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From the blog…
I’m triggered
For as long as I’ve had a business, I’ve repeatedly heard a particular thing from people who choose to work with me: “You used to trigger me so much, but for some reason I stayed following you. Now I realize it’s because back then I wasn’t ready to face my stuff. Now I am.” Then they sign up to work with me. Funny enough, those are usually my BEST clients. If I had a dollar for every time someone has said this to me... Growing up in a dictatorship, I learned quickly what it does to your soul to have...
your blindspot cycles
Two years ago I wrote a post that went viral, “When the world is dying, do this”. One thing you notice when you’re working with people on their capacity for over a decade is the world goes through cycles. And the cycles repeat until we learn our lessons and wake up to the blindspots we’ve been pushing aside. You may have noticed this when the pandemic started and then when the necessary, global upheaval over George Floyd’s murder: capacity dilemmas you’d been able to ignore became unignorable. This year has torn away all the hiding places and lifted all the...
are you regressing?
Is it just me or have you seen some really strange and “out of left field” behavior coming out of people lately? Scratch that. I know it’s not me. It’s something I keep hearing from everyone. I’ve also seen some people who I thought were pretty stable and solid-at-the-core get REALLY thrown off their balance and do some silly, irrational things. Making poor decisions. Obsessing about petty things. Or acting downright out of character. A few weeks ago, I had to spend an hour on the phone calming down a normally solid client who had gotten way too wrapped up...
my relationship status
A few years ago, I had an uncomfortable experience at a retreat I was leading. It was the end of a breakthrough day and my team had champagne & desserts set out for participants as we all socialized. I was sitting on a couch chatting with several women when one of them abruptly and oddly changed the topic of our conversation. With a searching tone, she asked deeply personal (and slightly inappropriate) questions about my dating life. I’ve been coaching for over a decade and receiving coaching longer. And I’ve seen people with very poor client/coach boundaries. When these boundaries...
major money dilemma
A few weeks ago in the Capacity Shift™ group call we had a pretty amazing discussion about capitalism and how to build wealth/charge more when we don't agree with a system that cares about profits over humans. It was a wonderful question brought up by a participant. In the space of fifteen minutes we got a chance to redefine what we can do to change the face of capitalism so it puts humans over profits. AND the participants walked away having released the fear of charging more money for their work in a way that felt aligned with their values....
when self-care is sabotage
A few years ago, I accomplished a years-long dream: I booked five days at a luxurious suite in Santorini, Greece. I had the whole image in my head for YEARS. I wanted one of those suites I always saw on Instagram with the private hot tubs overlooking the caldera of the volcano. So, I booked two retreats for clients in Santorini (one for my Capacity Circle mastermind and the other a private 1:1 client retreat) and in between I sandwiched my own “self-care” vacation. It was GLORIOUS. Every morning they brought me an amazing, fresh healthy breakfast. I got to...
mindset work doesn’t work
Whenever I talk about Capacity something interesting happens. Inevitably, I get a bunch of comments from people that say ““yes! I’m working on my mindset!” or they’ll say they’re working on their capacity when what they’re actually doing is just signing up for another “mindset hacks” course. People often think when I talk about capacity I’m talking about mindset. No. Mindset doesn’t hold a candle to capacity. Mindset is like focusing on your fingernail when you should be taking a look at your entire arm. If you keep focusing on mindset, you’re barely scratching the surface. Mindset is superficial...
it’s a waste of time
What “life lessons” have you learned in the past ten years? For me there are a few that stick out (and that consequently I teach in Capacity Work™). But there was one life lesson I kept thinking about all week which I’ve personally learned the hard way: Don’t fight harder for someone than they want to fight for themselves. You might’ve learned as a child that you had to fight for everything you have. Or maybe you had to fight to get a parent’s love. Were you a child in a large family and had to fight for people to...
the nasty voice
On Monday, I woke up to screaming. It was me, screaming at myself in my head, “My life is just beginning to get really good, this is only the beginning! I create my reality!” It was the voice of my higher self (I call her my sovereign self) yelling at the voice of my tricky ego. And it must have been one hell of a battle in my sleep if she was laying down such fierce boundaries with my ego. Something happened to me when I turned 38. At the time, I searched online for other women who might have...
it’s over
If you’ve been here for a while, then you know this: you can’t divest the topic of racism from the topic of capacity. They go hand in hand. It’s BEEN part of the capacity conversation, always. The ability (or inability) to dismantle systemic racism IS a capacity issue. The ability to have the hard conversations, hold the space for and respect the rightful rage around this global issue IS real capacity in action. You either have the capacity for the conversation or you don’t. You either have the capacity to examine yourself and root out where systemic racism is subconsciously...