cocaine, yoga and instagram superstars

Go online, to a networking event, or join a mastermind and you’ll notice this: everyone says they want to make seven figures and beyond. Impact the world. Speak at the UN. Become the thought leader darling of their industry. Get on Oprah. Or the New York Times Bestseller List. Have a Fortune 500 company.

But here’s the truth: few cultivate the CAPACITY to receive, show up for, and handle their seven-figure/UN speaker/Oprah-Superstar-version self.

That’s when you see someone hit their big goal, but shortly after they’re getting divorced, their life is falling apart, anxiety has hit an all-time high, or the behind the scenes is a sh$t show.

I’ll never forget the Instagram star I knew of who had an entire seven-figure brand built around holistic wellness and yoga. In reality, the pressure of it all was getting to her. She had spent so much time and energy working with business coaches to grow her business fast, that she had completely neglected her capacity. So here she was with a million dollars in revenue, and no capacity to handle any of the pressures that come at that level of influence and earnings.

She was addicted to cocaine and navigating some intense depression in her posh city apartment. In between bouts of heavy smoking, she’d take some photos of her perfect poses against her infinity pool. She’d then post those photos, or a photo of a green smoothie she would never actually drink, over on Instagram. It was all a lie.

She felt so lost and uninspired by what she’d built. Not sure what to do or where to go from here. I’ve seen this happen time and time again to womxn who start out with an incredible mission, only to get sucked up into its vortex and feel like they’ve lost themselves. Maybe not to this extreme, but it happens to ALL of us at some point, on some level.

Or you’ve heard the stories of the people who won the lottery and within a year had lost it all and were worse off than before. Why does this happen?

In short: it’s a capacity issue.

In the last ten years, womxn of all levels of success have come to me after hitting a mysterious plateau that ALL of them hit after a few years into their mission. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard things like…

  • Suddenly I’m uninspired by what I built (even if what they built was pretty amazing and successful), I don’t know who I am anymore and I feel like quitting it all.
  • I’m known for being good at what I do. I had a very successful career, but lately it’s just plateauing, and we can’t seem to grow as quickly as we did before.
  • No matter what expert or business coach I hire, I just can’t seem to bust past this plateau that showed up.  
  • I’ve thrown so much money at this issue, hired all the “best” people, and nothing seems to be working.
  • The things that used to work for us like gangbusters are no longer working for us. I’m freaking out that I’m going to lose it all and I don’t know what is going on.
  • I know it’s time to leave the company I built and move on to start a new one that really shows who I am, but I’m terrified and keep getting stuck.
  • I know it’s time to move to the next level, but juggling my growing business, kids, and everything else on my plate, I don’t see how this can even happen. I’m already overwhelmed.

…I’d probably have a suitcase full of cash.

And if you’re reading this, you might have said at least one of the above recently.

Now, a business coach or strategist might look at the above statements and think “hmmm, maybe if we just tweak their funnel” or “oh, it’s a leads problem” or “all we have to do is negotiate a raise” or give you some “high performance/time management hacks”.

Trust me, I spent about $100,000 on all of the above many years ago until finally, one day, I realized it was NONE of those things. It was my CAPACITY.

Every person who has said one of the statements above had already tried business coaches, “high performance” coaches, money manifestation coaches, crystals, psychics, and strategists. They were STILL feeling the same. Even after spending a lot of time, energy, & money.

Do you know what I knew that none of those ‘strategy experts’ knew? ALL of the above statements are HUGE RED BLINKING SIGNS of a CAPACITY issue.

What drives me crazy is how many ambitious womxn STILL think they can build a LONG LASTING, successful career or business WITHOUT capacity work. Or that capacity work can be left till “later”. Or that a few mindset courses mean they’ve “done capacity work”.  

Oh no, that is BARELY scratching the surface, my love.  

In the last decade, I have heard SO many womxn tell me they need to prioritize the strategist, the business coach, the branding expert, and the strategic mastermind, and put their money over there FIRST.

That’s when you end up building a really successful business or career… and then everything starts to fall apart.

Or you feel lost.

Or you want to burn it all down and start over again.

Or you don’t remember if what you do has any value anymore…

This is what I call a “capacity crisis”.

Or you get to a certain level and then you plateau and can’t move past that revenue level.

Or you realized you have shitty people all around you that aren’t supporting you.  

Or you start having panic attacks at 4am and don’t know if you want to do this anymore.  

Or your marriage implodes.

Then, you end up plateauing and all you worked so hard for stops growing.

And if you think this won’t happen to you, think again.  

I don’t care what level of successful or influential you are — you WILL hit a plateau at some point if you haven’t prioritized your capacity. It’s coming, whether you like it or not.

Every level of your life and business requires MORE capacity from you. And if you don’t have it, there is no way you will build something that is SUSTAINABLY successful.

This is an INESCAPABLE truth.

Everyone is in such a hurry to say they made seven figures, to get to it and surpass it, to get invited to that mastermind on the billionaire’s island, or to get a selfie with the industry star to prove they’ve made it — and while those things are fun — so few have stopped to ask themselves why they are in such a hurry to get there, or if they’ve built the structures and emotional capacity to handle it all when they do.

You say you want those things — but do you actually have the capacity to truly enjoy those things, receive, handle, and GROW them when you get there?

Do you have the capacity to turn big opportunities down when they don’t feel aligned because you know they don’t define you? Because trust me, you WILL have to turn some things down or risk selling your soul, and as a result, hitting a wall later on in your career.  

If you don’t take the time to build your capacity WHILE building your “empire”, you can have Oprah and Richard Branson themselves advising you –– but you WILL hit a major plateau and get knocked on your ass eventually. It is UNAVOIDABLE.

Or maybe, just maybe the strategy is not the problem — maybe none of those systems or coaches are working for you to get to the next level, no matter how hard you try to tweak your message, your branding, your audience, your funnel etc… because it has nothing to DO with your strategy at all.

You can keep relying on strategies and ‘mindset hacks’ to keep growing, but how truly sustainable is your success?

Or you can focus on expanding your capacity and have the wherewithal to handle the kinds of challenges that arise at that level of earning, managing, and showing up.

You choose.

Cause it’s NOT your strategy, it’s your capacity.


Want to expand your capacity by returning some of the energy you got from this post? Tell me in the comments what you got out of it!

In love and capacity,






ps: Want to start diving deep into capacity work?

I’ve just opened up 5 spots to my invite-only, 2019 Capacity Retreat.  

During the Capacity Retreat, we’ll be diving deep into the six different capacities successful womxn MUST address and expand if they want to reclaim their agency and solidify their legacy.

Spend a weekend with me and up to 14 other womxn in my beautiful home in Santa Barbara, California, expanding your capacity to a whole other level.

It is the first solo retreat I have opened up to the public in three years and it’s already 50% sold out within just days of opening it up to my waitlist!  

This is an intimate, invite-only retreat for only fifteen womxn, so if you want an invite and to get more info, with:

  1. your name
  2. website address
  3. why the retreat is calling your name (what’s going on for you right now)

We’ll write you back with more info and an invite if we feel the retreat is what can serve you the most at this time! This is an invite-only retreat, so you must reply with the info requested above to get an invite.

Also, it goes without saying: serious inquiries only. I only want to work with womxn who are ready to truly prioritize expanding their capacity — so that means you are willing to move what you need to move to be there – no excuses. Because you’re either prioritizing your capacity or you’re not. Yes, it really is that simple. I tell you the truth because I care


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