you, yourself and you


lisa fabrega

A participant at my yearly Mary Magdalene retreat in France.


A few years ago, I got to be a witness to one of the worst program launches in history. My poor friend had poured months of work into this new program and opening day was here! But EVERYTHING went wrong.

She had THREE THOUSAND people signed up for her webinars where she would sell her new program. But on the day of the webinar, the software had an unforeseeable glitch. This was not her fault at all. It was an uncontrollable tech meltdown. But thousands of people couldn’t get on to the webinar. Only 300 were able to attend in the end.

She received over 250 emails in her inbox with angry people saying TERRIBLE things to her because they couldn’t get on the webinar. Then, got 150 more nasty comments on her Facebook page. People even accused her of lying about the webinar as a “trick” to get them to buy her program (I’m not sure how that “technique” would even work, but this is how furious people were).

She THEN discovered her Facebook ads also had a glitch and that she’d been overcharged $5,000 dollars by mistake. And last but not least, her shopping cart page stopped working on the final day of the launch, which meant hundreds weren’t able to buy the program she was offering and just gave up.

She ended the launch with half of the numbers she normally enrolled. It was a total FLOP.

I remember the voice messages she left me during this time. Hysterical crying, profound depression, feeling like her whole business was crashing down. Big fights with her team members over issues that were no one’s fault. Trying to pick fights with me, even.  

In the end, she had to take two weeks off after the launch to do nothing because of the emotional trauma it created for her. And a cherished and crucial member of her team sent her a message quitting because of how verbally abusive and stressful her demeanor had been during the launch.

Here’s the thing, my friend was NOT an a-hole.  

But the little things that went wrong with her launch sent her into such an emotional tailspin she’d actually sabotaged her own launch. When glitches happened, she didn’t possess the capacity to take a breath, find the humor in the situation and do her best to keep filling the program through other means.

Instead, she allowed her ego to freak out and create a story that her business was going to “tank” over this one little launch. She went into such a panic she lost all her creativity, cried for two weeks straight and exhausted herself and her team so badly they lost two weeks of momentum having to recover from the whole experience.

Can you see how this is NO way to run a successful career or business? And how this would get in your way long term?

My friend had no Boundary Capacity. Yes, this is a Boundary Capacity issue. 

And it’s the MOST ignored part of our usual boundaries conversation: the boundaries we set with our own selves.

This, in combination with emotional capacity, is one of the biggest things I work on with clients. Do you have the emotional fortitude to withstand the stresses of going for your biggest goals?

And do you have the proper SELF-boundaries to STOP yourself from going into an emotional rollercoaster ride that’ll ruin your momentum?

This is THE hardest part of navigating a successful career or business. And believe me, it happens at ALL levels of business. I’ve seen $10 million dollar business owners verbally abuse innocent backstage bystanders because they were upset over messing up their talk. I’ve seen career women who make $50,000 to $300,000 a year emotionally work themselves up into quitting over a small thing gone wrong.

Have you ever had a friend send you a link to someone else doing something similar to what you do? Did your ego freak out and tell you, “See? They’re doing it so much better. Why even try? All of your work has been a waste of time because someone else was doing it better and cheaper?” Did you go into a week of emotional crisis, losing time and momentum in the process? Did it stop you from posting about your work for weeks or cause you to delay the launch of a new program?

How about getting an email from a client complaining about your program, or telling you “they haven’t seen any results and want a refund?” Did you ever receive an email like that and allow it to make you doubt your expertise and whether you should even be doing what you’re doing? Did this affect you for weeks, to the point where you lost inspiration for putting your message out there or you hid from visibility in shame over one client’s words?

There are a million other examples I could give you, but if anything similar to the above has ever happened to you, then you have a Boundary Capacity issue.

In order to succeed and continuously grow our impact, wealth and success, we MUST be able to set emotional boundaries with ourselves.

Every time you let your emotions get the best of you, you’re placing an obstacle in front of your path. This slows you down like weights around your ankles and affects your ability to keep a continuous upward trajectory in your work. And then you wonder why you feel frustrated or like you should be further ahead by now.

This is the BIGGEST boundary issue most ambitious women like you miss. I don’t want you to keep missing it. Because it really is one of the “silent killers” of your momentum and success.

That’s exactly why I created my NEW Virtual Boundary Capacity Retreat.  

Because we’re not just going to work on your boundaries with others. We’re going to work on the most important boundaries, the ones you set with yourself. We’ve got to get you better at stopping those tailspins BEFORE they sabotage your success and growth.

If Oprah asked me right now, “What’s the most important skill a person needs to build a successful career or business they dream of?” I’d put “good emotional boundaries with one’s self” at the top of that list.

And I have GREAT news. Due to popular demand, I’ve ADDED one last date for this retreat. 

Many of you wrote in saying you wanted a December date. So I’m granting you that wish.

Enrollment has already closed for both the remaining November dates. This is the LAST Boundary Capacity retreat I will ever do. Yes. We aren’t doing this one next year.

So this is your last chance to join us to work on your Boundary Capacity.

You can get ALL the details and your questions answered right here.



In love & capacity,