scary stalker

 

A few weeks ago I was speaking with a client about a big problem that had popped up for her recently. An irate customer who was obsessed with demanding all his money back, even though she had responsibly delivered the service he paid for.  He was borderline stalking her online and kept threatening her over email. 

Then in the same week, I spoke with another client who was having a similar experience.  A woman had signed up for one of her programs and seemed to think that 38 years of problems could be solved in one 3 hour VIP day and when her entire life wasn’t fixed, she tried to dispute the charge with her bank. 

This created my client’s first dispute on a spotless credit record for the last 15 years of doing business. While the law was on her side, it was creating so much stress and extra work for her as she had to send documents to the client’s bank proving services were delivered and legal documents had been signed.

Now maybe you don’t have a customer doing this, maybe you do. Maybe the way this shows up for you is that in your corporate job you always subtly sabotage your next raise or promotion. It somehow always seems to slip out of your hands. 

Or maybe this is someone else in your life like a loved one or family member, or a member of your team. It can happen in virtually any life or work situation.

Regardless of how this pops up for each one of us individually,  these situations are extremely upsetting and can really knock you off the momentum you need to keep in order to stay on track for your next-level goals.

Here’s the REALLY  interesting thing about this that will make you go “hmmmm”.

As you read the above, you probably thought “oh, well maybe this is a boundary issue” or “maybe they need to be more clear on setting realistic expectations for clients who have unrealistic expectations to avoid these situations in the future”. And you wouldn’t be wrong.  

But MORE than this being a Boundary Capacity™ issue…

This was actually a Money Capacity™ issue in disguise.  


Here’s how:

For my client with the borderline stalker client, we had been working together for 3 months and in those 3 months, she’d been experiencing three of her highest income months ever.  

While she was so proud of herself, underneath there was also a fear of “when is the other shoe going to drop” and “wow, do I really get to embrace this as my new reality?”

During the month her stalker client started harassing her, her income went from $30,000 a month to $15,000 a month. You could chalk it up to the normal up and down cash flow of the business.  But I knew better.

My other client with the client filing a dispute against her, had had a similar situation happening for her.  In the 5 months we’d been working together, she’d gone from a half-full roster of clients to selling out all her available spots and raising her prices for the first time in years.  This had been something she was afraid of doing, and yet, even when she did it, she sold out!

Both of my clients were experiencing a money capacity issue.  Because as they started to earn more and more money through expanding their capacity, they hit their money capacity ceiling without realizing it.  

And as a result, secret self-sabotage crept in.  

For my first client, she realized she should have vetted this stalker client more thoroughly.  And then she booked a few other clients who ended up taking a lot of her time, but paid her less money, so all of these subtle sabotaging behaviors ended up declining her revenue by 50%. 

And the second client had a fear that a sold-out roster meant less time with her kids.  But because she was working on her capacity with me, she actually had more time than ever.  This felt “different” to her. After years of overworking, she was still expanding to receive her next more easeful level.  

So, a subtle form of ego sabotage kicked in and unconsciously relaxed the way she on-boarded clients and lo and behold attracted a difficult client who created a very stressful and time-consuming situation for her around her spotless financial and transactional record for more than a decade.

Luckily, they had hired me to help them navigate expanding their capacity.  I immediately identified this as the “rubber band effect”. Something that happens to all of us when we are expanding our capacity.  

You see our nervous systems are used to a certain amount of money capacity.  And when we challenge that capacity to expand and receive, hold and handle MORE money, our nervous systems freak out a little.  They aren’t used to that much money yet.  

And that’s where capacity work comes in.  

One of the key elements to expanding your capacity to receive more money is recalibrating your nervous system to NOT freak out and go into fight or flight mode when you have a record breaking money month (or a huge opportunity to make more money lands in your lap).

Both of my clients have texted me this week to tell me that expanding their money capacity after we identified it as the real issue has already created huge shifts in them.

One of them stood up for herself and has now worked on creating better systems to vet unstable clients, so she’ll never allow an issue like this to affect her money flow again!

And the other client has also done a re-check of all her messaging and is being really clear with potential clients that her work is a process and she won’t be solving all their problems in 3 hours.

Now the money is ready to flow into a container that isn’t afraid to receive it fully.

I want the SAME thing for you.

So many people set money goals and then don’t reach them. That’s because you aren’t addressing the expanding the capacity of your nervous system to receive, hold and handle that money you want to generate.

Then it takes three times as long or you keep hiring strategic experts and wondering WHY nothing is working.

It’s because it’s not about your strategy, it’s about your capacity.

I want to help you start recalibrating your nervous system to receive MORE at your next level– whether you’re making $50,000 a year or $10 million a year- the same issues pop up for all of us.  In fact, here’s a message from a participant of last week’s SOLD OUT Money Capacity retreat below. She realized while on the live virtual retreat listening to another participant who makes three times the amount she does that Money Capacity affects us at all earning levels:

We have only THREE spots left for this week’s retreat on October 5th.

And just a few left for October 10th.

And if you feel skeptical, here is some feedback from women who attended last week’s retreat:

 

Listen, you can come to one of these and in one day have your nervous system experience some deep recalibration or…

you can just keep spinning your wheels.

If you’re ready to do some work that will actually make a difference in what you can receive, join us.

We are about to sell out of both dates. Don’t miss it.

Learn more by clicking the gold button below.

In love and capacity,

Lisa Fabrega

Ps: have any questions or wonder if this is just going to be one more thing you threw money at that didn’t work? Send a mail to support@lisafabrega.com and I’ll be happy to answer your questions/address your fears.


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