daddy issues, money issues.


lisa fabrega

25 sept

Picture of a client at one of my mastermind retreats in Santa Barbara.


Several years ago, I was scrolling through Facebook when yet another ad from some ‘guru’ offering to ‘triple my revenue’ popped up. I rolled my eyes, clicked ‘hide ad’ and moved on.

I’d spent two years stuck at $300,000 in revenue in my business at that point.  I’d hired at least 5 – 6 different coaches and experts, read at least three books on the topic and been tempted by at least fifty social media ads (of which 20 I bought something from) that promised the solution.  

All of them said the same thing “if you follow my x step formula, you can get to a million dollars just like I did!”.  Often there were fancy cars in the background, or they were standing in a mansion in Bali or some other fabulous place.  

These ads created such a longing inside of me that always turned into pain and frustration.  

“Why are THEY already at seven figures when they’ve only been in this business half as long as I have?  Why am I not making at least as much money when I know my work creates ten times the amount of transformation than theirs does?” 

I’d repeat this to myself daily like a broken record stuck in a never-ending comparisonitis loop. 

I had these thoughts and feelings because I felt like I had tried every single last thing, had continuously spent savings that I replenished, only to then spend again on another person who would feel confident they could solve my problem…until they couldn’t.  No one could help me break past my revenue plateau, it seemed.

It was torturous, it was starting to affect my confidence and it made me feel like no one ‘got’ me and maybe I was just ‘not cut out’ to have the LARGE impact I longed to have.

None of these things were working: Working harder. Strategies. The best business coaches and funnel experts.  Facebook ad gurus that promised me a huge return on my investment. Amazing funnel experts. Manifesting formulas, crystals and a million sessions with my energy healer. 

Full confession: I got to the point where I got REALLY jaded. I was downright cynical about anything actually helping me.  So after throwing $100,000 at the problem, I decided to stop paying more strategic experts to help me find the problem and solve it. I was having a temper tantrum towards the Universe and ‘digging in my heels’ so to speak.

Today I’m SO GLAD that I got jaded and had my temper tantrum.  

Because, like you, I’m one of those people that just won’t give up on something until I find the solution. And sometimes giving up on the way you’ve been trying to solve a money problem is exactly what you need to do to find the RIGHT way.

Getting jaded caused me to STOP looking at strategies as the ONLY solution.  And it made me start examining something FAR more influential to my earnings than any strategy: my CAPACITY.

In my particular case, I had to start looking at my Money Capacity™.  

When I ‘gave up’, I started asking myself crucial questions about whether I TRULY was ready to hold, handle and receive the money I wanted to make beyond $300,000.  Did I really have the things I needed to have in place to be able to generate and comfortably handle that amount of money?

When I asked myself those questions, I did what we all have to do in order to have a real breakthrough: I answered REALLY honestly.  Painfully so.  

And I realized that the problem wasn’t that I didn’t have amazing strategies and strategists on my side. The real problem was that I didn’t have the MONEY CAPACITY to RECEIVE, HOLD & HANDLE all the money I said I wanted to bring in. 

I actually wasn’t ready, even though I had already achieved multiple six figures.  This is why I always say, money capacity affects EVERY ONE OF US. No matter what your earning level is.

And don’t get me wrong.  I’m like you: I didn’t want to just make money for money’s sake.  (That’s part of why those ‘get rich like me’ ads bothered me, too).  

What I’ve always loved about making money is what I can DO with that money to help others and leave a legacy. I want to make $100 million dollars or more not so that I can have fifty fancy cars in an airplane hangar somewhere in New Jersey, but instead, so that I can do things with it to change the world. Change at the levels where only THAT kind of money can heavily influence and create a more positive, equal and healthy world where abuse is no longer the norm. 

In my opinion, that’s what money is for. It’s a powerful change agent for good, when in the right, CAPABLE hands.

In asking myself these and OTHER much harder questions, I started to do the work of expanding my money capacity (and don’t get me wrong: asking yourself the hard questions isn’t ALL there is to money capacity work.  It’s a whole system I’ve developed that no one else is teaching right now).

And what I realized as I did my own money capacity work is that waaaaay down deep inside, one of the beliefs I was carrying within me was fear of surpassing my father in earning.  


Now, this was not my father’s fault and he’d tell you he only wishes for me to thrive and make all the money I want.  But because I always felt connected to my father on the ‘entrepreneurial’ level (because we were the only entrepreneurs in my immediate family for a long time), I at some point made a silent, one-sided agreement with him, unbeknownst to him.

You see, as I dug deeper into the reasons for my limited money capacity, I saw I’d decided as a child that if I made more money than him, I would ‘leave him behind’.  And he’d be ‘alone’. As a child, I’d always felt my father got picked on and emasculated in many ways by some of the strong women in my family.  

I didn’t like it.  It felt hurtful, even though he laughed and seemed to love it. So I unconsciously made a secret agreement when I was young that I’d always ‘stick by him’ energetically, wanting to make sure at least one person showed him he was respected and looked up to.  

One of the ways I ‘stuck by him’ and chose ‘not to emasculate’ him was by subconsciously making sure I didn’t earn more than he did.

When I realized this was just ONE of the things at the core of my money capacity limitations, I was SHOCKED.  I had NO idea this was there. And I had been teaching and participating in personal development, PLUS going to weekly therapy for YEARS at that point.  

When I tell you this knocked me on my ass like a stun gun, it did.  Especially because I’ve always thought of myself as a person who is generally very comfortable making a lot of money. And I’d always wanted to make more money than my parents did. So, it shook my identity to the core.

This is a pretty damn vulnerable share for me.  But I’m telling you this because most of the time we THINK we know what the core of our money capacity issue is.  BUT in actuality, we have NO IDEA and it’s something we never, ever could have imagined on our own.  

Like my client who couldn’t move past $200,000 in earning for five years.  Only to discover that when she was 12, her father walked out on her mother the day she was given a raise that would put her salary above his…at $200,000.

Or my client who was taught she had to be silent and small in order to receive approval.  So she put off buying her dream property for YEARS and left it in the bullshit category of ‘someday’ (someday always means never. Don’t lie to yourself.) ‘Silent and small self’ was running the show on all her money decisions and told her it was way too ‘big’ to buy land.

In ALL cases, working on Money Capacity™ not only helped me FINALLY break past my $300,000 plateau, but it also helped my clients do the same (and helped my other client buy her dream home with ease and confidence).

You think you don’t have a money capacity issue…until suddenly it’s right in your face and it’s too late to prevent.  You think you know what’s causing you to plateau or not have the same level of satisfaction with your earning as before…and I can almost guarantee, you don’t.  

Our biggest breakthroughs around our money and our earning potential always lie in our biggest blind spots.  So, no, you DON’T know what your real money capacity issue is. And until you pinpoint the real issue, you’re going to keep repeating the same patterns.

This is why we need people who know how to help us pinpoint the REAL problem in order to stop spinning our wheels and find a real solution to our money capacity issues.

That’s exactly why, after the incredible success of our virtual Visibility Capacity retreats (all 3 sold out), I KNEW the next topic we had to cover was the topic everyone scrambles away from and avoids: MONEY.

If you don’t find the REAL thing that’s holding you back from reaching your full financial potential, you know what else gets held back? Your life purpose. Your impact. The very particular way only you are here to change the world.

That’s why I say to you always, Money Capacity dictates EVERYTHING.  Everything.

We have ONE SPOT left for tomorrow’s virtual Money Capacity retreat.  I KNOW someone reading this knows it’s for them.

And we have a few spots left for the other two dates we’re offering for this retreat (though those are starting to fill up, too).

I know you might feel cynical about ‘one more thing’ that promises you’re going to have a money breakthrough.  But believe me when I tell you, there’s nothing like capacity work out there. That’s why I had to create it. Because I was fed up, like you.

If you’re ready to get to the CORE of your Money Capacity™ issue so you can finally get on the path to real results around your ability to earn, save and invest larger and larger sums of money…I invite you to join us.

Within the span of just four hours (with breaks), you’ll walk away with a true understanding of what’s holding you back and what you need to do to break past your money plateau. You’ll STOP looking for saviors outside of you to give you the solution and instead you’ll KNOW exactly what your money capacity issue is and what you need to do.

You can learn more details about what you’ll learn in the retreat, what you can expect and how to enroll by clicking on the button below.

Our first virtual retreat is happening TOMORROW. Let’s be courageous and look in the money mirror, shall we?

Lisa Fabrega

Ps: Those ‘Bali mansions’ and ‘fancy cars’ I mentioned earlier?  The ones that are in so many ads for people promising you to ‘10x your income’?  

Here’s a little secret: most of those are rented out on Airbnb or through a car rental agency, not actually owned by the people selling to you in the ad. 

Posturing wealth is also a BIG money capacity issue I see all the time. Feeling like your message isn’t worthy of being heard unless you’re performing wealth is ALSO a money capacity issue. 

Pps: if you have any questions, just email and we’ll be happy to answer. I want to help you to make sure this is the right thing for you!