“I think I’m codependent in my business!”
This was what a client exclaimed to me on our private call a few weeks ago. She first came to work with me because she’d been in the business coaching program of a pretty famous business coach, yet her business was still struggling to get clients and she couldn’t find the motivation to show up consistently.
Was it the big, famous business coach’s fault? Nope. Her program was great, so this isn’t about throwing shade. But, my client’s problem wasn’t a strategy issue. She learned some great strategies from that big business coach’s program. She just didn’t have the CAPACITY to implement and execute upon those strategies in an aligned way to get the results she wanted in her business.
What caused her to exclaim what she did? In our session we were digging deep as to why she:
- still didn’t have a consistent stream of clients coming in.
- had some lackluster experiences with clients who were unmotivated, disengaged and didn’t do their homework.
- felt hella confused about her branding and what her “core message” was (even after being in business for several years).
- had the same, repeated arguments with her spouse
- kept a friendship going with a person who didn’t put any effort into the relationship
Why was all of the above still going on, even though she’d been in such a great business coaching program prior to working with me?
In our session we discovered she was still subtly trying to “be liked”. In her personal relationship AND in her business. So she wrote all of her marketing copy and branded her entire website with this subtle undertone of wanting to be liked.
She didn’t call out self-sabotaging clients for the same reason–she cared more about them liking her than them hearing the much-needed and transformational truth spoken to them.
She also only worked on her business “when she was inspired” by it. That means she wasn’t consistent in her marketing efforts, and we all know that is a huge part of the equation to running a successful, consistently-revenue-generating business.
“Lisa, I’m using my business as a place to make friends instead of stepping into my CEO level self”, she exclaimed. I could feel the depth of her realization in the tone of her voice.
Wanting to be liked is a capacity issue that is really effing up your business, your work and your relationships. In particular it’s a Visibility Capacity issue (because you don’t allow your true self to be fully seen in all you do.)
Wanting to be liked makes you write lukewarm marketing messages that don’t showcase ANY of your unique qualities in your work. It makes you a tepid service provider who attracts clients who don’t get the best results they could get with you because you’re not willing to show them the truth.
Wanting to be liked kills your money-making potential, too. Because you’re just, boring, bland and average. It attracts clients that become nightmares because you always have to be “polite” rather than help them see the truth. And it attracts relationships with people where you feel like you can never be yourself.
See how this has nothing to do with a perfect strategy? My client could have followed ALL the steps of her business coach’s “step by step guaranteed success business formula” and still not gotten the results. Because wanting to be liked was dulling everything that was unique and powerful about her.
Since we’ve been working on her capacity, she’s already noticed some big shifts. She got her first offer up on her website. She’s finally feeling real momentum, something that had eluded her despite having the best strategists to learn from.
Are you doing the same thing?
Consider you don’t need another “formula” and instead you need to work on your capacity to not give AF who does and doesn’t like you. When you get there, you attract soulmate clients, you don’t feel embarrassed to charge what you charge, you form genuine friendships and you stop using your business or career as a plaything and turn it into something serious, successful and profitable.
Ready to get THOSE kinds of results? Join us here.