wearing a fabulous dress you asked your instagram followers to help you pick and watching the hunger in your audience’s eyes.

There is a formula to this. If you follow it, you live. You make money. You prosper.

But there is always something about this that has felt off for me. There is something about this that feels contrived as I watch yet another woman replicate that formula. Because I have been in those rooms. And for some it is authentic to express this way and, this is not to put that form of expression down, if it is truly authentic and in alignment to them.

But more often than not, while everyone else is looking at her fabulous dress as she makes her way on to the stage in her Jimmy Choos…I am looking at something else.

A desperate flame hiding deep behind her eyes.
A flame that says I am on this stage because I was told to do it this way. I was told this is how I make money. How I survive. How I get to pay my dues before I finally get to do my art. And it worked. I made a lot of money. But something doesn’t feel right. I want more than this.

I always knew I just would never be that kind of avatar. And for years I told myself this was just my own resistance. That I was afraid of my own power and sabotaging myself for not doing it that way. Until I realized I’m here to be a whole other kind of power.

—-

In this world in which I work, the intangible, the soul work, is a strange thing.
An afterthought. The thing you work on after you make your money or get your fame.

How many times have I heard from women, I don’t want to work with you yet because first I have to go get the blueprint that will make me 7 figures.

They say: flipchart and 7 step system.
I say: holding space and witnessing.
They blink, blank-eyed, confused.

In this world view that is so prevalent, these intangible gifts hold no value. You cannot grasp them in your hand, mold them and easily see how to monetize them in the carefully developed formulas. So you throw them away. Or make them frivolous afterthoughts to be considered only after you’ve gotten your fame and your money.

The problem is these gifts cannot be measured with the measuring systems we have.
They cannot be monetized and sold like blueprints.

And yet, these are the greatest gifts I possess.
These are the greatest gifts so many of the women I work with possess.
These are the greatest gifts that our world so desperately needs right now.

These are the gifts that no one teaches us how to develop and own because we’re told they are not the gifts that make us money or create fame. I call bullshit on that.

I, and so many of the women who come to me, spent years secretly believing that we’d never succeed like we wanted to, because no one values our true gifts. So we warped it and made it more palatable for a while, for fear that we would not survive. But that never quite worked out as we had hoped. Something was always gnawing at us.

One cannot take the howl out of the wolf and force it to be a dog.

Flipcharts don’t channel the energetic transmission that is needed by a woman in the room who is finally ready to let go of her masks and embrace the power that she is. A skintight Herve Leger dress doesn’t hold a woman energetically as she breaks down crying and finally allows herself to be held by the sisters in circle around her. A blueprint cannot whisper a woman’s soul back into her body or remind her of her inherent worthiness.

If this world in which I do my work were to compare what I do when I’m in my zone of genius with their own grading and measuring system, it would say I do nothing of value. It would say my work is nothing. An afterthought.

For those who’ve come to me after the blueprint spat them out and left them wanting something more, there is a fear that says this is what I long to do, but because I see no one else doing this, why would anyone pay for that?

Their gifts don’t lie in flipcharts or blueprints. Or 7 step systems.

Their gifts lie in taking people into the cave of themselves.
Moving energy in a space that allows a person to get out of their own way.
Humming healing into the hip flexors of the body.
Chanting and communing with the earth under our feet to remind us of who we are.

These gifts require the one who channels them to become like the High Priestess:
Empty.

To put her ego Self aside and channel the greater thing that is needed in that moment for true transformation.

And if your job, your life’s calling, is to disappear so that what is needed in the space can rise…
If your job is to guide people not to the answers within you but rather, within themselves…

How can you conflate that with the formula of becoming a guru everyone worships and seeks answers from?

You cannot.

—-

Your ultimate destiny is to become nothing. Disappear. Dissolve.

—-

I am back in this room at my retreat, on break. The weekend is over. The women are walking out of the big wooden doors of the house and onto the grass. I watch as they chat away with each other, leaning in. They look as if they are about to walk off into the blue expanse of the sky, hand in hand. Each woman here is a leader now, deeply seated in her gifts. Capable of resourcing her own self. Accessing her own answers.

I am no longer feeling like I am doing something wrong.

I am enjoying watching them lean into each other. Give each other advice. I am watching each one of these women in her power, sharing her own gifts and in doing so, being the expert of her own dominion.

I am sitting back in my big chair with a smile on my face.

Congratulations, says my soul. They don’t need you. You are not “important”.
They don’t feel like they need to be around you to tap into their own power.
You did your job right.

You see, I realized that I was never meant to follow that formula in the first place, the one I learned. I have been realizing this for years.

I am not here to become the guru. I am here to model disappearing.

I am not here to be seen as this world demands we be seen — the one with the answers on the pedestal with the mic in hand.

Instead I am here to be a stand and a mirror for those intangible gifts of the Priestess that have been undervalued for so long.

Witnessing.
Holding space.
Moving energy.

I am here to be brave and hold those gifts plainly for all to see as I show up without pretense. Without all the answers. Not doing it the way we’re told we have to do it.

I am here not to teach but to point others back to the teacher within.
I am here not to “do” but to be.
I am here not to be seen but to express from the deep joy of my being.
I am here not to gain fans but to connect with the soul community of those I am here to serve.
I am here not to put my true soul gifts aside because they are not tangible, but instead to show that these gifts create financial success just like blueprints do and are worthy.

I am here to do all of this not for me, but for that woman who is standing in an uncomfortable dress on a stage doing what she was told to do to make money. So that she can see that she can do it a different way, the way her soul desires it. What her heart is truly longing to do, is possible. And that she will survive.

I am not here to be seen as “something” as this world that worships the tangible defines it.
I am here to be serve as a lighthouse for those who are here to heal the world through dissolving their egos and pouring every cell of their being into serving the present moment.

And if you’re reading this, and you’re moved, I know that is you, too.

—-

Your ultimate destiny is to become nothing. Disappear. Dissolve.

—-

Beloved one, I’d love to hear from you below. How did this resonate? Are you here to “be nothing” too? Post in the comments below.

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