TW: you won’t believe what goes on


lisa fabrega

Sept 13

Last week I told you we’re going to talk about Money Capacity for the next few weeks. I announced
three NEW virtual retreats dedicated to expanding your Money Capacity. Within just a few hours dozens of you had written in with a “hell yes!” to enrolling.

I also prepared you for the fact that in our convo about money for the next few weeks, we won’t be discussing the same stuff every money guru talks about.  This conversation will be DIFFERENT. It will go deep, instead of barely scratching the surface.  

And I warned you that you might get triggered and it may not be pleasant to confront some of the shadows you’re holding around your Money Capacity.  

That’s okay, you’ve got to confront your ‘stuff’ in order to expand your Money Capacity.  So, we’ll breathe through this together. 

First, let’s start by defining Money Capacity.  

Money Capacity is your ability to earn, save and invest increasingly larger and larger sums of money in ways that support your vision and mission. When your money capacity is out of alignment it shows up as abdication of financial responsibilities.


…today I’m going to speak about some interesting practices that I have experienced and witnessed that are signs that you have a Money Capacity issue.  

Some of these are subtle and can easily fly under your radar or hide out in your subconscious…some are “generally accepted” societally, so we think they’re not a big deal (even though they definitely affect your money capacity)…while others are so glaring they will blow your mind.

Let me preface this by saying: The more I talk about Money Capacity, I seem to repeatedly get a variation of the same question. It goes something like: “How do I know if I have Money Capacity challenges or if I’m simply being smart financially?”

The best way for me to address this is to provide some clear, everyday examples of subtle, and not-so-subtle, behaviors that will definitively show you whether you’re a burgeoning financial star or if you’re going toe-to-toe with your own money capacity.

See if you can find yourself in these examples:


Sharing copyrighted software.

  • Sharing another service provider’s program login details with your friends or colleagues, or any other software you’ve purchased, is a subtle way to be out of alignment around your money capacity.  Would you like it if the program you worked so hard on and put so much money into got paid for once and shared with five other people? Let’s be honest, this is just stealing. 
  • Money is energetically influenced.  If you won’t pay for software or you share one license with dozens of people, what do you think you’re telling the Universe energetically about how you value others work (and your work) with this behavior?


Downloading music or videos for free.

  • This one’s self explanatory.  We have lots of excuses for this one “oh, they make so much money already, they can afford to lose a few payments for this song or this video”.  But put yourself in their shoes. If you’ve ever had someone expect something you worked hard to create…for free, well then now you know what it feels like and why this is stunting your own money capacity.  


Not giving attributions to photographers in photos they use online.

  • Please don’t make your photographer have to ask for you to tag them or give them credit every time you post a photo they took of you.  
  • It takes years of training, time, money (buying equipment, time to edit photos etc…) to get to that perfect image that you love.  I get it that iPhones can make people feel like taking photos is as easy as slapping a filter on a photo, but there is so much more that goes on behind a good photo.  
  • Money thrives and flows when the exchange of energy is even.  Not issuing credit where it’s due creates an imbalanced energetic exchange and robs the photographer of the credit they are justly due. 
  • The only time it’s okay to not give credit is if a photographer says it’s not necessary and gives consent to no credit.
  • What message do you think it sends to the Universe about how you value services (and how you expect people to value yours) when you don’t give credit for someone’s work?


Repeatedly asking a friend for advice on their topic of expertise without paying for it.

  • Also included in this is: 
    • creating “peer-led masterminds” that you invite your expert friend into, because you don’t want to pay them for their brilliant advice. This is a sneaky way to get free coaching from them.
    • Texting “just one question” to them, over and over again.
    • Asking to take them to lunch to “pick their brain”
  • Not only is this a Money Capacity issue, it’s also a Boundary Capacity issue. So many women complain to me that they are tired and burned out.  Most of the time it’s because they have poor boundaries and say yes to invitations like this.  
  • If you want your friend’s professional, in-depth advice, pay her for it. (Unless she offers it for free of her own accord and willingly.  But I’ll tell you, the energy and attention you get from me as a friend when you pay me to support you is different than the energy you get from me when I give you free, off-the-cuff advice).  
  • So many women complain about people trying to always get things for free and “bargain” with them, yet they won’t pay their own friends for their advice and devise ways to get thousands of dollars of coaching advice for free from their colleagues.


Booking free sessions with experts and coaches when you have no intention of investing in their offers, but instead use their time to “get to know” the person, get free coaching, or you take up their strategy session to sell your wares to them without their consent.

  • When you book a spot for a free strategy session with a person, you are literally taking away that spot from someone who had every intention of investing. Which means by taking up that spot, the person has now lost money they could have made by speaking to someone that was ready to invest in their offer.
  • Also, the whole ‘let me pretend to want to work with you so I can sell you my thing’ or become friends with you is non-consensual.  Really think about it.  Not only have you now taken up a spot that they could have offered to someone who wanted to invest in their offer, but now you’re giving them a sales pitch they didn’t request.  
  • If you’ve ever done this, or if you’re still doing this, it should be no surprise when it’s done to you. Energy matches energy.  This is not to shame you, but to help you break past your own earning/money plateaus by reflecting on where you’re subconsciously creating reality through your own actions.


Being late to pick up your child and balking at paying extra for childcare.

  • Fifteen minutes extra that the caretaker spent caring for your child and keeping them safe, is fifteen minutes that have now been taken away from her/his own self-care and/or family.  Compensate them for that loss.  
  • When you’re in the energy of abundance and you have money capacity, you do so happily.  What kind of message do you think it sends the Universe about your energy around money if you try to haggle over 15 minutes of extra pay that is well deserved?


Inviting someone to your telesummit or podcast and asking them to share teachings only their paid clients get because YOU want to learn for free instead of paying that person to coach you.

  • Have I ever told you about the time someone invited me to be a guest on their telesummit to speak about one simple topic for 30 minutes, and then when I was being interviewed live, put me on the spot for an hour and bombarded me with a million other questions not related to what we agreed to speak on, so I’d coach her about her business for free? Yes, it happened. And, yes, I was mortified.
  • This is scarcity-related behavior, it’s bait-and-switch and it’s non-consensual. What message do you think it sends about someone’s willingness to be and trust in abundance when someone does this?


Being a clock watcher when you’ve invested in working with someone.

  • If you’re feeling complete when being coached, but there’s still 10 minutes before your session is technically supposed to end,  do you find things to talk about with your coach or service provider “just to make sure you’re getting your full money’s worth and fill every minute”? Or do you feel complete, end the call early but then ask your coach to add those 10 minutes on to your next session? Or better yet, not asking for a “credit” and being generous with the person who’s helping you become a better version of yourself. How about that?
  • Both of these behaviors are rooted in scarcity and lack of trust and are definitely a money capacity issue. How about not asking for a “credit” and being generous with the person who’s helping you become a better version of yourself. How about that?
  • People with Money Capacity don’t care if ‘all their time is used up yet’.  If they got their answer in ten minutes and they still have 50 minutes left, they know that their coach saved them 50 minutes of time and that is worth money in and of itself. You’re not paying for time in this case – you’re paying for results and value. So if you get the results and answers faster, even better. That’s abundance mentality.  That’s balanced Money Capacity in action.
  • Also under this category is any behavior where you are hyper-aware of whether or not you are “getting your money’s worth at all times”. That kind of energy is so constricted and untrusting that it will literally block the flow of money to you. 
  • Remember, money is energy. If your container is hypervigilant, distrusting you’ll get what you need, or always looking for ‘where you’re getting taken advantage of’,’ you’ll completely miss the abundance that keeps trying to come your way. 


Hearing what you want to hear about money and then blaming someone else for it.

  • I once had a client totally mis-hear something on our initial call.  She thought I had offered her a bonus I never did. I even went back to the recording of that call to make sure I was remembering what I said to her properly, and sure enough, I had never offered her what she ‘heard’ I offered her as a bonus.  
  • Worst of all, after working together for a year and her being extremely happy with her results, she decided to throw away that relationship we had built by implying I was trying to scam her over a non-existent bonus offer worth only a few hundred dollars.  
  • What do you think that says about your money capacity if you are willing to ruin a close and positive working relationship over a small amount of money that you mis-heard as an offer that never existed in the first place?  


Trying to swap out one service for another in hopes of getting two services for the price of one.

  • I’ll keep this one simple–someone’s life-changing services aren’t Pokemon cards. You can’t swap a one-on-one coaching session for registration to a group event. Or a free bonus you got as part of a program for a paid event. It’s presumptive and wrong. Don’t treat people like that.  And if you do, don’t be surprised if someone treats your services that way.  Remember, when it comes to money, energy matches energy. 


Most bartering/sharing/swapping in almost every form.

  • I don’t barter and have honestly never found a bartering situation that was fair to everyone involved.  Many women who complain to me about people not wanting to pay for their services are also engaging in bartering and swapping. Jus’ sayin’ — make the connection between the action and the result. 


Asking a friend to pay for your services and then wanting to barter for theirs.

  • Yep, this has happened to many women I work with and to colleagues!


Bargain shopping for your transformation: thinking you can piecemeal the knowledge, information and expertise from multiple sources that will get you to your next level.

  • I once had a woman tell me in a sales call that ‘maybe she could go take a bunch of different cheaper workshops to put together what I would teach her in my program’.  
  • First, that’s impossible because what I teach is unique and unlike anything out there. (So is your area of expertise.)
  • Second, I checked in with her a few years later and guess how her Money Capacity/financial situation was? 
  • Don’t cheap out on your mentors.  What you pay for is what you get. 


Being obsessed with coupons and only buying things on sale (when you can afford to buy them outright).

  • Let’s be clear, I am NOT shaming people who truly depend on and NEED coupons and sales.  Lord knows I’ve had many times in my life where those sales and coupons allowed me to buy food for the week. I remember when .33 cent Mac N’ Cheese and .20 cent Top Ramen on sale at the grocery store was all I could afford to eat.
  • Instead, I’m talking about obsessing over coupons and getting things on sale when you can afford not to.  It’s scarcity mentality.  
  • If you truly trust that you are provided for, why do you not buy anything unless it has a coupon attached to it? What message do you think that sends about your state of trust and readiness to receive more money? How do you think that transmits to people who might want to pay you for your services?


Committing legally to coaching programs or other services and then simply not paying for it when it ‘no longer feels aligned’.  That’s just stealing.

  • I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of clients, colleagues (and yes, even myself) who have had people do this. The worst part of this is when spiritual jargon gets used to justify this behavior.  
  • When you sign a legal contract with a service provider for a certain length of time, you have taken up that spot for that length of time and they are not taking income for that spot while you have taken it up.  
  • Also, receiving someone’s services, having them pre-pay for your attendance to retreats, guest mentor etc.. and then not honoring your legal agreement because you ‘just don’t feel like it anymore’ is literally stealing from them.  
  • I once had a woman do this very thing, and since she couldn’t claim that the services she was receiving weren’t incredible and getting her amazing results, she used the spiritual bypass phrase “it just doesn’t feel aligned anymore”.  I wonder if I could tell the bank that it ‘doesn’t feel aligned’ to pay my mortgage anymore. Or maybe the IRS would take that as a reason to not pay taxes? What message do you think it sends about your readiness to hold, handle and receive more money when someone engages in behavior like this?
  • Not surprisingly, people who do this to others tend to struggle financially.  It’s bad money karma!


Expecting 10 years of transformation for the price of one session.

  • You may have experienced this: someone signs up for a few hours of your time in a group setting, yet has a problem that would actually require lots of 1:1 coaching and TIME to unravel and improve.  Yet they expect 10 years of transformation in that one short session. Then get angry at you for not “fixing” them in just a few short hours. 
  • Be honest with yourself, have you done this same thing to someone else you hired before?  No shame. But it’s important to be honest with ourselves about our behaviors if we want to expand our money capacity.
  • If you want results that transform you down to a DNA-level, then be willing to pay for that kind of transformation.  That kind of transformation requires a lot of time and effort from a service provider. Chances are high that it will cost you more than a couple hundred bucks and a few hours of your time.  It requires devotion–financially and energetically.
  • What kind of message do you think this kind of expectation sends about your money capacity?


Not signing up for a program or service unless it has a money back guarantee.

  • Let me ask you a question – if you don’t believe in that person’s ability to help you enough that you require a money back guarantee… or you don’t believe in YOUR ability to commit to your transformation in that program… enough so that you require a money back guarantee → are you actually READY to invest your time, money and energy in that program anyway?
  • This kind of requirement often is laced in victim mentality.  This mentality says, “I can’t take the reins of my own transformation and DECIDE that I will have a powerful shift.  So instead, I’ll make the person providing the service responsible for something only I can take responsibility for”.
  • When we put that kind of non-commital energy into investments we make, don’t you think money will show up noncommittally for us?


Only being able to invest in yourself until ALL the money is in the bank.

  • When you refuse to invest in yourself until your bank statement reaches some “future” goal, you’ll be waiting a LONG time.  
  • That’s just not how money works.  Very often, you have to be willing to take the leap so the Universe can meet you halfway.  If you refuse to take the first step in trusting that you can create what you need for your investment, the Universe won’t take it’s step to meet you.
  • This is also a sign of not having the capacity to COMMIT to your results.  When you’re committed, you can ALWAYS generate the remainder of the investment because you DECIDED you would. Period.  Nothing can get in your way. This is a capacity expander in and of itself – to see what you are ACTUALLY capable of generating instead of falling into the old ‘I can’t’ stories.
  • I have seen women sell their expensive cameras, borrow money from friends, sell extra coaching packages and more, to invest in their results with me.  They ALWAYS were happy with their results and investment. And because they went all in to raise that money they also applied themselves 100% to their transformation and were truly ready to DO the hard work it requires to have such a shift.
  • Having the mentality of not moving forward until you have all the money in your bank account can stagnate your growth for years. And when you stagnate your personal growth, you also stagnate your money flow.


Being willing to pay top dollar for a ‘business coach’ but when it comes to personal development or spiritual work, not wanting to pay for more than one $125 session.

  • And then you wonder why you longingly wish to talk about something other than business stuff but are afraid to do so because you think “no one pays for non-business coaching services”.  You’re literally reinforcing that belief in your nervous system every time you don’t pay a spiritual or inner work coach the same amount you would pay for business coaching. It sends the message to you subconsciously that only strategic business advice has value. And it conditions your nervous system to ‘look for proof’ that ‘no one wants to pay for non-strategic/business related services’. This is exactly why you feel afraid to add more depth to your work that goes beyond strategic advice. It’s exactly why you are afraid that ‘you’ll lose all your clients’ if you talk about anything ‘woo’.
  • I can’t even begin to tell you how many women in my field have bragged to me about spending $100,000 on a business coach, but when they message me for a recommendation on a coach that provides non-strategic services, or an energy healer,  they balk at paying $200 for an hour of their time.  
  • What’s even more interesting is that many of these women are seeking spiritual advice BECAUSE they are starting to have financial plateau issues.  Yet their behavior contradicts their claim they want to make more money teaching topics other than business. How can they when they themselves don’t believe spiritual services are worth as much as business coaching services?
  • What message do you think it sends about your money capacity when you’re unwilling to pay the same amount for deep, energetic shifts as you are for business strategic advice?


If this has ruffled anything in you, I want you to notice that. What you’re feeling isn’t shame or hurt, it’s misalignment.

If you’ve got a million ‘buts’ to add to the points I made here – save the energy you’ll spend posting them in the comments and instead ask yourself why you have that ‘but’.

That’s your money capacity speaking. Are you liking what it’s saying?  

When your money capacity is balanced it’s communicating abundance, trust and capability to hold, handle and receive more financially. 

If it’s saying anything other than that, you might have a money capacity crisis – which means you’ll want to have a front row seat at the upcoming virtual Money Capacity Retreat

I have made three dates available to choose from, so “I can’t make that date” is taken care of for you. Plus, if you’re committed to working on this, schedules can be flexed so you can be there.

And, if you can believe it, I’m offering it for the same, reasonable price I offered the previous virtual retreats, only $500.

Each date is limited to only 8 women, as I want to make sure you get enough time with me to really address the core of your money capacity issues.  

If you want to learn more about what you can expect during the retreat, get the dates for the retreats and more, click the button below to learn more and enroll.



Heads up – the three previous virtual retreats ALL SOLD OUT.  FAST. 

So book your seat now. Not a tired-internet-marketing-gimmick to get you to scramble to buy.  It’s just the plain truth.  


Lisa Fabrega

Ps: if you have any questions, just email and we’ll be happy to answer. I want to help you to make sure this is the right thing for you!